fender73 Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 ...at the end of a gig. Drunk, usually female (sorry ladies, but it's true), comes up [b]Example 1[/b] 'Is that all??' (guest) 'Yes sorry' (us) 'can you just do one more' (guest) 'Really sorry, we've been playing for 2 1/2 hours and we've run out of time'(us) 'Come one, just one more...' (guest) 'Really sorry, but the venue/landlord has called time and we have to stop'(us) 'F*** sake, you mean you can;t play one more f'ing song??' (guest) 'Like i said, really sorry, we have to finish and pack away - did you enjoy the set'(us) 'not really i only got 'ere 20 minutes ago...etc...etc...' (guest) or [b]Example 2[/b] 'Do you do any Rolling Stones'(guest) 'Yes, they are later in the set, stick around' (us) 'Ok'(guest) Later in the set when we've played probably 3 Stones songs 'Where's the Stones songs?'(guest) 'We've played 3 - did you enjoy them?'(us) 'Didn't hear them, was outside/In the Loo'(guest) 'Can you play them again?(guest) 'Sorry no, we've run out of time'(us) Which then leads to [b]Example 1[/b] again God i love gigs....i genuinely do, but there is always one....and there was tonight....and last week.......and the week before...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chrismanbass Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 or coming out to find the guy who fell into your speakers and trashed one of the grilles laying on your female keyboard players car bonnet and then the bass player and drummer evicting said drunk from said bonnet (btw this wasn't a pub gig this was a quite high end wedding at a mansion in hertfordshire) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hobbayne Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 (edited) Then theres the 'I,ve got a mate over there who can sing, can she sing one song?' Reluctantly agree and get pissed up woman stumbling up on stage and begins wailing completely off key... 'Karazee, Karazee for feeling so loneleee!! Hic!' Edited October 14, 2012 by Hobbayne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mxm Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 ...followed the immortal 'can I have a go of...' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Judo Chop Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 [quote name='Hobbayne' timestamp='1350175097' post='1835542'] Then theres the 'I,ve got a mate over there who can sing, can he sing one song?' Reluctantly agree and get pissed up woman stumbling up on stage and begins wailing completely off key... 'Karazee, Karazee for feeling so loneleee!! Hic!' [/quote] He changes sex when he drinks? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hobbayne Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 [quote name='Jack Cahalane' timestamp='1350175903' post='1835550'] He changes sex when he drinks? [/quote] Oh! 2 am edit hastily carried out! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bertbass Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 And I thought it was just us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evil Undead Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 Haha, yep there's always one! If they're not demanding one more song they're asking for a go on the guitars or drums, or falling over the monitors. Always makes for entertainment Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woodster Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 Or.... "Can you do that song by those American guys that goes ner ner ner, woo hoo, la la?" "Sorry, we don't know that one....." "But you MUST know it....?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blademan_98 Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 I once had a drunk lady flash her er... appendages at me. My wife, who was sitting in the audience, was not amused! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigRedX Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 The more I read threads like this the more I realise that playing in a covers band seems mostly a thankless task, and makes me grateful for the fact that my covers band is a bit of fun that does a handful of gigs playing mainly to friends and family of the other band members, leaving me with plenty of time to concentrate to writing and playing with my originals band whose audience appreciates what we do and shows it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jezzaboy Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 (edited) The best one I had was: Drunk guy. "Hey mate give us goodbye yellow brick road by that Elton p**fter" Me. Looks round to see if we have aquired a piano player since we started the gig. No, no piano. Or Elton. "Sorry mate we don`t do that one" Drunk guy buggers off muttering to himself. Or the famous drunk woman. "My mate`s a great singer, can she get up and sing a song?" Mate is a Boabby Dazzaler. Me "No" The thought of these people coating your mic with their saliva and other things. Edited October 14, 2012 by jezzaboy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spike Vincent Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 [quote name='BigRedX' timestamp='1350203661' post='1835634'] The more I read threads like this the more I realise that playing in a covers band seems mostly a thankless task, and makes me grateful for the fact that my covers band is a bit of fun that does a handful of gigs playing mainly to friends and family of the other band members, leaving me with plenty of time to concentrate to writing and playing with my originals band whose audience appreciates what we do and shows it. [/quote] Pretty much my view. