How to Quit Politely

[Bassman1974]

2 hours ago, StickyDBRmf said:

I have an idea, but what exactly is a bell end?

Another name for either a guitarist or a saxophone player 

[Beedster]

21 hours ago, binky_bass said:

Fight all of them in a massive brawl, use as many weapons as is possible, I'd suggest swinging a ship's anchor around your head for maximum damage. Once everyone is sufficiently subdued tell them all it's their fault and that you're now going to take all their belongings and burn them in a giant fire followed by creating a commune where you are the leader and their families now live under your leadership. 

 

Or... just tell them honestly how you feel! 

Basschat needs more of this type of advice 👍

[kiat]

This happened to me a few days ago

 

If band A is an "open marriage" where it's fine for members to be in other bands, then join the one(s) you want to. To leave, later on you can honestly say to band A you don't have the time/memory/musical interests/money/whatever any more due to your lifestyle changes.

 

For me I needed to focus on the bands that I'm playing with that I'm actively gigging with, even though band A was one of the first I joined. 

 

Good luck!

[Gust0o]

Just be nice and transparent, avoid the temptation to burn bridges - unless it's made of paraffin-soaked palettes and absolutely in need of a match. Some bands do be like that.

 

They sound like decent people, just not right for you. Good luck!

[martin8708]

Tell them you have a job . (Full time , long hours ,preferably with HMRC ) 

Tell them you have a wife .

Tell them you have children . 
 

When I use all three , it normally allows me an easy exit from a band .

[tauzero]

On 27/08/2025 at 14:10, Jonesy said:

Fake your own death?

 

I left one band amicably nearly 20 years ago as we weren't getting any gigs and I'd got the offer of a quite busy club band. The band got a replacement, but some time later they couldn't get in touch with him for a gig and they asked me to dep, which I did. Subsequently they found that he'd died.

[mowf]

2 hours ago, martin8708 said:

Tell them you have a job . (Full time , long hours ,preferably with HMRC ) 

Tell them you have a wife .

Tell them you have children . 
 

When I use all three , it normally allows me an easy exit from a band .

Personally speaking, having a job, wife and children are 3 good reasons for my wanting to be IN a band. 

[Dan Dare]

13 hours ago, mowf said:

Personally speaking, having a job, wife and children are 3 good reasons for my wanting to be IN a band. 

 

Yep. I remember those days. The band was a refuge from all the other stuff that clamoured for my attention. Having said that, being in a band with those who have the family commitments, job demands, etc can be awkward.

 

My band has recently had the "We'll have to limit the number of gigs we accept. The missus complains she never sees me, the job is demanding, etc" discussion.  I understand their situation and appreciate it's easier for me, as a retired single bloke, but having worked to get ourselves to a position where we are in demand, only to row back from it, is frustrating.

[TimR]

ŴThe two reasons seem to be:

 

The singer is inexperienced.

The guitarist is difficult to get along with.

 

My view would be to say that you were hoping the band would be gigging by now and thought that following the open night there are a number of things you need to address before you're ready to gig. Maybe have a 'nice' list.

 

From there, you can either judge the mood or suggest they find a bass player who is more aligned with their timeline and experience. I don't know. It's difficult to say that without sounding pompous. 🤣

[thodrik]

21 hours ago, mowf said:

Personally speaking, having a job, wife and children are 3 good reasons for my wanting to be IN a band. 

Exactly!

[chris_b]

"Sorry guys, I've decided this is not for me. It's been nice playing with you but I'm leaving. Good luck with the band."

[dave_bass5]

A '👋" text and then block them all 🙂

[Si600]

Turn up late to rehearsal, lock the door and burn the place down?

 

 

 

Well, it worked for the Saxons anyway. 

[dave_bass5]

36 minutes ago, Si600 said:

Turn up late to rehearsal, lock the door and burn the place down?

 

 

 

Well, it worked for the Saxons anyway. 

Was this at Pirate studios 😎