skidder652003 Posted September 7, 2018 Share Posted September 7, 2018 Im really looking forward to going to a 50th birthday bash this weekend in Hampshire. The birthday girl is the lead singer and writer of an old origionals band I was in 20 odd years ago. We've stayed good friends after all this time. The reason I left was entirely benign, I was moving down to Devon with my very young family to start a new business. Over the years our 2 familes (she also has 2 kids, now young men) have stayed in touch and see each other at least once a year, it's great. Being in bands have forged some lifelong friendships that would probably never have happened otherwise, I suppose its the cameraderie of being on a stage (or corner of some really grotty student pubs) with your fellow band members that do that. Is anyone else still good friends with old band members, it doesn't have to end in acrimony all the time does it? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silverfoxnik Posted September 7, 2018 Share Posted September 7, 2018 Definitely not. My best friend is the drummer I was in my first band with 40 years ago and though I moved away from London in 2001, we've still maintained that friendship.. In fact, he depped with my band here in West Sussex a couple of months ago. Alongside that, I'm still reasonably good friends with a lot of musicians I've been in bands with over the years. Mind you - there are a few musos I have fallen out with over the years and coincidentally, they've all been 6 string geetards, or 'Controli Freakati' as that wonderful Huffington Post article referred to them as a few years ago! I shall say no more. 😁 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skidder652003 Posted September 7, 2018 Author Share Posted September 7, 2018 https://www.independent.com/news/2014/nov/19/dating-musician-i-recommend-bass-players/ 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silverfoxnik Posted September 7, 2018 Share Posted September 7, 2018 1 hour ago, skidder652003 said: https://www.independent.com/news/2014/nov/19/dating-musician-i-recommend-bass-players/ ^^ The Gospel.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uk_lefty Posted September 7, 2018 Share Posted September 7, 2018 Still good mates with the ones I can keep in touch with. My first ever band had two great lads in it and we got back together for reunion gigs, but both are complete technophobes so can't even look them up on Facebook to get back in touch. Another band ended when I moved out of London, the singer now lives in Thailand but we all keep in touch and have attempted to get to gigs together, we may manage one day! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cat Burrito Posted September 7, 2018 Share Posted September 7, 2018 I think I'm in touch and friends with pretty much everyone I've played with, across 30 yrs & over 15 bands. Life's too short. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigRedX Posted September 7, 2018 Share Posted September 7, 2018 I think it helps if you were friends first before you were in a band together. Certainly that is the case with all my ex-bandmates I still see regularly. I think there is only one bandmate with whom I have had a really bad falling out, but now 15 years on I'm really not that bothered anymore. Since the band split up I've gone on to do some fantastic things musically and AFAICS she has not. The most common reason for me not keeping in touch with old band members is that IMO they have stopped being interesting people and I simply don't have the time or energy to continue being friends with people I don't really have anything in common with anymore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
casapete Posted September 7, 2018 Share Posted September 7, 2018 I've known three of my closest friends for around 45 years, having met in a local guitar store and being in many bands with them on and off ever since. There is definitely a special connection you make with people you bond with musically, and continue to find good new friends like this too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkey Steve Posted September 7, 2018 Share Posted September 7, 2018 when I was 18 me and a guitarist friend were sat in my local discussing putting a band together (we were already in a band but everybody else was away at Uni) but where were we going to find a drummer? The landlady pipes up "my son plays drums, shall I get him?" 30+ years later he's my best mate, been in loads of bands with him, and even though he now lives far, far away we're still in touch and swap e-mails every week or two, meet for beer whenever he gets in to London, etc. In fact quite a large chunk of my mates are people who I've been in bands with over the years. And while I have lost touch with a few here and there, there are only two who I actively avoid...and yes, both lead guitarists (who I sacked and have no desire to ever see again) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Low End Bee Posted September 7, 2018 Share Posted September 7, 2018 Got me thnking about my first bandmates from 78-81. Guitarist - Dead. Drink & drugs. Drummer - Doing porridge. Will be in for a long time yet. Singer - Ex psychopath. Now a buddhist architect in Seattle! Makes me feel very normal. Not in touch safe to say. