[quote name='OzMike' post='1186451' date='Apr 3 2011, 05:43 AM']Welcome to the 'fakers club' - I think it's a big one, and that the best musicians are just the biggest 'fakers' of all. They are so good it seems like they can 'fake' being able to play anything! As a fellow faker, my position is this - if a bass player can play his part, it doesn't matter how long it took to get there or how much work 'out of sight'. When people sometimes compliment me on my playing, I hold back a giggle thinking 'you don't know how crap I really am, and how much practice I had to do to cover it up'.
My first suggestion would be - get a teacher. A good teacher will be able to make an assessment of your strengths and weaknesses, and direct your efforts towards where it'll make the most difference.
And what makes you think you can't learn a song by ear? - anyone can do it, it just comes down to how long it takes. If it's a matter of some tone-deafness - I have that too. Often I can't tell the difference between the 'correct' note and one that is 'in harmony' with it (especially if it's not the root). A teacher can help in this regard too. For some musicians learning by ear is easy; for the rest of us, your ear needs some / a lot of training.
I feel as though I should know more theory, should be able to play better, should know more songs. This is because music is an open-ended experience; it's never 'finished'. This can be overwhelming if you only consider what you can't do, but more helpful is to consider what you *can* do, what you want to be able to do, and how to connect these two points (via practice, learning, listening, band experience etc).
Don't forget what you know, but perhaps *do* start learning some 'basics' and - eventually - what you know already and the 'basics' will meet.[/quote]
+1 to all this.
Don't give up, just think about changing your approach