Least amicable band split stories...

[SimonK]

21 hours ago, EliasMooseblaster said:

The email exchange that followed, I can only describe as agonising. Not least of all because I ended up writing most of them. We got on the blower to MU: (Can she do this? She wrote the song, but we all paid for the studio time...they're separate entities? Right...) And to be fair, it was a useful crash course in copyright and ownership. But however politely-but-firmly I tried to explain our position, but every reply seemed to be more stroppy and vitriolic than the last.

 

In my only band that had originals we just agreed not to gig any of the songs solely written by the departed member. Thus said we did record and release things pretty quickly so no one could really try to release something in their own name without referencing the band as the recording was already on spotify etc. If any of the departed song writers wanted to re-record and release again I don't think I would have a problem - I think legally the song IP belongs to the writer, but the recording IP belongs to all those on the recording, so a songwriter can re-record and re-release, but musicians can't... I think...

Edited August 24 by SimonK

[Bluewine]

Years ago I briefly joined a band because I was desperate to be in a band. I made it to two rehearsals before I realized my mistake.  Too far of a commute, I was too old and wrong type of music for me ( metal ). I had to figure out an acceptable reason quitting. 

 

Daryl

Edited August 25 by Bluewine

[Bluewine]

On 22/08/2025 at 02:54, Marvin said:

It wasn't a band as such as there was no singer and it never got out of the practice room. The guitarist especially was really unpleasant.  We auditioned a singer to do originals. Great voice. After she left at the end of the audition the guitarist and drummer slagged her off for being "clueless" in the attempt she made. I pointed out she wasn't a mind reader as they'd not given any guidance as to what they wanted. A few weeks later I was told that the project was on hold as the guitarist had too many family commitments. The dopey pair forgot about social media though.  I found out I'd been replaced a few days later on Facebook.  I contacted the guitarist and had my longest swear rant at him.

 

Another band, the singer told us she was leaving after our first gig as she was moving away. We had possibly 2 more gigs before she left which she would do. Next gig, a set list is produced and it's minimal. I said I was concerned there wasn't enough material on it. Was told we'd pad it out with tuning up and talking. I said I thought that was cr@p. All hell broke loose, and ended with me telling them to sod off and I wasn't doing the gig. 

 

From what I can see, most " start up " bands never see their 1st gig. It's very difficult to find people that can fully commit. 

 

Daryl

[Bluewine]

On 23/08/2025 at 02:46, Paul S said:

I joined a start-up band which went through a couple of personnel changes but the singer - new to bands but actually a good front man - was becoming increasingly difficult.  LVS struck deep - he'd had a few promotions at work and started to believe his own PR, treating the rest of the band as lackies.  It came to a head at a birthday gig we did.  It is well known amongst my friends that I get grumpy if I don't eat regularly.  This gig he said we were to help ourselves to the buffet before we started.  Kick off time was raidly approaching, no sign of buffet.  He lied, said no mention of buffet had ever been made, I got cross and we ended up having a nose to nose just before going on.  I may have said a few things about his attitude and, as I recall, finished up threatening to throw him off the fire escape.  Never a realistic prospect, what with my bad back and his obesity but there you go.  Immediately afterwards he said I had to go, the band fell in with that so I got sacked.  They didn't find another bassist.  Shortly afterwards the singer left as his wife had a baby, they asked me back, we got another singer.  But it was never the same, really.  

 

I don't like it when venues pull the plug on food.

 

Our Harley Davidson contracts always specify what food and drinks are comped. They are more tham generous. 

 

Daryl

Edited August 25 by Bluewine

[Roger2611]

I was once turned down for a band because I didn't like Guns n Roses enough, the band didn't even play any Guns n Roses, they rang me up a few weeks later to see if I would be prepared to dep for the bassist they had gone with as he couldn't do many weekend gigs! I politely declined!

[EliasMooseblaster]

12 hours ago, SimonK said:

 

In my only band that had originals we just agreed not to gig any of the songs solely written by the departed member. Thus said we did record and release things pretty quickly so no one could really try to release something in their own name without referencing the band as the recording was already on spotify etc. If any of the departed song writers wanted to re-record and release again I don't think I would have a problem - I think legally the song IP belongs to the writer, but the recording IP belongs to all those on the recording, so a songwriter can re-record and re-release, but musicians can't... I think...

