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No Time Wasters


Phil Starr
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It's kinda the muso equivalent of the "Baby on board" sign, isn't it?

"Oh, well I WAS thinking of crashing into your car just for the fun of it. However, now I know that there is a young child in there I'll go and find someone else to randomly crash into for fun..."

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Maybe the wording of "No timewasters" is a bit blunt but you get all sorts of people come out of the woodwork when you advertise and I think it's generally wise to state that you want someone who is seriously interested in committing to everything that is part and parcel of being in a band.

The reason I wouldn't respond to the advert in th OP is because it's a lazy advert. If I was trying to attract a high standard player to join a band I'd make sure that my advert was informative, professional and above all showed that the band is serious. If I was looking to join a band I'd need more than "we're brilliant so you'd better be too" to spark my enthusiasm.

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In answer to the OP..as haven't been able to read the other replies as yet... is that the reason ppl waste time is because the
initial Ad isn't defined enough.

When I look at players, there is going to be a hierachy... and there is no escaping that, and unless you can filter off the enquiries,
there will be mismacthes.

I recently had a band unit with everyone recommended for the gig...but it didn't work. The players were of the right standard so it was
clearly at what point you call time on it...and for what reason.
As it happened two guys said they were 'too busy' and called it off...which saved me the job of having to do that.
Now...I kind of knew the outcome before we went in and I was right, IMO... but out of courtesy to some people we went ahead.
I'll probably do other gigs with them..if a band leader calls us at some point, ... but I know it will not work.

That wasn't a waste of time... but agree if someone is oblivious to their ability and how it stands up in the grand local pool of talent, then yes...
but then you should call it and shut down the 'audition' after 15 mins..???

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[quote name='ambient' timestamp='1443791131' post='2877739']
I have a particular dislike for it I once played for a classic rock band, you stand there [b]playing root 8th notes[/b] while the 2 guitarists take turns in soloing and pulling funny faces.
[/quote]

I think you picked the wrong classic rock tracks to cover ;)

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The practicalities are the same whatever. None of us sees ourselves as timewasters. As you say there are a lot of delusional people out there and I'm sure I'm as guilty as anyone. Half the world thinks they are better than they really are whilst the other half think they are pretty much rubbish. So the 'timewasters turn up and the perfect fit stays at home rather than waste your time because they don't think they'll pass muster.

So, yes word your ad carefully, talk to people before auditioning to weed out the ones who just won't fit. Ask about who they've played with before, how often they've gigged or whatever else is important to you. Someone with no recordings of themselves in a band clearly haven't been gigging long for example. We always give a list of a wide range of songs for example, we aim for some songs they are unlikely to have learned, so the person too lazy or casual to have practised at home will show up straight away.

In the end though you are dealing with people, with all the quirks and inadequacies we all share one way or another. Frankly if you decide half of humanity is just there to frustrate you before you start then I don't want to meet you, never mind share a rehearsal room. 'No timewasters' just says BEWARE, big ego, I always want my own way, to me.

Any musician auditioning is also auditioning you, the reason they give for not wanting to continue might just be them being polite.

Edited by Phil Starr
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It wouldn't put me off, though I take the point that it probably wouldn't register at all with actual time wasting fantasists, they'd turn up anyway. It's a bit like putting something up for sale and requesting 'no tyre kickers' I guess.

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In truth, there is so much wrong with so many of these adverts that it is actually a bit pointless fixating on just one phrase.

I just spent three (count them, three) minutes on Gumtree and came up with any number of downright foolish adverts. Try this one:

https://www.gumtree.com/p/other-musicians-wanted/bass-player-urgently-wanted-for-live-show-the-garage/1135985303

Now these people are probably absolutely straight, nice people, good musicians. I wouldn't know. How can you tell?

Apart from the venue and the date, there is literally NO information. I don't know what the line up is, what sort of music they play, whether they're any good, is money involved at all, where and when they want to rehearse, etc. etc. etc.

And all that for a one-off dep role for their "main bassist" (they operate a roster system?).

Who in their right mind would waste their time replying to that advert, and how could any reply NOT be a time waster?

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[quote name='Rich' timestamp='1443782286' post='2877624']
Likewise. Many years ago I advertised myself as looking for an instrumental jazz/funk band, and the first call I got was from a bunch whose major influence was The Smiths. :blink:
[/quote]

I can't think of a better candidate for an instrumental band than The Smiths.

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[quote name='ambient' timestamp='1443791131' post='2877739']
I have a particular dislike for it I once played for a classic rock band, you stand there playing root 8th notes while the 2 guitarists take turns in soloing and pulling funny faces.
[/quote]

Yes, that's what I hate about playing The Who, Cream, and Free covers.

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[quote name='tauzero' timestamp='1443806875' post='2877922']


Yes, that's what I hate about playing The Who, Cream, and Free covers.
[/quote]

They're not really your typical classic rock though are they ?

I'm thinking ZZ yawn, sorry micro sleep there Top, and the like. Great fun no doubt for the guitarists involved, I personally hated my brief encounter with it, and wouldn't bother going to watch that kind of band. It's not I have to say, something that I listen to.

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[quote name='ambient' timestamp='1443807615' post='2877932']
They're not really your typical classic rock though are they ?

I'm thinking ZZ yawn, sorry micro sleep there Top, and the like. Great fun no doubt for the guitarists involved, I personally hated my brief encounter with it, and wouldn't bother going to watch that kind of band. It's not I have to say, something that I listen to.
[/quote]

In the classic rock covers bands I've played in, I've done plenty of Who, Cream, Free, and other assorted bands with interesting bass lines, and a few with root 8ths (not many though). Thankfully, I've never had to play ZZ Top's song.

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There has been an add in Guitar and Bass mag for a while that makes me want to be mischievous....it is pretty much "Bass player wanted for rock band must be over 22 years old and HAVE LONG BROWN HAIR" I mean WTF I am so tempted to find a photo of a beautiful naked blonde lady playing bass and send it to them saying....really wanted to apply but hair is wrong colour..sorry goodbye...sadly as yet I have been unable to find said photo to allow me to carry out my evil plan :yarr:

Edited by Roger2611
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[quote name='Happy Jack' timestamp='1443796429' post='2877801']
In truth, there is so much wrong with so many of these adverts that it is actually a bit pointless fixating on just one phrase.

I just spent three (count them, three) minutes on Gumtree and came up with any number of downright foolish adverts. Try this one:

[url="https://www.gumtree.com/p/other-musicians-wanted/bass-player-urgently-wanted-for-live-show-the-garage/1135985303"]https://www.gumtree....rage/1135985303[/url]

Now these people are probably absolutely straight, nice people, good musicians. I wouldn't know. How can you tell?

Apart from the venue and the date, there is literally NO information. I don't know what the line up is, what sort of music they play, whether they're any good, is money involved at all, where and when they want to rehearse, etc. etc. etc.

And all that for a one-off dep role for their "main bassist" (they operate a roster system?).

Who in their right mind would waste their time replying to that advert, and how could any reply NOT be a time waster?
[/quote]

Having identified the band from the ad, looked and listened to their website I don't think that this 66yo fat git would waste their or his time applying.

Sorry guys.

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