Happy Jack

And the ESTA to get back out of the country afterwards ...

In all fairness, you only have to play one note at a time so that's easy, right?

Of course zombies and vampires exist. Have you never watch Today In Parliament?

Maybe he means that you have to be able to play all five styles simultaneously.

They probably looked a little less intimidating before Brexit wrecked the Pound ...

Try spending a few hours with your radio tuned to Absolute Radio (or similar Oldies station) and see how many of the big hits from the past you can successfully busk based simply on the fact that you grew up listening to the song. If you have a talent for that, then you'll do fine at any jam session.

That's because he's not advertising the rubbish he puts in his adverts; he's actually advertising his shop. His adverts are so outrageous that they attract the curious, looking to scoff. When they see his actual site they realise he's a shrewd businessman with some pretty decent stuff at decent prices. Then they buy something and leave 100% Feedback. Simples.

I dunno ... the English are very fond of saying that Germans have no sense of humour, and then get all po-faced about a very obvious joke.

I don't have a few Musicmen, but I get your drift.

Ever since I first saw the nature of a typical YouTube comment I have ensured that any videos I post have Comments disabled. YouTube truly is the natural habitat of the Internet Troll. Now I see this: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/newsbeat-46559772 They claim to be removing nearly one billion comments a year. Really? If that really is the case, then I guess they need to target 5bn removals a year in future ...

And in celebration ...

Yup, absolutely agree. Which is why the "woodiest" sounding bass I own is ... erm ... a Status Streamline, comprising 100% fibreglass / carbon fibre / plasticky stuff / whatever. Pickups? It has a set of Status P/J in it rather than soapbars.

Regardless of origin, it's a wondrous beast to be sure. I have to say that I remain genuinely and constantly amazed at the number of people who try to sell a £4k bass using 50p worth of photos.

That's a lovely thing.

Don't get excited Douglas, he stood up to to it!

Ah yes, the The Bassic Theory Of Relativity, in which the relative weight of a bass can only be tested by your relatives.

I can't do it sitting either, and yes - I've tried. The weight of the bass cut off the circulation in my leg and it all went numb! Seriously.

But now we all have a much clearer idea of what was obviously a formative moment in the History Of Skank.

Much better to take both basses into Earth orbit and A/B them in freefall. Weight disappears but mass remains. If the bass with greater mass still sounds 'better' (for a given definition of 'better') then you have the opportunity to start a whole new argument!

I've had good basses that were heavy and good basses that were light. I've had bad basses that were heavy and bad basses that were light. Weight has nothing to do with it. Your ears are all that matter.

Where's Boris Island when we need it?

Yup. I learned early on that most of the audience, any audience, are actually listening to the song in their head, not what the actual band is playing.

As to the OP, well done mate. I've winged a few in my time, but it sounds like you played a blinder. Instead of worrying that you're an imposter, surely this just proves that you're really rather good at what you do?

I started in live music by playing at one of the better jams in West London (the Drayton Arms, Ealing, formerly the King's Head, Acton jam). Quite literally everybody in the room was a better musician than me, and the great majority (including the guitarists) were better bass players than me. So? You have to start somewhere. If I could get in a time machine and go back those years - taking my bass with me, natch - there would still be plenty of better musicians there. There will always be better musicians than yourself somewhere, if you look hard enough. So stop looking and enjoy what you do.