Happy Jack

An update for you all. I phoned Thomann UK (i.e. a UK phone number which connects you to Germany) and spoke, as usual, to a charming and helpful young man who spoke better English than I do. He gave good sympathy, made encouraging noises, and reassured me that Thomann could do absolutely nothing to help but not to worry because UPS always get these things sorted out. I ended the call feeling like someone had just patted me on the head and said "Good Boy ... Good Boy!". Then I tried the UPS Support team. Again. Making a payment requires you to log in first but the system still won't let me log in because my email address is already in use. (No, it's not.) Registering using another email address doesn't work - the system recognises that it's the same IP address. I found the Contact Us button ... How would you like to contact us, email or telephone? I clicked 'email' and the system invited me to log in. I gave up, with the worst possible grace, and went off to watch a documentary about Zaha Hadid (who once tried to poach me from another firm), leaving @Silvia Bluejay to show me how it's done. How it's done is apparently something called Facebook. Having PM'd a bot at 1108, were in PM communication with Angel at 1324 assuring me that the UPS Customer Services team were now on the case and that the box would definitely be delivered today. At 1645 the box arrived, ripped open savagely down one side and easily able to spill - for example - a couple of 20M rolls of Speakon cable. Yup, that big. We checked the contents and nothing had actually gone, but that was sheer blind luck. The driver was unable to get his handheld device to connect so was unable to find out how much I owed. I printed a copy of the UPS bill and gave it to him. He was unable to generate a fee-charge and asked me if I had any cash. (!!!) When I said I didn't, he asked me to pay on line. When I stopped laughing I explained why that was not possible and suggested that he get his Supervisor or someone to call me later. He went away. I sent an update to Angel at UPS Customer Services. UPS came back straight away and apologised for failing to make a delivery as they had promised. Some of you may recall Well it's now four months later and I think that I have at last reached the tipping point.

I don't mean to go off at a tangent, but if you're new to buying PA gear then please please pretty please DON'T BUY NEW! Few things go down in value quite as much or as quickly as low to mid-range PA gear, and the best way to find out what you really need is to buy a simple system, try it, and work out what (if anything) is lacking. I just did a quick'n'dirty search on eBay for "PA system" + Used + Buy It Now + UK Only. If I set the Budget at "Up to £200" I get 370 results, and whilst much of it is dross there's at least a hundred rigs there that I'd be happy to gig with as my first rig.

As a long-standing fan of Thomann, I'm depressed to say that it's unlikely I'll buy from them again, especially since this is actually down to their choice of courier! @Silvia Bluejay and I put in an order for about £200 a couple of weeks ago, our first since Brexit. Instead of the usual snappy and efficient turnaround, we had to chase them for a valid tracking number, then we waited a week for a message saying that our goods were held up at Customs and would be delivered a week later (i.e. today). Had an update this morning from UPS stating that the goods would be delivered between 8:15 and 12:30 today and that there were fees to pay. Fine, sat there waiting. At 2:45 re-checked to find that UPS had "attempted a delivery" at 8:51 (a lie, no UPS van even came down our street) but had been "unable to receive payment" (another lie, they hadn't requested any). Checked the UPS website and found an option to pay the fees online (with a warning that we'd then need to print the receipt to show the UPS driver, presumably because the system doesn't actually update in real time). You can't pay unless you log in. You can't log in unless you register. It won't let me register, says my user name is already in use. Life's too short for this sort of 5h1t. I've emailed them telling Thomann to eirher insist that UPS actually come here and ring my doorbell or just cancel my order and refund in full.

Well just don't tell them ...

@MacDaddy

Did it come signed personally by King John?

"Those born again Christians have got nothing on, Satanic sex rituals that last all night long." Y'know, I'm pretty sure that there's a comma in the wrong place. Unless he knows a lot of born again Christians who like to get back to nature ...

By and large, you don't. Record everything first, with vox / guitar / bass / drums all being in the default, centre position. Then do an initial 'gain stage' mix to get the various track levels to match, at least roughly. There's endless YouTube about this. Then (in your DAW) go through each track in order and apply EQ (including pan) and compression as required. Then go through each track again, this time adding FX as required. Now you're in a position to do a decent mix.

