RockfordStone Posted October 26, 2014 Share Posted October 26, 2014 the guitarist and i are good friends and have been in several bands together over the years. i have been in bands with people that i am not friends with, and bands with people i remain to be friends with.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RhysP Posted October 26, 2014 Share Posted October 26, 2014 [quote name='leschirons' timestamp='1414272865' post='2587863'] I wouldn't be in a band or spend time with anyone I hated anyway, in any situation, so all people I know are either acquaintances, or friends. [/quote] You get to choose who you work with? Lucky old you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leschirons Posted October 26, 2014 Share Posted October 26, 2014 [quote name='RhysP' timestamp='1414334567' post='2588326'] You get to choose who you work with? Lucky old you. [/quote] Yup, except on deps but even then, I don't do this for the money primarily so can still say no if I know there's someone in a band that I don't like. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FinnDave Posted October 26, 2014 Share Posted October 26, 2014 My band mates are the most important people in my life after my wife and daughters. How could I share something as intimate as making music with people without caring about them as people? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Jack Posted October 27, 2014 Share Posted October 27, 2014 (edited) [quote name='blue' timestamp='1414309064' post='2587977'] You know, tonight proves were not friends. The band has been together for 9 years.I have been with them for 3 and we have a new drummer. Tonight I noticed that we did not even speak or interact with each other until we started our first set at 9:00. It was a 9:00 till 1:00 with two 15 minute breaks. I guess those hours are unheard of for UK bar bands. Blue [/quote] We gigged on Friday and Saturday nights this weekend. Friday could have been a good night to not interact seeing as there was an atmosphere following a stroppy email I'd sent that afternoon (subject not relevant to this). In practice, we had six people arriving in three vehicles (and a bus) to do a load-in to a small venue and then a complicated set-up. I simply can't imagine how any band could manage that without the need to "speak or interact with each other". There were a couple of awkward silences, but any interested on-looker would have seen a bunch of friends chatting and exchanging banter as they got themselves ready to play. Edited October 27, 2014 by Happy Jack Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimR Posted October 27, 2014 Share Posted October 27, 2014 [quote name='Happy Jack' timestamp='1414402831' post='2588853'] ... [/quote] I helped put together a startup band in 1996. At our first gig the singer got us all (9 of us) in a huddle, and gave us all a pep talk. It was really good and we played out of our skins from the first note. I've always thought that any band should do this prior to going on. Even if it's outside in the car park. It does being everyone together and make it feel like you're in a team. Rather than just each person ambling onto the stage. Probably helps to break down any unfriendliness. It's a bit American though... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seashell Posted October 27, 2014 Share Posted October 27, 2014 [quote name='TimR' timestamp='1414407019' post='2588905'] I helped put together a startup band in 1996. At our first gig the singer got us all (9 of us) in a huddle, and gave us all a pep talk. It was really good and we played out of our skins from the first note. I've always thought that any band should do this prior to going on. Even if it's outside in the car park. It does being everyone together and make it feel like you're in a team. Rather than just each person ambling onto the stage. Probably helps to break down any unfriendliness. It's a bit American though... [/quote] This sounds good to me, and just the kind of thing that would happen with 'luvvies' prior to going on stage for a play. What I'm finding with the band though, is that we don't have a leader as such so there is no-one to 'call' this (in the way a theatre director would). I would feel a bit of a berk suggesting it myself, and they probably wouldn't listen to me anyway. I feel like the Band Fuss-Pot at times Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimR Posted October 27, 2014 Share Posted October 27, 2014 Yes. You and me both. I suppose it only takes one person to suggest it (only an idea) and if the others agree the singer will probably 'lead' it. If everyone just laughs, it's no great shakes. Depends what the gig is I suppose. I know Jackson and Madonna used to do it. But they were shows. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CHW Posted October 27, 2014 Share Posted October 27, 2014 I'm kind of in 2 bands- one gigging, the other in redevelopment following a member departure.. In the gigging band the other guys have known each other for 30+ years and are genuinely friends who meet up outside of the band and know each other really well.. I am kind of an outsider and although I'm friendly with them all I'd consider none of them friends. The other band formed as a result of a guy I knew from work, who I was friendly with, getting together to play a bit, realising we had something pretty good, and developing it from there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Dean Posted October 27, 2014 Share Posted October 27, 2014 I'd like to think I was friends ... Except the Keyboard player keeps coming into my shop & talking about the band , I've probably asked him over 30 times now that I have to keep the two separate band/work . He says he gets board but then again he refuses to go out & get gigs .........I'm about to pull his head off...then sack him . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iain Posted October 27, 2014 Share Posted October 27, 2014 I'd guess it depends on what the band is there for. Mine's a hobby band. We play covers that we like. If it's fun none of us would do it and the band atmosphere is key to that. Practice, gig, social - all got to be fun. Not all the time - we all have off days but mostly. We spent a weekend away together recently - singer's stag do - and it was great - eating, drinking, shooting (clays). We're all (barring the new drummer we brought in last week) off to his wedding this weekend. I guess if you're in a 'working' band then it's different - you have to pay the bills so you bring your game face to rehearsal and gig and don't rock the boat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blue Posted October 27, 2014 Author Share Posted October 27, 2014 (edited) I think we have a little distance between us. I started playing gigs back in 1966 in Jersey and except for the drummer the other members started playing their guitars later in life. I'm a Jersey "know it all" with a lot of opinions based on my rather long gigging band history. Maybe my ideas might be dated, but I keep quiet. I know my ideas will not be taken seriously. Blue Edited October 27, 2014 by blue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marlborored Posted October 27, 2014 Share Posted October 27, 2014 In the 4 piece I'm in I am very close friends with 2 of the band (sadly one of them is the lead guitarist) and the other I have also known for 5 years or so. I think being friends with bandmembers like many things has its up and downsides. It makes organising practices easier, choosing songs, and being more open with our own written material is also easier and it helps to gain exposure and get people involved and to come to gigs if all of the band are moving in more or less the same social circles and groups outside of the band. However when you're close friends with those in the band it does make it much harder to tell someone they're being dick, or not playing something quite right or even if it comes to it; kicking a close friend out of a band is a tricky situation as it can cock up social lives etc; whereas kicking someone out of a band who you're not mates with is far less likely to tear friendships or groups apart. (All IMO and IME of course, I could be very wrong) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paul_5 Posted October 27, 2014 Share Posted October 27, 2014 I'm fast approaching 40 and on my second rehearsal with my current band (1 year in) we were all taking the piss out of each other like we'd always playd together. In short the answer is yes. If any of us needed anything, music related or not, then they'd be among the first people I'd call. Actually, they'd probably offer to help evn before being asked - it's all very philanthropic at Slander HQ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
martin8708 Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 Ideally , the best band would be great , talented musicians who were friendly and easy going . I've played in bands where the musicianship was great , but you could cut the atmosphere with a knife . Current band is kind of opposite , really nice guys , very sociable , but the drummer insists on beating the sh+t out of his kit , and the guitarist needs to acquaint himself with his tuner , so rehearsal is more sociable than musical . Thankfully , I remain on good terms with previous bands I've been in , so the odd short-notice gig still pops up . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UglyDog Posted November 10, 2014 Share Posted November 10, 2014 [quote name='FinnDave' timestamp='1414336359' post='2588354'] How could I share something as intimate as making music with people without caring about them as people? [/quote] This. My bandmates are my bestmates. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muzz Posted November 10, 2014 Share Posted November 10, 2014 The originals band is 4 guys who've known each other for 30 years, and played in various bands in various combinations over that time; we socialise (as far as that happens these days) together outside the band, and always go for a drink when it's possible. The function band is (mostly) two of us from the originals band and a series of deps so it's not as close, but some of the deps have been playing for 4 or 5 years, so although we don't socialise outside the band as a group, we still spend 5-6 hours in each other's company of a weekend, and the road trips across the country in the van are a great bonding experience. Especially in our van: the phrase 'united in adversity' is very apt... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamesBass Posted November 10, 2014 Share Posted November 10, 2014 My new Uni band was something that was thrown together by our lecturers for our first gig and while I am one of only 3 bass players between 6 bands, we were given 2 bands each and for me one of my bands felt like I'd been with them for decades and the drummer and I in specific really hit it off and grooved from the first note, the other band was stupidly hard work and has resulted in me leaving that one for a different band as the clash of personalities was just huge! The drummer was very much a straight hitting guy who can't groove much at all, the guitarist, who is a mature student, was stuck in his 80s rock hay day and has very little experience away from that sort of thing. But the band with the good drummer has now sat down and we've decided to take ourselves seriously and look to get paid gigs outside of uni and stick together for a minimum of a 2 years to see where we can go as everything we've done to date has sounded awesome and everyone has become very good friends. I myself am already very close with the drummer, even if he lives a 2-3 hour round trip away by car. I'm also very close with the female vocals we have in the band and can't see myself ever not enjoying working with these guys or at the very least not remaining in contact and working together whenever possible! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JTUK Posted November 10, 2014 Share Posted November 10, 2014 I never get too close to people in a band as it can turn sour quite quickly. The longer you are together, the more little thinsg crop up that you have to deal with and it is a shame if you fall out because of the little things that build and build. I take each band as it comes and work with it until it doesn't work anymore. I'll forgive a lot for musical chemistry but the get everything right is a very rare occasion indeed, IME. That is why money is a good driver..it focuses people a bit better and you have to accept a degree of compromise...upto a point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peteb Posted November 10, 2014 Share Posted November 10, 2014 I am pretty friendly with all of the people that I play with and we quite often socialise outside of band stuff. They may not necessarily be my best mates, but we are certainly friends. Up until a couple of years ago I was playing in a band of really close mates with no major problems – we are all still pretty close even though the band has packed up, just as we were before it came together. I have played with people that I don’t like in the past but I refuse to do so now, life’s too short… I have always thought that being sociable was an essential part of being a musician. If you are going to do any sort of touring then you are going to be sharing rooms and pretty much living in each other’s pockets for a period of time, so you had better be able to get along with each other and put up with each other’s little eccentricities. There are plenty of great players around but someone would have to be pretty special indeed to get a gig if no one in the band can stand to spend time with them… Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blue Posted November 11, 2014 Author Share Posted November 11, 2014 I would say we work well together, most of the band members are in their 60s, so we all have well established social lives outside of the band. I think if we were friends it would be harder to get along the way we do. It's a business. Now when I was younger, in my teens 20s & 30s I was probably friends with band members back then, I really think the friends thing works better with younger musicians unless your playing with guys you've known for 40 years. By the way, if you watched us at a gig you would think we were all best friends. Blue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peteb Posted November 11, 2014 Share Posted November 11, 2014 (edited) [quote name='blue' timestamp='1415728525' post='2603160'] I think if we were friends it would be harder to get along the way we do. It's a business. Now when I was younger, in my teens 20s & 30s I was probably friends with band members back then, I really think the friends thing works better with younger musicians unless your playing with guys you've known for 40 years. [/quote] Funnily enough, it's been the opposite for me. When I was younger and had higher ambitions I treated it like a business and I didn't care so much if I liked everyone I played with as long as the band was putting itself in a position to have a shot at some kind of success. Now I'm older I can't be bothered with people I don't like and wouldn't play with someone I thought was a d1ck, no matter how good he was! This is especially true for the rock band that mainly plays local pubs. If I got the opportunity for a band that was travelling more & playing bigger gigs then it would not be such an issue, but I still wouldn't play with someone I didn't like... Edited November 11, 2014 by peteb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blue Posted November 11, 2014 Author Share Posted November 11, 2014 [quote name='peteb' timestamp='1415733662' post='2603233'] Funnily enough, it's been the opposite for me. When I was younger and had higher ambitions I treated it like a business and I didn't care so much if I liked everyone I played with as long as the band was putting itself in a position to have a shot at some kind of success. Now I'm older I can't be bothered with people I don't like [/quote] I don't think were that far apart. I like everyone in my band. Good people is a must have for me. However were not friends. Blue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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