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teebs Posted September 7, 2018 Share Posted September 7, 2018 I'm in touch with most of the band members from late '90s / 2000s & still see them at weddings or for drinks on occasion. The drummer from those bands is ace, still drumming in a very good band that I've just sorted out tickets to see later this month - really looking forward to seeing him & his new band - the best drummer / musician I've been lucky enough to play with. Conversely, the band that I was in up 'til recently, I have seen sometimes, but really not bothered either way - I certainly wouldn't go to see them gig if they ever get that far. I would be interested to see how their guitarist turned bass player is getting on - but only out of badness! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bassace Posted September 7, 2018 Share Posted September 7, 2018 When our skiffle group became the rhythm section of our first band we decided we should dispense with the washboard and get some drums. That was in 1958. So we all got on the bus and went to see Steve, not to audition him but to see his drums. They were a gorgeous red set. I played with him just three weeks ago, he’s a great drummer playing a Drumright Masterworks red set. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkey Steve Posted September 7, 2018 Share Posted September 7, 2018 3 hours ago, Teebs said: I'm in touch with most of the band members from late '90s / 2000s & still see them at weddings or for drinks on occasion. The drummer from those bands is ace, still drumming in a very good band that I've just sorted out tickets to see later this month - really looking forward to seeing him & his new band - the best drummer / musician I've been lucky enough to play with. Conversely, the band that I was in up 'til recently, I have seen sometimes, but really not bothered either way - I certainly wouldn't go to see them gig if they ever get that far. I would be interested to see how their guitarist turned bass player is getting on - but only out of badness! There's a mate who I still see a lot of who was the singer in my first serious band, who has never said a good word about any of the bands that the rest of us have been in since he left 25 years ago. He's never been in another band (purely because of his remarkably low level of talent - we actually went for a celebratory drink after he quit, we were so pleased that we no longer had to listen to his awful vocals) and he doesn't seem to understand why the rest of us have been in bands pretty much constantly ever since and he hasn't. I was comparing notes with the drummer a few weeks ago, and over those last 25 years the singer has been to see two of my subsequent bands and none of the drummers: for the first one the only comment he's ever made is how somebody that was also there said that the vocals weren't very good (they weren't but they were a lot better than him singing); and the second one was a gig that he knew a girl he fancied was going to be at and he's never made any comments about that one...possibly because she really enjoyed it so he can't say anything bad about it,but he can't bring himself to give us any praise either. For the drummer's subsequent bands, he cut and pasted a bad review of the last band's album from Metal Hammer and e-mailed it to the drummer. The drummer asked whether he'd actually heard the album, or looked at the 8/10 reviews that everybody else was giving it? No, he'd only seen the bad review so thought he'd share it. Everybody's got a friend they hate. And usually it's him 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NancyJohnson Posted September 7, 2018 Share Posted September 7, 2018 10 hours ago, skidder652003 said: Is anyone else still good friends with old band members, it doesn't have to end in acrimony all the time does it? Sadly, sometimes it does. It's funny...the early Nancy Johnson guys, well, we all get on famously, despite the hirings and firings, in fact two of the first lineup of that band are also in Lutz, the new project. I guess that the standard operating procedure early on was more about having a hoot than being too serious. That said, what the band eventually evolved into couldn't have been any more different. I doubt whether I'll ever speak to any of them face to face again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bassbiscuits Posted September 7, 2018 Share Posted September 7, 2018 I still get on with most people I've shared a stage with over the years. But im also glad im not still in a band with quite a lot of them! Where friendships existed before the band, they've survived the best. Some others were people I'd have nothing in common with beyond that particular band, so we've not really kept in touch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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