Yeah, that's pretty much what the MU told us, if memory serves: in our case, the singer had written that particular song, so she was welcome to re-record it, but the recording belonged to whoever paid for it, i.e., all four of us. And it was pretty obvious that it was the same recording that was on our album!

 

In fact, thinking back, she may not have even paid her share (I think the guitarist kindly covered her share at the time as she was tight for cash, and may not have paid him back)...so she may not technically have had any claim to the recording!

Edited August 25 by EliasMooseblaster

[rwillett]

On 22/08/2025 at 14:22, AndyTravis said:

Was with a girl of questionable morals who bedded the singer in my band.

 

So I broke the singers nose.

 

I think that was a pretty acrimonious split.

 

I dumped her too. Then shagged her best mate.

 

seemed appropriate at the time.

 

 

 

Opens notebook.

Writes down "Don't piss Andy Travis off". 

Closes notebook. 

[Wombat]

I didn’t ‘pass’ the audition because I didn’t agree with one of the guitarists that John Deacon was the best bassist in the world. I said he was a ‘great’ bassist but definitely not technically the best.

 

And it was a blues band and we weren’t playing any Queen songs 😂.

[Bluewine]

This one has probably already been mentioned. You've been told the band is breaking up. Then you find out the band is still together only your no longer a member.

 

Daryl

[Rich]

Yep, I think that's happened to several of our BC fam.

[bassbiscuits]

On 22/08/2025 at 14:22, AndyTravis said:

Was with a girl of questionable morals who bedded the singer in my band.

 

So I broke the singers nose.

 

I think that was a pretty acrimonious split.

 

I dumped her too. Then shagged her best mate.

 

seemed appropriate at the time.

 

 

Sounds like a hell of a first set. 

[AndyTravis]

Fresh one…

 

After 8 months, the self produced and recorded album is ready.

 

We played a gig on Friday, all good.

 

A well known local producer likes what we’ve played at the gig, offers to mix a track for us.

 

We said, “no the guitarist has done a great job and we’re happy”

 

”I’ll do it for nowt, see what you think?”

 

Suggestion is put to the band. On Saturday.

 

Guitarist initially says “fine by me”

 

I said I don’t see the point - but we did “spare tracks” why not send that guy one and see what he does with it; it’s free.

 

conversation continues via WhatsApp.

 

Keys player (guitarists wife) then says we’re being really unfair/unreasonable getting someone to remix the album after guitarist has put loads of hours in.

 

I agree with the sentiment, but reiterated that it’s one track - not the album.

 

Anyhow, guitarist says I “deserve a smack” - for effectively agreeing with his wife…

 

and all hell breaks loose.

 

no more band.

 

Brilliant.

[rwillett]

There's a common link here in your stories...

[Jackroadkill]

6 minutes ago, AndyTravis said:

Fresh one…

 

After 8 months, the self produced and recorded album is ready.

 

We played a gig on Friday, all good.

 

A well known local producer likes what we’ve played at the gig, offers to mix a track for us.

 

We said, “no the guitarist has done a great job and we’re happy”

 

”I’ll do it for nowt, see what you think?”

 

Suggestion is put to the band. On Saturday.

 

Guitarist initially says “fine by me”

 

I said I don’t see the point - but we did “spare tracks” why not send that guy one and see what he does with it; it’s free.

 

conversation continues via WhatsApp.

 

Keys player (guitarists wife) then says we’re being really unfair/unreasonable getting someone to remix the album after guitarist has put loads of hours in.

 

I agree with the sentiment, but reiterated that it’s one track - not the album.

 

Anyhow, guitarist says I “deserve a smack” - for effectively agreeing with his wife…

 

and all hell breaks loose.

 

no more band.

 

Brilliant.

 

Jeez, that's ridiculous....  Is there no chance of a reconciliation after a cool-down period, Andy?

[AndyTravis]

17 minutes ago, rwillett said:

There's a common link here in your stories...

Me. Ha.

[AndyTravis]

17 minutes ago, Jackroadkill said:

 

Jeez, that's ridiculous....  Is there no chance of a reconciliation after a cool-down period, Andy?

