Marvin Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 (edited) I'm currently in two bands, both just started up. One is originals, I'm not writing any of the material and only have to work on my lines and turn up to practice once a week at the moment until such time we're all happy to start getting out there. It's also a band with whom I'm good friends with the singer and guitarist and the other two guys are good sorts as well. Being not much work I joined a covers band that was starting up. This too is pretty low maintenance as the drummer works away, so is at home 5weeks then working 5weeks. The two seemed to be able to fit perfectly and as I saw it would get me playing a variety of stuff with different people. The covers band has only had two rehearsals, last one on Tuesday. At this rehearsal the drummer was keen to get to a local open mic on a Thursday. I told him that wasn't possible for me as that's when my originals band were 99.9% likely to want to practice and I couldn't do one on Sunday as I'd agreed to pick up my parents from the station that evening. Both bands know I'm in another band, in the originals it's almost par for the course that you have another project on the go. So, although over reacting a little, I was a little knarked to get this from the drummer of the cover's band. [quote] [color=#2A2A2A][font=Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif][size=3]........, have your originals band said that they will practice next Thursday? If not, then any chance you could tell them that you aren't available? I would like to think that we have equal standing with them, and not be coming in as 2nd priority. We can chat -not trying to make a big deal out of it, but it would be good to know where we stand.[/size][/font][/color] [/quote] Since we've only had two rehearsals and as usual being the bass player I'm the only one who has learnt all the songs properly, I thought it was a little early to start questioning my level of commitment. Especially as 'others' are having problems with such testing ditties as 'Maybe Tomorrow' by the Stereophonics Such a situation became an issue for the singer in my last band, who was in another band, and caused continual friction between her and the guitarist. Hence I'm tempted to politely say I'll leave now, to avoid potential future ball ache. Edited June 15, 2012 by Marvin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RockfordStone Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 you've been honest with both bands, and after 2 practices, who's to say either band is going to go somewhere. its a bit harsh for the drummer to start questioning where your priorities are before things have even got out of the practice room. my gut feeling is that if he's like this now he's only going to get worse and its not worth the hassle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wooks79 Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 Start a third band Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marvin Posted June 15, 2012 Author Share Posted June 15, 2012 (edited) [quote name='RockfordStone' timestamp='1339773190' post='1694165'] you've been honest with both bands, and after 2 practices, who's to say either band is going to go somewhere. its a bit harsh for the drummer to start questioning where your priorities are before things have even got out of the practice room. my gut feeling is that if he's like this now he's only going to get worse and its not worth the hassle [/quote] that's very much my gut feeling as well to be honest. I don't want to walk off, but.... [quote name='Wooks79' timestamp='1339773296' post='1694169'] Start a third band [/quote] Don't joke, that almost happened a few weeks ago Edited June 15, 2012 by Marvin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flyfisher Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 I'd reply that my priorities lie with my firm bookings. I'd bet the drummer isn't available every single day for the next month so what about his priorities? (not singling him out - such things apply to everyone). The point being that as long as you honour your first firm commitment (for either band) then what does it matter if you're in two bands - unless they expect you to cancel things at a moment's notice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaydentaku Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 I think he is jumping the gun and as others have said, sound like he could get worse Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dave_bass5 Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 Its always going to be tricky. I expect both bands want to make it, do lots of gigs etc and i can totally understand some members getting jumpy about commitment. Its all very well saying you will honour the first gig in each time (if thats what you have done) but that then leaves the other band with a problem, especially if its originals and they need to get someone in to cover you. Personally i wouldn't be in a band with someone who was going to cost me loss of earnings, or at least extra hassle. To me its not worth it and un fair. This is not attacking anyone, and in fact i did it myself for a few years recently but these situations can become messy IMO. There is no straight answer as none of us can predict whats coming, but in answer to the original post, and in my view of course, if its a new band, with all of you putting in time and effort i dont see why its a problem being questioned on commitment. I would expect both band will want to be first place come gig day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marvin Posted June 15, 2012 Author Share Posted June 15, 2012 [quote name='dave_bass5' timestamp='1339774489' post='1694195'] Its always going to be tricky...... [/quote] I could understand him being jumpy if we were ready to be gigging properly, but we've only had 2 rehearsals and he's only talking of doing an open mic night at which we'd probably do 3 maybe 4 songs. The singer is very hesitant about doing it anyway as she thinks we need some more practice. It is the very start of things. In my view we're at the, 'still testing the water' stage with each other. Hence to start raising questions about commitment is somewhat premature. I've not had the same response from the originals band, and in fact our guitarist has started another originals project and it's done him the world of good, at our last practice he was swimming with ideas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve-bbb Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 [quote name='Marvin' timestamp='1339772858' post='1694159'] Especially as 'others' are having problems with such testing ditties as 'Maybe Tomorrow' by the Stereophonics [/quote] RUN AWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dave_bass5 Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 [quote name='Marvin' timestamp='1339775161' post='1694210'] It is the very start of things. In my view we're at the, 'still testing the water' stage with each other. Hence to start raising questions about commitment is somewhat premature. [/quote] I personally would have said its