There was an old man of St. Bees Who was stung in the arm by a wasp. When asked, "Does it hurt?", He replied, "No it doesn't, I'm so glad it wasn't a hornet."

Well we’ve got no class And we’ve got no principles And we’ve got no innocence We can’t even think of a word that rhymes!

Ha! Mention the movie biz and immediately you can up your profit margin by 500%. My 'main' trolley is https://www.thomann.de/gb/rocknroller_r8_mid.htm which is complete overkill for most situations. @Silvia Bluejay and I have this because our studio is down a short, steep slope from street level, and we bring the complete PA for all gigs by all bands I play with. Having this trolley means that a couple of up-hill journeys is enough for the load-out before setting off to a gig, while a single down-hill journey is usually enough for the load-in at 2am. The Thomann trolley folds rather more effectively than the Filmtools version shown above, and I imagine that it's probably lighter too, but you wouldn't want to take one of these in the vehicle with you unless you have a van or (as in my case) a large MPV.

https://www.screwfix.com/p/folding-sack-truck-80kg/1209p

Do you remember the excitment about those uber-cheap trolleys that used to be occasionally available at Lidl? I seem to remember them being something absolutely potty, like £12, but you needed to know which branches of Lidl had them, and exactly when they'd be in stock!

At the gig we use one of these: https://cpc.farnell.com/duratool/d01950/folding-sack-truck-trolley-compact/dp/TL14696?mckv=ssub0DW1o_dc|pcrid|224653856316|kword||match||plid||slid||product|TL14696|pgrid|45451978925|ptaid|pla-564551473857|&CMP=KNC-GUK-CPC-SHOPPING&s_kwcid=AL!5616!3!224653856316!!!network}!564551473857!&gclid=Cj0KCQjwsLWDBhCmARIsAPSL3_2TfrGCyj9L002A5-JWWn6it7I7ZHlX_bioftXrNgn1bELCyDXBOf8aAmyoEALw_wcB For loading in/out at home we use a much heftier 4-wheeled trolley. At 2am we don't want to be making half a dozen trips to & from the car, so we use a trolley that takes all the essential gear in one hit.

Back in 2013 the company announced that their pickups would be re-branded from 'BassLines' to 'Seymour Duncan'. A quick glance at t'Net and it's clear that product photos from the USA and Europe show 'Seymour Duncan', but all the big UK suppliers continue to show 'BassLines'. I'm puzzled.

Lockdown has a lot to answer for, and the media are now full of stories about 'mental health issues'. This (for want of a better word) bass actually comprises such issues turned to wood and metal. It's a cry for help. I'm not even sure that I'm trying to be tongue-in-cheek here. 😨

What a rubbish listing! In amongst the folky, supposedly-funny comments, you'd think he'd have found the room to mention what the controls do, what the string-spacing and scale length are, how much the bass weighs, little things like that. As it is, he doesn't even claim that what he's selling actually works, or would be capable of working with the addition of a neck + tuners and a set of strings. For some reason, the phrase "10-foot bargepole" keeps springing to mind.

I thought all this stuff was now so distributed that a fire in a single location couldn't knock it out.

Understood, but when I'm recording my 3-piece rockabilly outfit we all fit very comfortably in my studio (i.e. garage) with me standing right by the computer. Our aim is to achieve the Sun Studio stripped-down 1950s sound, so we're all in the room together and there's nary a sound engineer's booth in sight.

It took me WAY longer than it should have done to realise that those cavities were on the front of the bass!

Lefty, given the number of bassists with a high-end 20Kg all-valve amp sitting on a shelf somewhere gathering dust, why don't you just borrow one for a month or two?

Undeniably clever, and I'm sure there's loads of applications where this will be very handy, but I have to admit to being relieved that it almost certainly won't be of any use to me. 😂

Would now be a good moment to mention that I met and married @Silvia Bluejay as a direct result of us both being bass players? No? Alright ... as you were then.

Nah ... San Miguel usually comes in titchy 330ml bottles. I'm no drinker, and I know it's 5.0 ABV, but four of them pretty much bounce off me. Rather than the ceiling.