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Made A Real Tw#t Of Myself Last Night


Mr Stinky
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[quote name='gjones' timestamp='1393199832' post='2377372']
I had a similar thing happen to me. I was asked to get up with the band for a song, and just as the drummer counted the song in I looked down at the neck and went 'FECK, IT'S A FIVE STRING!!!'. I'd never played a fiver before and almost had a panic attack.
[/quote] I have never held a 5 string bass let alone play one. When you picked it up and realised, what was the problem? Could you have just played the top 4 strings, or are they tuned differently to a 4 string? Is the width of the neck a problem if you are not used to it as well? Are there many main differences apart from the extra string?

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[quote name='timmo' timestamp='1393260083' post='2377896']
I have never held a 5 string bass let alone play one. When you picked it up and realised, what was the problem? Could you have just played the top 4 strings, or are they tuned differently to a 4 string? Is the width of the neck a problem if you are not used to it as well? Are there many main differences apart from the extra string?
[/quote]

Well, an example would be, that you have a choice between playing in A on the E string on the 5th fret or the 10th fret on the B string. The decision I made, in a split second, was to ignore the B completely and managed to make my way through the song without anybody in the audience realising that I was freaking out..

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My own tale...

At my own wedding, the band we had hired were on a break. Our drummer arranged for us to do a couple of numbers at 2 minutes notice - the band were cool (brave?) enough to let us use their gear. At 10pm, after a lot of booze. And I was in full highland dress, as was my guitarist/best man. I'm six foot and generally quite a large guy, whereas the band's bassist was about half my size. His bass sat directly across my chest! Wasn't an easy strap to adjust, and I was wearing a sporren, so terrified of giving it ultimate buckle rash! (Fender Select Jazz!).

Think I played ok, but god knows how I looked!
,

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I may have missed something in this and apologies if I have , but She sells sanctuary is what our rhythm calls a 'clock' song , it just goes round and round and round and round , and it can be carried off quite reasonably with 4 notes , you could probably play it hendrix style upside down with your teeth after 2 bars practice ;)

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[quote name='lurksalot' timestamp='1393271936' post='2378145']
I may have missed something in this and apologies if I have , but She sells sanctuary is what our rhythm calls a 'clock' song , it just goes round and round and round and round , and it can be carried off quite reasonably with 4 notes , you could probably play it hendrix style upside down with your teeth after 2 bars practice ;)
[/quote]

The only thing you're missing is the 'inexperienced blind panic' factor. I'm by no means a seasoned live player.

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[quote name='Mr Stinky' timestamp='1393278497' post='2378275']


The only thing you're missing is the 'inexperienced blind panic' factor. I'm by no means a seasoned live player.
[/quote]

I can relate to that! If you start off on the wrong note and then become paralysed with fear, it's difficult to recover even a simple bass line.

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[quote name='seashell' timestamp='1393279558' post='2378292']
...If you start off on the wrong note and then become paralysed with fear, it's difficult to recover even a simple bass line.
[/quote]

Rubbish! Just feign a heart attack - this will distract everyone and they won't notice the mistake. :swoon:

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[quote]Rubbish! Just feign a heart attack - this will distract everyone and they won't notice the mistake.[/quote]

If in doubt stick on an A and play 8th notes. You are never usually more than 5 frets off key..! Just try to look cool like you are playing a 5th instead of root because you know it and the rest don't. Confidence - appear confident, even if you don't have a clue, and never stop playing as that is a dead giveaway!

Cheers,
Rich

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Playing a pub gig the other week and was going well until The man who can't be moved by the script - easy song but when I came in it sounded miles off, little looks between me the guitarist and the drummer - definitely me where it's going wrong - mouthing to the guitarist 'is it Bb?!' And he just shrugs like he doesn't know, I just stop playing and go down to tune while they play on thinking I must have had my tuning go miles out, back up, still sounds way off, I just chuck it and stand there while they finish the song - then the guitarist says at the end, 'sorry mate, I put the capo on the wrong fret' but all the audience thinks is 'bass player fair cocked that up!' 😒

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[quote name='Diablo' timestamp='1393280109' post='2378312']


If in doubt stick on an A and play 8th notes. You are never usually more than 5 frets off key..! Just try to look cool like you are playing a 5th instead of root because you know it and the rest don't. Confidence - appear confident, even if you don't have a clue, and never stop playing as that is a dead giveaway!

Cheers,
Rich
[/quote]

[Jazz] Yeah [/Jazz] ;)

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  • 3 months later...

A VERY long time ago, the novice covers band that I was in played our first public gig in front of friends from a local running group at their Xmas charity do. We set up in the afternoon, ran through our six song set, got the thumbs up from the guy delivering the beer and we went away feeling quietly confident about the forthcoming trial by fire.

