MaGrOtTeN Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 Basschatters, What is a good balance between band life and living a normal life? Should it change from person to person or is there a general threshold? Things like work, relationships, sleep, and health can all suffer, but how much is too much? Also, is it foolish to be in that perpetual mind-frame of 'things are busy with the band now, but it'll soon calm down' ? Would be interested to hear your stories, such as if something triggered a re-evaluation of life priorities, or the cost of succumbing to the music-gods. Hit me with some wisdom! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CamdenRob Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 Guess it depends if the band is your main source of income... I have a career outside of music and as much as I take the music seriously, it will never be more important to me than my job. Unless it ever got to the point of paying me more than my current job, but until that point the life balence is firmly in favour of earning a living over the enjoyment I get from playing Bass. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pinball Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 It's more of a feeling of what seems right to me. I have a full time job so music is a hobby but my own guilt based restrictions are: If I'm out doing musical stuff more than a couple of nights in a row it feels wrong, same if I'm busy more than 4 times in a week However when I'm at home I just play music and write songs anyway and I sat through pretty much the whole of "Strictly come dancing" to spend some quality time with my wife I deserve to do whatever I want. Note: Am currently watching the voice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaGrOtTeN Posted February 10, 2014 Author Share Posted February 10, 2014 [quote name='Pinball' timestamp='1392027712' post='2363652'] However when I'm at home I just play music and write songs anyway and I sat through pretty much the whole of "Strictly come dancing" to spend some quality time with my wife I deserve to do whatever I want. [/quote] I tip my hat to you sir, 'Love Is...' For people who live and breathe music who have unrelated full time jobs I'd say that's a sensible limit to impose. People here in London seem to be more career orientated due to the extra difficulties associated with having hobbies here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noisyjon Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 Good topic and am keen to hear of some success & horror stories too. I am not currently gigging but want to get 'back in the saddle' ASAP and my life has changed a lot since I was last out there! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noisyjon Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 [quote name='MaGrOtTeN' timestamp='1392031601' post='2363722'] ...People here in London seem to be more career orientated due to the extra difficulties associated with having hobbies here. [/quote] That and IME I'm struggling to find people my age to join up with (mid-late 30s), they either seem to be Teenagers or late 40's and beyond! That's not a problem to me but is to them I seem to find Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discreet Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 (edited) [quote name='Noisyjon' timestamp='1392032100' post='2363731'] That's not a problem to me but is to them I seem to find [/quote] I wonder why that is? [size=4] I find older people seem to be less ageist... unless you're a teenager, of course... [/size] [size=4]Know what you mean though - younger people seem to be exclusively in metal bands and older people in Motown/Stax or Classic Rock covers bands... you have to dig a bit deeper to find anything different.[/size] Edited February 10, 2014 by discreet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noisyjon Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 [quote name='discreet' timestamp='1392033075' post='2363749'] I wonder why that is? [size=4] I find older people seem to be less ageist... unless you're a teenager, of course... [/size] [/quote] Just bad luck I guess! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Cloud Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 [quote name='MaGrOtTeN' timestamp='1392026073' post='2363629'] Basschatters, What is a good balance between band life and living a normal life? Should it change from person to person or is there a general threshold? Things like work, relationships, sleep, and health can all suffer, but how much is too much? Hit me with some wisdom! [/quote] Whats right for you? When any aspect of your life is suffering then you have an imbalance............ and then you need to re-evaluate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaGrOtTeN Posted February 10, 2014 Author Share Posted February 10, 2014 (edited) I would have the same limits as Pinball really, although I do find myself being quite tired a lot of the time due to music commitments. It's hard to objectively say when this fatigue begins to affect the aforementioned aspects of life, (in the same way that it's hard to self-judge whether or not a person drinks too much) and sometimes I wonder if I would find as much fulfilment in a less time-consuming hobby, to which I always conclude that I wouldn't.... but that may be because I don't spend enough time on other things. But I think you're right. With a clear head you should be able to see if one aspect of life is suffering due to an imbalance. It's just ironic that it's easier to judge when you have a better balance! Music must be like smoking... you have to really want to give it up before that were to happen. Edited February 10, 2014 by MaGrOtTeN Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