No, there have been battles for “control” over the last 2 years.

 

They’ve all been in a band together before I came in.

 

I write most of the ideas and then they’re developed…

 

Singer and Drummer have asked that we carry on without them and I’m in with that.

 

But I think the main error was allowing the guitarist to mix the album. He wasn’t asked to, he just sort of started doing it.

 

And the old “my precious” stuff kicked in.

 

So, listen - I’m not being threatened, can’t be arsed with that.

 

I said my piece and I’ve walked.

 

Played with a new band on Monday, might keep that going while working with singer and drummer on new stuff…

 

Or just help that band cross the line at a gig next month and refocus on my stuff with Drummer and Singer…

[Jackroadkill]

3 minutes ago, AndyTravis said:

No, there have been battles for “control” over the last 2 years.

 

They’ve all been in a band together before I came in.

 

I write most of the ideas and then they’re developed…

 

Singer and Drummer have asked that we carry on without them and I’m in with that.

 

But I think the main error was allowing the guitarist to mix the album. He wasn’t asked to, he just sort of started doing it.

 

And the old “my precious” stuff kicked in.

 

So, listen - I’m not being threatened, can’t be arsed with that.

 

I said my piece and I’ve walked.

 

Played with a new band on Monday, might keep that going while working with singer and drummer on new stuff…

 

Or just help that band cross the line at a gig next month and refocus on my stuff with Drummer and Singer…

 

That all sounds pretty sucky; best of luck with whichever the new project turns out to be, sir.

[Joe Nation]

Reading through this thread gives me the impression that most people don't get into bands with people they are actually friends with, more like people who are conventiantly situated and want to play similar music. Perhaps it's out of necessity, if you don't have any musical friends. But personally, I'd much rather be hanging out with people I like making music I don't like, than the other way around.

[SimonK]

32 minutes ago, Joe Nation said:

Reading through this thread gives me the impression that most people don't get into bands with people they are actually friends with, more like people who are conventiantly situated and want to play similar music. Perhaps it's out of necessity, if you don't have any musical friends. But personally, I'd much rather be hanging out with people I like making music I don't like, than the other way around.

 

....sounds like a lot of people's marriages as well 🙂!

 

Mind you it's easier to get a long with people when there is a common task - I get on fine with my cricket team during the cricket season, but avoid them in the off season!!

[Woodinblack]

49 minutes ago, Joe Nation said:

Reading through this thread gives me the impression that most people don't get into bands with people they are actually friends with

 

If you read the published stats you will find that obviously has to be true as most men  between 30 and 49 have 3 or fewer friends and 15% have none. If you are not living where you grew up that goes up to 1/4. Even when I was young and had quite a lot of friends, most of them were not musical at all, I certainly couldn't make a group now, even if they lived close.

 

[Lozz196]

I have a few separate groups of friends, most of which are music related but one of which none of them have any interest in music at all, other than listening to it. 

[MacDaddy]

3 hours ago, Joe Nation said:

Reading through this thread gives me the impression that most people don't get into bands with people they are actually friends with, more like people who are conventiantly situated and want to play similar music. Perhaps it's out of necessity, if you don't have any musical friends. But personally, I'd much rather be hanging out with people I like making music I don't like, than the other way around.

 

I read Keith Richards autobiography and was surprised by how the 'Stones never have been great mates. It's purely a working relationship.

[PaulWarning]

Staying  friends with band members is tough, in my experience.

 

[rwillett]

42 minutes ago, MacDaddy said:

 

I read Keith Richards autobiography and was surprised by how the 'Stones never have been great mates. It's purely a working relationship.

 

Perhaps that the secret of their success. I recall that Charlie punched Jagger in the face after he Jagger referred to him as "my drummer". Charlie said he was the Stones drummer and not Micks, and then punched him. 

 

I suppose the most famous band mates who hated each other (as far as I know) were Jack Bruce and Ginger Baker. Did one of them pull a knife on the other? Someone said the most astonishing thing about Cream was not their music, but the fact they actually made any music at all.

 

Mind you @AndyTravis is providing an awful lot of material for a book or a film.

 

Rob