The party and disco went on much longer than we were expecting and, being inexperienced and polite, we waited our turn. At 10.30pm we went on stage overcome with nerves. We had naively left our instruments and backline unattended and Mr Nobody had been fiddling with the settings, so when we started our first song it was dreadfully out of tune and the mix was awful. This continued throughout the set, despite variously twiddling and adjusting settings, tuning, etc. It didn't help that the guy flying the mixing desk had become totally pi**ed on the free beer so couldn't help us at all, in fact it would have been better if he had left the desk alone.

We we a laughing stock, humiliated.... The worst thing was that my Brother had brought his new girlfriend (now his Wife) along to meet my Wife (the singer in the band) and myself for the first time. Not the best of impressions to give.

Lessons learned and never repeated.

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Worst I've had was my first ever gig. I had been playing roughly 9 months at this point in time and we were doing a set of 4 original metal tunes. During the first song the drummers bass pedal stuck to the bass drum (luckily he used a double pedal and was good enough with that!). Come the second song I forget and start playing the wrong tune. Luckily nobody else had heard it before and it was in the same key so didn't sound too mental.

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I don't do this on the spur of the moment and so if I am asked prior to the set, I will check out the bass
and decide whether I want to do it.... but that is only for the one number type things..
I was recently asked to fill in on a charity gig for a blues band ( bass player called in sick ) and I said I'd have to go home and get my bass
which the gtr didn't get at all.... but then he thinks the whole band is about him..and it is tbf, so I didn't really
worry about how their gig went with the other guys that stepped up. I think he worried a bit more about bass payers after that, tho...

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Guest bassman7755

[quote name='timmo' timestamp='1393260083' post='2377896']
I have never held a 5 string bass let alone play one. When you picked it up and realised, what was the problem? Could you have just played the top 4 strings, or are they tuned differently to a 4 string? Is the width of the neck a problem if you are not used to it as well? Are there many main differences apart from the extra string?
[/quote]

I guess it depends on whether you naturally use the top (high) or bottom string to orient yourself, I do the former so was able to instantly play a 5 when I first got one (played it at rehearsal that same night). Id be royally stuffed playing a 6 though.

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[quote name='discreet' timestamp='1393279845' post='2378303']
Rubbish! Just feign a heart attack - this will distract everyone and they won't notice the mistake. :swoon:
[/quote][quote name='seashell' timestamp='1393279979' post='2378308']
I think Des O'Connor did something similar when he was being boo'ed at the Glasgow Empire! :D
[/quote]
I bloody wish Tommy Cooper had been feigning when he had his. :(

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I had a similar experience at a wedding several years ago. I went to my band mates wedding and was asked to join the stage with him to play a couple if songs. Baring in mind I had been drinking since the morning I was then handed a bass that had the most ridiculously high action I have ever experienced. I could string two notes together. It was very embarrassing. Someone asked me soon after we finished playing "someone told me that you are a professional musician" with a huge hint of sarcasm in their voice. I will never do that again

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[quote name='Meddle' timestamp='1393179958' post='2377051']
I don't really like playing other people's basses because they are usually covered in their sweat, snot and DNA
[/quote]

really?? :o :blink:

i can quite imagine bigredx might have this issue with dastardly dick venom but most of us make a conscious effort to stay at least two arms lengths away from our drummer at all times, no? :huh:

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[quote name='shizznit' timestamp='1401973397' post='2468802']
I could string two notes together. [/quote]

That's fine, don't worry.
It's when you string three notes together, then the problems start.
People accuse you of being a chops Meister player,
Or even worse......A Jazz musician.

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[quote name='Cameronj279' timestamp='1401964779' post='2468704']
Worst I've had was my first ever gig. I had been playing roughly 9 months at this point in time and we were doing a set of 4 original metal tunes. During the first song the drummers bass pedal stuck to the bass drum (luckily he used a double pedal and was good enough with that!). Come the second song I forget and start playing the wrong tune. Luckily nobody else had heard it before and it was in the same key so didn't sound too mental.
[/quote]

Bloomin' drummers and bass pedals! My drummer (who earns good money and lives with him mum!) continually has problems with his. Chain inevitably will fall of after a few songs. Check with him before every gig - he's finally managed to sort it properly. But we all just know it will pop off at the worst possible time, then he'll spend 5 minutes on stage trying to sort it.

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I found myself in the same situation a few weeks ago and despite a healthy dose of jack daniels ( it was my birthday ) i still managed to decline

Discretion being the better part of valour as they say it was only going end in tears despite being relatively competent

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