odysseus Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 It's going to vary massively from person to person depending on situation. I just had 5 years out of gigging due to crazy shift work. Now the shifts are more manageable and I'm gigging most weekends. Fortunately I have no wife or kids and the girlfriend lives 26 miles away and is just as busy as I am with her degree course and 8 year old twins, so there's not much pressure there - we meet up once or twice a month and that'll do us. I have to say that this situation is unusually good for me - most of my relationships have ended because I can't give the girl as much time as she wants. Things may change, but I'll deal with that if and when it occurs. Relationships aren't that much of a priority for me, but if work started hassling me to do ridiculous shifts again then that would be more likely to cause a problem bandwise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jazzyvee Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 (edited) In recent years apart occasional tours abroad I haven't had enough regular gigs on a week by week basis to find the balance a problem. These days its maybe one or two a month, although I'd like more. The times when I have had to learn a lot of music in a short period of time for session gigs have kept me out of social circulation but that isn't that often. Work wise I'm a freelancer in my day job and I have been able to negotiate terms so that I can do gigs and/or touring without affecting my clients. I have found that telling the client at the end of an interview I feel confident of, about my musical life usually pays off since they know in advance that I may have to take time out for gigging. As far as relationships go, my gf loves live music also and we support that regularly, so she is happy to come gigs especially when I'm doing something she hasn't heard before. As she lives a fair distance from me I' recently bought a bass to keep over at her place so I have it to play when I'm over there and she is doing her stuff. So I think I personally have managed to find a good balance. However I know a few of musicians who have had hard times with their partners whenever they go out gigging. in the main it's those guys who met their partner at one of their gigs and so she knows what they are like. Jazzyvee Edited February 10, 2014 by jazzyvee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrtcat Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 I have a busy work life and often work from my workshop at home on a weekend too. I gig 1-2 times a week but every penny I earn from it (after travel expenses) goes into our holiday fund pot and has therefore paid for some really great trips away with the wife including Maldives, USA, new Zealand and tons of snowboarding trips so she's really happy for me to gig. In fact if I have a gig free weekend she starts mentioning the next holiday planned to remind me I need to get out and earn for it lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cat Burrito Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 I don't think there could ever be a one size fits all answer. On reflection had I not focused on playing I'd probably be 1) further up the career ladder and 2) still married to my 1st wife. I think I have the balance about right Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jazzyvee Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 [quote name='mrtcat' timestamp='1392050535' post='2364057'] I have a busy work life and often work from my workshop at home on a weekend too. I gig 1-2 times a week but every penny I earn from it (after travel expenses) goes into our holiday fund pot and has therefore paid for some really great trips away with the wife including Maldives, USA, new Zealand and tons of snowboarding trips so she's really happy for me to gig. In fact if I have a gig free weekend she starts mentioning the next holiday planned to remind me I need to get out and earn for it lol. [/quote] Sounds like a good idea. I have used my gig money over the years to top up my funds towards new/replacement gear. But I guess I pretty much have all the gear I need now so maybe it's time to divert funds to holiday. :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheddatom Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 I hope you're not considering giving up! You're way too talented!!! You know how busy I am. I work a day job 8-6 5 days a week, and then "work" in my studio 7-10 every night. Weekends are eaten up with sessions and gigs. I have literally no time just to sit and relax and collect my thoughts, and almost no time to spend with family or significant other. It all feels incredibly stressful, but I know that as soon as I have half a day to myself I won't know what to do. I'll be sitting there on the settee, TV remote in hand, looking from the TV to my bass or guitar and back... I mean as unhealthy as it feels when you're living it, it's nothing compared to the sense of emptiness when you stop! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Damonjames Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 (edited) I also have a demanding job (I don't want to call it a career, that sounds too grown up and I am secretly hoping I can one day play full time!), am married and have two young children so bass comes third in line unfortunately. Lickily for me I have an amazing wife who understands it is important to me, and doesn't bust my balls for the amount of time I play. Usually around 2 hours a night from 9-11 (have just finished now) with one rehearsal a week and a couple of gigs a month. I would love to be involved in more music relates Projects, but that would mean compromising in my time spent on work or more importantly family so at this point in my life I am greatlfull for what I get. You will however have to work this out for yourself and what is most important and allocate time accordingly. Good luck finding the balance!!! Edited February 10, 2014 by Damonjames Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dand666 Posted February 11, 2014 Share Posted February 11, 2014 It's hard for me right now, I currently have a full time job after graduating and have my own home with a partner of 8 years. However my function band is gaining more and more gigs and are practically playing every weekend (weddings, events e.t.c). It's getting hard to balance my life at the moment, learning 2 songs a week, rehearsing once a week and gigging once/twice a week! We've been offered cruise work for late this year/early next year but I'm going to find it tough giving up a full time, safe job, for possible a 6/8 month contract away and not get any more. Some days I think is it all worth it, but the minute I'm on stage this all changes and I wouldn't want to be anywhere else in the world. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adrenochrome Posted February 11, 2014 Share Posted February 11, 2014 10+ years ago I viewed success as "as many gigs as possible". Gigging was more profitable then which may have had something to do with it. Now we try only play venues that suit us, which means about 3-4 gigs a month on average. We get better audience reactions on average. I think having band members with similar circumstances tends to work - eg us all with families - rather than being the same age. A band of single people might have more spare cash and want to socialise more, go to other gigs together more etc etc. I limit my playing at home to what I need to do - I never overpractice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaGrOtTeN Posted February 11, 2014 Author Share Posted February 11, 2014 Very insightful feedback there.... can't help but wonder how many of you are Librans Efficiency is the key it seems. [quote name='BurritoBass' timestamp='1392050867' post='2364064'] On reflection had I not focused on playing I'd probably be 1) further up the career ladder and 2) still married to my 1st wife. I think I have the balance about right [/quote] Oxford English definition of a musician right there.... [quote name='cheddatom' timestamp='1392051116' post='2364072'] You know how busy I am. I work a day job 8-6 5 days a week, and then "work" in my studio 7-10 every night. Weekends are eaten up with sessions and gigs. I have literally no time just to sit and relax and collect my thoughts, and almost no time to spend with family or significant other. [/quote] I really admire your productivity... 'behind every great man' ... [quote name='dand666' timestamp='1392112398' post='2364705'] We've been offered cruise work for late this year/early next year but I'm going to find it tough giving up a full time, safe job, for possible a 6/8 month contract away and not get any more. [/quote] That's a tough decision... risk could pay off but it's quite a long time to be at sea, especially if you somewhat like your current job. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dand666 Posted February 11, 2014 Share Posted February 11, 2014 (edited) [quote name='MaGrOtTeN' timestamp='1392115485' post='2364756'] Very insightful feedback there.... can't help but wonder how many of you are Librans Efficiency is the key it seems. Oxford English definition of a musician right there.... I really admire your productivity... 'behind every great man' ... That's a tough decision... risk could pay off but it's quite a long time to be at sea, especially if you somewhat like your current job. [/quote] Your right it is. But it's something not only myself has put a lot of hard work into. And I would not like too say no, and have them go through the nightmare of getting a new bassist to learn over 200 songs. I think I am going to go for it, it'll just be a scary couple of months/years. I'll hate myself if I don't give myself the chance. At least I can say I gave it a shot. Edited February 11, 2014 by dand666 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dand666 Posted February 11, 2014 Share Posted February 11, 2014 [quote name='cheddatom' timestamp='1392051116' post='2364072'] I hope you're not considering giving up! You're way too talented!!! You know how busy I am. I work a day job 8-6 5 days a week, and then "work" in my studio 7-10 every night. Weekends are eaten up with sessions and gigs. I have literally no time just to sit and relax and collect my thoughts, and almost no time to spend with family or significant other. It all feels incredibly stressful, but I know that as soon as I have half a day to myself I won't know what to do. I'll be sitting there on the settee, TV remote in hand, looking from the TV to my bass or guitar and back... I mean as unhealthy as it feels when you're living it, it's nothing compared to the sense of emptiness when you stop! [/quote] Kudos to this man. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaGrOtTeN Posted February 11, 2014 Author Share Posted February 11, 2014 [quote name='dand666' timestamp='1392120161' post='2364843'] Your right it is. But it's something not only myself has put a lot of hard work into. And I would not like too say no, and have them go through the nightmare of getting a new bassist to learn over 200 songs. I think I am going to go for it, it'll just be a scary couple of months/years. I'll hate myself if I don't give myself the chance. At least I can say I gave it a shot. [/quote] Well said... Go for it, Band of Brothers style Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lojo Posted February 11, 2014 Share Posted February 11, 2014 anyone who is on bass chat at 12:27 during a weekday has got the balance wrong Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dand666 Posted February 11, 2014 Share Posted February 11, 2014 [quote name='lojo' timestamp='1392121698' post='2364892'] anyone who is on bass chat at 12:27 during a weekday has got the balance wrong [/quote] Lol, work is slow... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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