the other way around. Why wouldn't he want to know you are committed at the start of something. Better now than to find out later you arent surely? As for the open mic night, he sounds like he wants to get out there and start playing (unlike the originals band by the sound of it), it might not be a good gig but its a start and might be good exposure. I really dont understand the have none of it responses. Hopefully someone will be able to enlighten me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commando Jack Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 [quote name='dave_bass5' timestamp='1339775487' post='1694223'] I really dont understand the have none of it responses. Hopefully someone will be able to enlighten me. [/quote] I think it's just that some people have had bad experiences that started out like this, but just got uglier as time went on and the person turned out to be a diva/control freak/mental case/madonna fan (delete as appropriate). It's not necessarily whats happening here though. I think the drummer's initial question is valid though - if the other band haven't commited to a practise yet then surely you're free to do the open mic? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gary mac Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 Am I right in thinking that you are down in Devon Marvin? Just about every ad I see on Lemonrock seems to be from bands in that neck of the woods. Might have to move down there myself Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marvin Posted June 15, 2012 Author Share Posted June 15, 2012 You'll have to be quick Gary, DaveVader gets all the best gigs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JTUK Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 I don't see why you wouldn't do the open mic..all other things considered, if the Originals rehearsal wasn't in the diary. If it was..and you couldn't rearrrange it, then ok. I think both projects could benefit with getting a move on...so it might stir the originals act up.. and if they haven't any dates on the horizon, then they can't really miss a 'rehearsal'..?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lettsguitars Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 [quote name='Wooks79' timestamp='1339773296' post='1694169'] Start a third band [/quote]This, and then some. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gt4ever Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 For me it always came on a first come first serve basis when in multiple bands, be it practice or gigs, even if one paid more than the other I always keep my original bookings and if you are honest and up front from the start then I dont see if being a problem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lojo Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 Answer his question and tell him what your priority is or how you intend to manage any conflicts If your thoughts are not what he wants to hear at least he will know where you stand and if then excepts your position they can't hassle you about it again Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BottomE Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 [quote name='lojo' timestamp='1339779314' post='1694316'] Answer his question and tell him what your priority is or how you intend to manage any conflicts If your thoughts are not what he wants to hear at least he will know where you stand and if then excepts your position they can't hassle you about it again [/quote] ^ this Don't let it become a saga of imagined exaggerations from texts and emails. Tell it like it is and everyone can move on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truckstop Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 I used to keep a diary and if anything concrete was ever sorted it went in regardless of whether there were any "maybes" floating around on the same day. Sometimes I've regretted it because I've missed out on some big gigs over smaller gigs that was in the diary first, but my conscience(sp? It looks wrong) is clear. You haven't committed to a rehearsal with the originals band so why not do the open mic night? It'll be fun! Truckstop Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skankdelvar Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 Funny how - in new, under-rehearsed, ungigged bands - it's always the drummer who goes "Yeah! Wow! Let's [i]dooooo itttttt[/i]!" and everyone sort of shuffles their feet a bit and coughs. I suppose it's not an unreasonable question to ask but looks dead pushy when written down. Teach him to use the telephone and to speak with his mouth. All will be lovely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marvin Posted June 15, 2012 Author Share Posted June 15, 2012 (edited) [quote name='skankdelvar' timestamp='1339781854' post='1694375'] Funny how - in new, under-rehearsed, ungigged bands - it's always the drummer who goes "Yeah! Wow! Let's [i]dooooo itttttt[/i]!" and everyone sort of shuffles their feet a bit and coughs. I suppose it's not an unreasonable question to ask but looks dead pushy when written down. Teach him to use the telephone and to speak with his mouth. All will be lovely. [/quote] In my limited experience, drummers are usually eager to get out because they just busk their way through every song they're asked to do. I've yet to meet one that actually practices the songs. Tuesday for example drummer says "I haven't learnt the drum part to Ain't no sunshine as it is on the record so we'll just go with the flow". Yep, let's just massacre the song then! He's quite pushy in the flesh to be honest Edited June 15, 2012 by Marvin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lozz196 Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 Being in 2 bands myself (and virtually all of us in these bands are in other bands too) whichever is a firm booking is the one that gets my time. Someone asks are you available for so-and-so, as soon as I`ve agreed, and they`ve confirmed it has been booked, that`s where I go. It`s the only way to manage it. Yes, inevitably at some point you will "let down" one of the bands, but in truth, letting someone down is stating availability, then not turning up. Stating not available up front is not letting anyone down, it`s simply prior commitments. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skankdelvar Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 [quote name='Marvin' timestamp='1339782524' post='1694387'] He's quite pushy in the flesh to be honest [/quote] Leave a Weight-Watchers' mag lying around the rehearsal room. He'll soon get the hint. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marvin Posted June 15, 2012 Author Share Posted June 15, 2012 [quote name='skankdelvar' timestamp='1339782653' post='1694392'] Leave a Weight-Watchers' mag lying around the rehearsal room. He'll soon get the hint. [/quote] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chris_b Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 Gigs always top trump rehearsals. Always! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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