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delberthot Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 We had a classic years ago in a social club where your typical Rab C wearing, I kid you not, a suit jacket with a white vest underneath wanted to sing "I can't help falling in love" by Elvis Well he did but he didn't leave any gaps between each line of lyrics so we were constantly trying to catch up. By the end of the song I was bent up double cos I was laughing so hard. Rab C turns round and say "F**kin' band dinnae ken it" Our guitarist a few years ago decided for safety to rig up a chain around the PA in case anyone bumped into it and knocked it over. Getting towards the end of a gig there was a really, really drunk bloke who wanted to get up and sing.He'd already tried to climb up on stage at my side and I'd resisted the temptation to kick him in the chest. He tries to climb up the other side and to help him up he held on to the pole that the top PA speaker was sitting on only to lose his balance, fall backwards onto the floor taking the sub & top speaker, lights and desk with him cos they'd all been chained together. He lay there for several minutes while we told the audience that, because of the drunk guy on the floor, we were having to end the night early which resulted in two women having a right cat fight outside the hotel. I had a couple who were being really annoying by running up to me then running back again while we were playing. They got so close that they were touching my bass and muting the strings.The singer said over the mic that if anyone did it again we would stop playing. Well they tried it again so I moved my bass out of the way and planted one right in the guy's bread basket. Went down like a sack of potatoes. They didn't do it again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donnyboy Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 (edited) <iframe width="420" height="315" src="[url="http://www.youtube.com/embed/24_tiGZgPP4"]http://www.youtube.com/embed/24_tiGZgPP4[/url]" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe> this familar to anyone - probably most of the above!!! I want feckin Brown Eyed Girl!!!!!! and I want it now , Sweet Home Alabama ..... Edited October 14, 2012 by Donnyboy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barneyg42 Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 Last night, charity function.....great crowd, get a few odd requests for a classic rock band (Elki Brooks etc) that we manage to busk through but one woman kept on coming up to me and shouting "Chesney Hawkes". After about the tenth time I shout back "Look I know he's put on a few pounds but as you can see I'm not fecking Chesney Hawkes" I think the laughter from the crowd made her shut up at last! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swanbrook Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 Ah ya gotta love it !! "Hey can I play the drums ??" Guest "I dont know, can you " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sté Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 and don't forget the: mmmm, mma, maann gi gimme your ba, bass. i'm a gre great bassplayyyer ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JapanAxe Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 Never EVER let audience members get up to sing/play. You can't win. If they are bad they make you look bad. If they are good the audience will want to keep them up there, and the venue/client will wonder why they are paying your band when this person can do better for free! Exception: live band karaoke. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimR Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 Packing down one night, with the iPod still running through the mixer, I unplug a mic to hear a huge pop out of the front of house speakers. WTF! Some drunk was playing with the faders on the mixer. I walk over to ask him what he thinks he is doing. "It's alright mate." says his friend, "He knows what he's doing, he plays in a band." ?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donnyboy Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 [quote name='barneyg42' timestamp='1350227962' post='1835986'] Last night, charity function.....great crowd, get a few odd requests for a classic rock band (Elki Brooks etc) that we manage to busk through but one woman kept on coming up to me and shouting "Chesney Hawkes". After about the tenth time I shout back "Look I know he's put on a few pounds but as you can see I'm not fecking Chesney Hawkes" I think the laughter from the crowd made her shut up at last! [/quote] You sure you're not the one and only Chesney Hawkes!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swanbrook Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 He can't be ..... I am the one and only !! Sorry In Advance Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karlfer Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 All the time. Fri night, they just got on with enjoying themselves, one pair, sorry, lady, in particular . Saturday night, 3 pissed up twenty somethings. How many times do you have to say, "No, we don't and won't do Oasis"! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yorkielowdown Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 a woman once asked our drummer. `do you do sex on fire?` He said `yes- but the wife has to keep a bucket of water ready` Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4 Strings Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 Loads of these. Wedding, half way through the set, after a really cockney fella had got up and insisting on singing his way through something or other with us, up pops a bridesmaid, sings exactly the same but an octave higher. Then up pops the bride, and wham, over goes the bridesmaid to the sound of bride screaming, 'Stop f.....g trying to f....g upstage me on my day!' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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