What a year……

[Rayman]

My mum died from Dementia Jan 2nd, and it basically kicked off an extremely traumatic 2025. I had a knee replacement in Feb, which was way harder that I thought it would be. My best pal declined rapidly after a two year battle with cancer and lost the fight in October. We buried him in November. Our drummers wife had a heart attack. Their little granddaughter found her on the floor, and remarkably the emergency services saved her, but she’s been left with severe brain trauma and is a shadow of what she was. But she’s alive thankfully.

 

I dunno man, this year…. I for one will be glad to see the back of it. 
 

As always, stuff like this makes you think…. do the stuff you want to do, be with the ones you love, live every day to the max…. You know. 

[cetera]

I'm so sorry Rayman...

Same kind of year here. My Mum had a fall, ended up in hospital, went to rehab then got a blood infection and went downhill. Back to hospital and we thought we'd lost her. Improved and released home with carers popping in but hated not being able to get around her own home and went downhill again. Back to hospital and then released to a care home, where she is now.... and I'm now dealing with my Dad who is frail, lonely and struggling to get about.
I've also lost 2 friends to suicide and 4 friends to illness this year.... as well as a losing a huge musical hero.

 

Not sure next year will be any better tbh. All my heroes are of 'that age' and my Parents are nearing the end. I guess it's just that time in life and I should just suck it up....

Edited yesterday at 12:56 by cetera
spelling

[Rayman]

I hear you. Yes, it’s a sign of our age I guess. All the best to you matey.

[Thor]

1 hour ago, cetera said:

 I guess it's just that time in life and I should just suck it up....

 

Hmmm, I'm the worlds worst at sharing my feelings, although I'm finally learning with age not to just suck it up, but occasionally unload and express how I'm feeling/my various frustrations/concerns/worries etc.

 

Just my thoughts, we all cope differently.

 

Hope you have a great Christmas break 🙂

[Rayman]

18 minutes ago, Thor said:

 

Hmmm, I'm the worlds worst at sharing my feelings, although I'm finally learning with age not to just suck it up, but occasionally unload and express how I'm feeling/my various frustrations/concerns/worries etc.

 

Just my thoughts, we all cope differently.

 

Hope you have a great Christmas break 🙂

Trouble is with elderly parents, the child has to grow up and take over the responsibilities, as the parents regress into a childlike state…. both mine did anyway, maybe it isn’t the same for everyone. Also my brother didn’t cope well with it all. So I definitely felt like I had to toughen up and support everyone, even though I was the youngest. Similar with my mate in many ways, I definitely became his big brother as best as I could. You’re right though, you still have to think about your own state of mind, and talk to loved ones about the whole thing, something I’m crap at. I definitely hold it all in. 

[franzbassist]

Sorry to hear your family have had had such a tough time.  I had a year like this in 2024; Sister in Law died of a brain tumour in April, my Mum died of pancreatic cancer in July, and Brother in Law was in a coma and hospitalised for ten months with brain abscesses (he has recovered but won't walk again), and then to top it all off our dog died in December.

 

It really made my wife and I reflect on things, so much so we have decided to retire (I'm being made redundant in March next year, so that forces the issue somewhat as at 60 I have no appetite to get back into the fray) and enjoy life.  You never now when or how it might change, and we are lucky to have paid off the mortgage and have two grown kids, so it feels right.

 

Life can throw a lot of crap at us sometimes, as the other comments attest to, but we keep on pushing don't we. 

Edited yesterday at 14:08 by franzbassist

[Burns-bass]

1 hour ago, Rayman said:

Trouble is with elderly parents, the child has to grow up and take over the responsibilities, as the parents regress into a childlike state…. both mine did anyway, maybe it isn’t the same for everyone. Also my brother didn’t cope well with it all. So I definitely felt like I had to toughen up and support everyone, even though I was the youngest. Similar with my mate in many ways, I definitely became his big brother as best as I could. You’re right though, you still have to think about your own state of mind, and talk to loved ones about the whole thing, something I’m crap at. I definitely hold it all in. 

I wouldn’t discount professional counselling. Yes it costs money but 4-6 sessions can really help. (Disclaimer, I’m training to be a counsellor but speak for persona experience.)

 

Sometimes having a space to share ca be really positive. 

[bassbiscuits]

Sorry to hear so many people have been having a hard time. Take the time you need to be kind to yourselves and work through it. 
 

Not a vintage year here either tbh. My brother was diagnosed with stage 4 sarcoma, my mother in law had two strokes and most recently pneumonia. 
 

As already said, these are tough times when you’ve got relatives in the later part of their lives and trying to cope with the complexities of that. 
 

As others here have said, help is available if you need it. A lot of places offer low-cost or “pay what you can” counselling services, and organisations like Andy’s Man Club offer a supportive place to talk without the expectations of formal counselling  sessions. 

 

Take care of yourselves and here’s to better times ahead. 
 

Edited 43 minutes ago by bassbiscuits

[itu]

The next question is: 

Who will take care of the BassChat to the next generations? 

[tauzero]

Mrs Zero had her hip replaced, and I was given a date for my hip replacement, so that's quite good, although we had to postpone our summer holiday by 12 months as a result.