markstuk Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 I always find my wife is supportive in inverse proportion to the number and attractiveness of women in the band I'm playing in :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xilddx Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 [quote name='woodyratm' timestamp='1317572054' post='1391868'] Hey guys - i know this thread has been a million times but would be nice to get some personal advice. I've been playing in my current band for ages. But we only starting gigging about a year ago. The singer/guitarist/synth player said he wanted a change and he wasnt enjoying it etc. So we took a break in June, got a new singer and planned a different style. We've rijigged one song and its sounding decent and interesting. But now everytime we try and get something together (a simple practice) but now the guitarist is saying he can't afford practice because of his new flat. This is odd to me since he's paying sod all mortgage (compared to me) and i still made gigs/practice when i got my place. But it just seems he's not wanting to do this now.. His girlfriend is also causing issues - says she hates the band because we take him away from her (bunny boiler much?) so we're thinking shes finally got to him. If Foxdie's dead in the water i'd probs sell 90% of my stuff and do a less fx'y band Anyone got any thoughts? [/quote] Get a new guitarist. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hobbayne Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 I'm off too! Been stuck in this band for 8 years now. Got the worlds worst drummer. In fact the first time I played with him, I thought he was mucking about during the end of 'Dance the night away' and the singer who insists on playing guitar, doesnt know how to tune it, and just plugs in and plays without adjusting anything! full on on reverb and played very loud out of tune with frequent wrong chords. Why do I stay? Because its regular work, playing nearly every week and over new year too. But enough is enough, I,ve got an audition with a blues/Rock band next week!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acebassmusic Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 [quote name='mikegatward' timestamp='1317626629' post='1392348'] Top of the list for things you need to be in a band is: Number 1 - a supportive partner End of. You can always borrow gear :-) [/quote] +1000.......and I'm really lucky to have one (She even encourages me to buy gear!!!!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JTUK Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 He is not that into you..... move on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BottomE Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 Floggin the proverbial dead horse. In truth you probably know that anyway. Get out and find some more like minded souls.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheddatom Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 I don't get why people stick with over bearing girlfriends? I've been in a few bands, the members have often had girlfriends, and it's never been a problem. I've been living with my girlfriend for 5 years but if she ever asked me to cancel a practise or a gig or something i'd be gone! Is it that some people just want to be controlled? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rOB Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 [quote name='gerryc' timestamp='1317579472' post='1391993'] If you have to go take the drummer with you. [/quote] My 2p worth would be to have a very honest discussion first thing. Say that if his heart isn't in it (or is getting bad enough earache to mean the same thing) then it isn't good for him or you. He might change his tune, he might not but you've told him how you feel. If nothing changes then take the drummer (or get playing with the other one you mention) and set up your own thing. There are plenty of guitarists around and if you do the recruiting then you can be sure that they have similar tastes/skill/commitment before you get them in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rOB Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 (edited) [quote name='cheddatom' timestamp='1317720146' post='1393575'] I don't get why people stick with over bearing girlfriends? I've been in a few bands, the members have often had girlfriends, and it's never been a problem. I've been living with my girlfriend for 5 years but [b]if she ever asked me to cancel a practise or a gig or something i'd be gone![/b] Is it that some people just want to be controlled? [/quote] I don't get it either. Why would a partner who loves you ask you to stop doing something that you enjoy? The lady I share my life with would never do that and I would never ask it of her. Perhaps an element of balance is required in some relationships but to stop all together? A bit OT perhaps but what really confuses me is people who say their partner [b]won't let them [/b]do something? Are we grownups with partners or children with parents? Isn't the clue in the word [b]partner[/b]? Edited October 4, 2011 by rOB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigRedX Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 [quote name='cheddatom' timestamp='1317720146' post='1393575'] I don't get why people stick with over bearing girlfriends? I've been in a few bands, the members have often had girlfriends, and it's never been a problem. I've been living with my girlfriend for 5 years but if she ever asked me to cancel a practise or a gig or something i'd be gone! Is it that some people just want to be controlled? [/quote] Sex? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheddatom Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 [quote name='BigRedX' timestamp='1317725853' post='1393653'] Sex? [/quote] It's not that hard to come by surely? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thunderbird13 Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 [quote name='cheddatom' timestamp='1317725953' post='1393654'] It's not that hard to come by surely? [/quote] It is if your a middle aged balding bassist Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Vader Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 [quote name='cheddatom' timestamp='1317725953' post='1393654'] It's not that hard to come by surely? [/quote] Disappointing fumbles are easy to come by, but a truly excellent lass that knows exactly what she's doing is a rare beasty and worth hanging on to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johngh Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 [quote name='Linus27' timestamp='1317574232' post='1391907']I think you need to sit down and say to the guitarist are you in or out? If he can't make practises, gigs etc then why should he be allowed to stay in the band. If I can't make it to work then why should I still remain employed. No difference here. Either got shot of the guitarist if he won't commit or find a new band.[/quote] 100% correct, he's either got to commit or leave. If it ends up too much hassle then find another band yourself. If she's kicking off now just imagine what she will be like once you get regular gigs rolling in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thepurpleblob Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 Seen it before... low-self-esteem partner assumes that the only reason you would be in a band is to 'pull' therefore you can't be in a band. It's somewhere between tricky and impossible to deal with, unfortunately. If you really want to cause trouble recruit (in a highly sexist way) recruit a good looking, female band member and see how much trouble that causes I'm lucky, my wife loves me being in a band as it gives her an excuse to go out and get steaming drunk. This is Scotland though !!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slipperydick Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 Get shot of him, or leave. Lifes too short, and you end up regretting what you didnt do / change more than what you did. Take it from an old fogey who had similar problems years ago. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheddatom Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 [quote name='Dave Vader' timestamp='1317726348' post='1393666'] Disappointing fumbles are easy to come by, but a truly excellent lass that knows exactly what she's doing is a rare beasty and worth hanging on to. [/quote] I'd rather choose a partner based on personality, than bedroom ability. You can always learn but you can never stop being a bunny boiler! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Vader Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 [quote name='cheddatom' timestamp='1317731407' post='1393761'] I'd rather choose a partner based on personality, than bedroom ability. You can always learn but you can never stop being a bunny boiler! [/quote] No, you are wrong. It's more important to be compatible in a bedroomy way than to actually like each other.* *this might be a total lie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seashell Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 [quote name='cheddatom' timestamp='1317731407' post='1393761'] I'd rather choose a partner based on personality, than bedroom ability. [/quote] Glad to see this sensible comment before I went off on one! I was just about to get into a Feminist Frenzy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheddatom Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 [quote name='seashell' timestamp='1317744354' post='1394041'] Glad to see this sensible comment before I went off on one! I was just about to get into a Feminist Frenzy [/quote] my second sentence was flippant but I was even a little hesitant at that. If my mother ever saw this type of talk she'd flip out! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seashell Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 [quote name='cheddatom' timestamp='1317744434' post='1394042'] my second sentence was flippant but I was even a little hesitant at that. If my mother ever saw this type of talk she'd flip out! [/quote] Its' OK, I'm not really offended by flippancy. I'm hoping Dave Vader's comment was flippant as well Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Vader Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 [quote name='seashell' timestamp='1317745748' post='1394065'] Its' OK, I'm not really offended by flippancy. I'm hoping Dave Vader's comment was flippant as well [/quote] Semi-flippant, and more compatibility than just ability. Ends badly if not. (I was in fact quoting my wife, who insists she only married me for... well you know) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seashell Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 [quote name='Dave Vader' timestamp='1317809111' post='1394732'] Semi-flippant, and more compatibility than just ability. Ends badly if not. [/quote] Hmm, think I might agree with you there (Bitterly reflecting on past experience). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woodyratm Posted October 5, 2011 Author Share Posted October 5, 2011 Hah i like how this topic has decended! But on another note - I got a call from the guitarist last night (Since i'm in freaking london still...) - He'd spoken to the drummer (who let slip my fears hah) and wanted to confirm that he was dedicated. Just with problems at home (current flat mates a douche) he just was unhappy with everything. He has said that in a few weeks once he's moved out we'll be good to go. Happy ended huh? Apologies for anyone interested in the pedals Cheers for the help folks - you're all awesome! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seashell Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 [quote name='woodyratm' timestamp='1317814994' post='1394820'] Hah i like how this topic has decended! But on another note - I got a call from the guitarist last night (Since i'm in freaking london still...) - He'd spoken to the drummer (who let slip my fears hah) and wanted to confirm that he was dedicated. Just with problems at home (current flat mates a douche) he just was unhappy with everything. He has said that in a few weeks once he's moved out we'll be good to go. Happy ended huh? Apologies for anyone interested in the pedals Cheers for the help folks - you're all awesome! [/quote] Ooh let's hope a happy ending is on the horizon! (and sorry for lowering the tone of your thread) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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