Cameronj279 Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 So following on from the recent 'glad I'm not sensitive' thread I've noticed a recurring theme where so many people seem to be in bands where other members cannot take constructive criticism or don't appreciate the role of every band member. I guess I'm lucky that in the band I'm in we've all agreed to be 100% honest when it comes to any issues we may have (generally when writing new songs) and we all take and give criticism with no hard feelings. I suppose none of us having an ego is a big help with that. My main question is just why do people stay in bands with people who don't seem to be worth the time and effort? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Jack Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 I find that hard to answer because, in the main, I just don't do that. I'm in the happy position of being able to do this purely for fun. If it ain't fun, I don't do it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discreet Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 (edited) You could just as well ask, 'Why do people stay in relationships with people who don't seem to be worth the time and effort?', to which the answer in a lot of cases is, 'Inertia'. People find it hard to climb out of their ruts, or perhaps they don't want to because they're afraid that what they're getting into will be worse and/or more scary than their current situation. These are the very people who watch 'Hitler's UFO Nazi Mega-Dinosaurs' on cable TV, so I have no sympathy for them whatsoever. Edited August 17, 2015 by discreet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Sausage Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 [quote name='Cameronj279' timestamp='1439830754' post='2846097'] So following on from the recent 'glad I'm not sensitive' thread I've noticed a recurring theme where so many people seem to be in bands where other members cannot take constructive criticism or don't appreciate the role of every band member. I guess I'm lucky that in the band I'm in we've all agreed to be 100% honest when it comes to any issues we may have (generally when writing new songs) and we all take and give criticism with no hard feelings. I suppose none of us having an ego is a big help with that. My main question is just why do people stay in bands with people who don't seem to be worth the time and effort? [/quote] Because i plan to kill them off one at a time over a couple of years! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul S Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 [quote name='discreet' timestamp='1439832684' post='2846114'] These are the very people who watch 'Hitler's UFO Nazi Mega-Dinosaurs' on cable TV [/quote] Series 3 was my favourite... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BottomE Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 Lack of options? Loyalty? Misguided belief that it will get better? Could be a million reasons. Its a really good idea to flesh out what each members notion of commitment and direction for the band will be before getting involved in musical endeavours. Otherwise start your own band on the condition that you are the all powerful and everyone must obey. Good luck with that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Jack Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 [URL=http://s1128.photobucket.com/user/h4ppyjack/media/Just%20Stuff/Sundry/WorstNightmare_zps719e7cfd.jpg.html][IMG]http://i1128.photobucket.com/albums/m496/h4ppyjack/Just%20Stuff/Sundry/WorstNightmare_zps719e7cfd.jpg[/IMG][/URL] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimR Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 You don't join a band like that. Over time people get 'comfortable' and band dynamics change. People leave and new people arrive. It creeps up on you. Then one day you've had enough and walk away. I think a lot of the posts might be from people just before they hit what they think might be the 'self destruct button' but is really the 'emergency ejector seat button' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaulWarning Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 because until the bad out weighs the good it's worth while sticking with it, having said that we've all got our faults, what are the other band members saying about you? As for being honest with each other, there was a programme on TV recently about bands splitting up and one commentator said "The trouble is band members never ever sit down and discuss problems it just festers away until something gives" this has been the case in my experience Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discreet Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 [quote name='TimR' timestamp='1439836418' post='2846155'] You don't join a band like that. [/quote] Ideally yes, but if you don't know the other members already it's going to take a while to find out what they're like. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimR Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 [quote name='discreet' timestamp='1439838797' post='2846178'] Ideally yes, but if you don't know the other members already it's going to take a while to find out what they're like. [/quote] Yes. That's the people getting comfortable bit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discreet Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 (edited) [quote name='Happy Jack' timestamp='1439835901' post='2846149'] [url="http://s1128.photobucket.com/user/h4ppyjack/media/Just%20Stuff/Sundry/WorstNightmare_zps719e7cfd.jpg.html"][/url] [/quote] Aggghh! It's one of Hitler's UFO Marine-Krieg Nazi Mega-Shark-Dinosaurs with an RPG!! RUN!! ...Or rather, SWIM!! Edited August 17, 2015 by discreet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
merlin Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 some weeks I hate the ground my band mates walk on,but then I love them to bits,strange situation,but that's just me,would not want to be in any other band. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RAY AGAINST THE MACHINE Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 [quote name='Happy Jack' timestamp='1439835901' post='2846149'] [URL=http://s1128.photobucket.com/user/h4ppyjack/media/Just%20Stuff/Sundry/WorstNightmare_zps719e7cfd.jpg.html][IMG]http://i1128.photobucket.com/albums/m496/h4ppyjack/Just%20Stuff/Sundry/WorstNightmare_zps719e7cfd.jpg[/IMG][/URL] [/quote] If I ever join another band, this would be it . Very Ronnie James dio Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neepheid Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 If I stop having fun, or fundamentally disagree with how it's being run, or even if I feel I can't put enough into it then I'm off. I have I don't just jump into the first band that offers me a gig either. If it feels wrong, walk away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bilbo Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 It is a very simple issue wrapped up in a difficult one. It is always best to play with people you respect and who respect you. I always appreciate players who can offer and accept constructive criticism and recognise that references to an indivduals strengths and weaknesses as a player is not the same as a reference to their worth as a colleague and a human being and is designed to improve the music. When I started doing my Jazz East thing in Felixstowe, I took a conscious decision to put together a stable' of rhythm section players who were up to the task of performaing with some of the UK's top Jazz musicians. If I book a player like Simon Spillett or Gilad Atzmon, I need someone who can play creatively at fast tempos. If I book someone like John Etheridge, I need people who can play rock grooves as well as Jazz and so on. Some swing players cannot play Latin grooves and so on. As a result, I had to sideline players who I would book anytime for any other kind of gig. I have had approaches from musicians I really respect who I have had to say no to even though I like their playing (e.g. rock/funk/fusion players who play a 'bit of Jazz' are never going to cut it in this environment). I have had some players who respond positively and acknowledge the agenda and others who get the hump and 'never speak to me again'. It is a shame but, if you want to set a standard, you have to gatekeep the players or that standard will slip. A lot of local Jazz players/singers approach me looking for a gig but they aren't good enough. Telling them is difficult because few people want to hear that they are 'not ready' or not good enough*. I think a lot of musicians do approach delusional when it comes to their own abilities, myself included. Being confronted by the reality is a bit scary sometimes. PS For the record, I am not 'good enough' sometimes but I have the advantage of being cost neutral!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anaxcrosswords Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 [quote name='PaulWarning' timestamp='1439836786' post='2846159'] The trouble is band members never ever sit down and discuss problems" [/quote] Spot on. There were never personal differences in my band, but there were lots of areas that needed improvement. There was also much talk – for a year or two – of a band night out where we could thrash out ideas. It never happened and I left because I realised it never would. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bassjon Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 ^ I agree. I'm on the other side of the fence here - if I sense the band isn't quite right (which is 8 out of 10 times) I will just pack up, leave and never go back. Now I'm a full time pro so it worked for me! Don't accept crap, people! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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