Once,a very long time ago,the band I played in at the time did a gig in Dorking,Surrey.
At the end of the gig,myself and the sax player,who was a man who would shag a rolling doughnut,were approached by an American lady,and chatted up.
Whilst she was good looking,there was something about her that said"WIERDO!".
The sax player extracted himself,leaving me waiting for my drink with the nutter.She turned to me and uttered what to this day I still think as the most bizarre thing ever;
"You're all sweaty and handsome".
The former,yes.The latter,no(I had a mullet,a 'tache and a soul patch.I'm 5'7" and a bit on the porky side).
Lifting my pint,I answered with"sorry,must dash,my ice-cream is getting cold"and scarpered.
I am a bass player.
I stand at the back cos I'm fugly.