gub Posted May 15, 2012 Share Posted May 15, 2012 Get them up singing , worked for the partridge family Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dark Lord Posted May 15, 2012 Share Posted May 15, 2012 There is a crucial question on my mind here. You say it is an originals band? Who writes the songs? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flyfisher Posted May 15, 2012 Share Posted May 15, 2012 [quote name='oggiesnr' timestamp='1337035113' post='1654548'] Sorry but I strongly disagree here. In the example as stated, leaving kids of that age by themselves in a van isn't a question of good or bad parenting, it's a question of law and your complicity in leaving kids in a dangerous situation. So a kid has broken away from a parent and is about to run across a busy road, do you put an arm out to stop them or go "not my responsibility, it's the parents" and sod the consequences? [/quote] I wasn't defending the parent's behaviour, just pointing out that it's a recipe for disaster to start telling such parents the error of their ways. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Conan Posted May 15, 2012 Share Posted May 15, 2012 [quote name='flyfisher' timestamp='1337068506' post='1654723'] I wasn't defending the parent's behaviour, just pointing out that it's a recipe for disaster to start telling such parents the error of their ways. [/quote] True - but in this case, [i]not[/i] telling them could be just as bad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EssentialTension Posted May 15, 2012 Share Posted May 15, 2012 I'd say this is a situation where you either have to leave or you have to say something and see what happens but you can't do nothing at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dropzone Posted May 15, 2012 Share Posted May 15, 2012 I wonder if there is any mileage in going down nostalgia alley with the singer. As in "do you remember the good times when we used to...." or the trip that...." "we don't seem to do that any more, they were great times" and see where that goes. If you make the cracks sometimes they propagate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Len_derby Posted May 15, 2012 Share Posted May 15, 2012 [quote name='EssentialTension' timestamp='1337070219' post='1654747'] I'd say this is a situation where you either have to leave or you have to say something and see what happens but you can't do nothing at all. [/quote] Having followed the thread I tend to agree with this. I think it's a situation where 'do nothing' isn't an option. But, if you do decide it's not for you and you take your leave how will you feel if in the future you find out something went seriously awry concerning the kids and you didn't say anything at the time? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lurksalot Posted May 15, 2012 Share Posted May 15, 2012 [quote name='EssentialTension' timestamp='1337070219' post='1654747'] I'd say this is a situation where you either have to leave or you have to say something and see what happens but you can't do nothing at all. [/quote] [quote name='Len_derby' timestamp='1337078854' post='1654923'] Having followed the thread I tend to agree with this. I think it's a situation where 'do nothing' isn't an option. But, if you do decide it's not for you and you take your leave how will you feel if in the future you find out something went seriously awry concerning the kids and you didn't say anything at the time? [/quote] If you are leaving, then there is no reason not to say why you are leaving , this could well include the safety/welfare of the kids , but by the same score he may grow up to be a great parent like ...er.... ozzzy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chrismanbass Posted May 15, 2012 Share Posted May 15, 2012 just an alternative opinion on this could you possibly find things for the kids to do when your out on the road i.e. carrying light pieces/inexpensive pieces of kit like mic stands, leads ect and maybe take them under your wing and teach them some stuff or suggest to their parents that they could help out with stuff i've been hanging around bands for as long as i can remember and i was always found things to do which kept me out of trouble and stopped me getting bored and as a happy result i learned A LOT of stuff with the correct supervision of course from the reallities of being in a band how to run live sound, how to operate lighting ect of course this will take a little more of your time but may avoid some potentially nasty arguments down the line n hey you may even find that you enjoy teaching them stuff tbh it doesn't sound like you can change the fact that their there so you may as well get some benefits from them being there? sorry if this has already been said i only breifly skimmed through this thread Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discreet Posted May 15, 2012 Share Posted May 15, 2012 It's just wrong. That is all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oggiesnr Posted May 16, 2012 Share Posted May 16, 2012 [quote name='discreet' timestamp='1337124317' post='1656027'] It's just wrong. That is all. [/quote] + 1 Steve Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrismuzz Posted May 16, 2012 Share Posted May 16, 2012 It does seem as if they are putting themselves before the children's needs (or indeed that of the rest of the band!) It's an awkward situation indeed, and I would not want to be the guy who had to have a word with them about it. But it's got to be done. It's not just yourself who's losing out on this after all. If you get a hostile reaction it just shows that it's time to leave and do something else, and a bloody shame if they don't heed your words and start thinking of their kids' wellbeing more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3V17C Posted May 16, 2012 Author Share Posted May 16, 2012 Cheers for all the input... seems i'm not the only one who thinks bringing the kids is a bad idea!! At the moment the opinion amongst us three band members is that the whole bringing the kids along thing will implode in on itself anyway. Fingers crossed its only going to be a matter of time before the parents realise that its more trouble than its worth having the kids there and that being on the road is no place for them. We'll see! I think we're gonna have to wait it out and hope they see sense. At the moment I don't want to rock the boat (I already did that the other day!) and I don't want to jump ship just yet as the band does have potential (we've just been booked for a BBC Maida Vale session and are getting some dates in Europe etc) so I don't want to shoot myself in the foot over this issue! Will have to see how it goes!!.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geoffbassist Posted May 16, 2012 Share Posted May 16, 2012 [quote name='3V17C' timestamp='1337158010' post='1656233'] Cheers for all the input... seems i'm not the only one who thinks bringing the kids is a bad idea!! At the moment the opinion amongst us three band members is that the whole bringing the kids along thing will implode in on itself anyway. Fingers crossed its only going to be a matter of time before the parents realise that its more trouble than its worth having the kids there and that being on the road is no place for them. We'll see! I think we're gonna have to wait it out and hope they see sense. At the moment I don't want to rock the boat (I already did that the other day!) and I don't want to jump ship just yet as the band does have potential (we've just been booked for a BBC Maida Vale session and are getting some dates in Europe etc) so I don't want to shoot myself in the foot over this issue! Will have to see how it goes!!.... [/quote] Good luck. Situations like this are very tricky. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimR Posted May 16, 2012 Share Posted May 16, 2012 (edited) It's always tricky when wives/girlfriends get involved. Essentially you were on to a loser when she decided that the best way to support his confidence and depression issues was to join the band and bring the kids to gigs. What exactly was she thinking. I wouldn't bother talking to her about it. He's the one who needs to insist on proper child care while you are at gigs. Any children in the entertainment industry need proper supervision. It's going to go down well when you're in the middle of a BBC session and one of the kids calls up on the mobile and Mum has to go out to the van, or just as you hit the big time The Sun on Sunday snap pics of them alone on the van. Edited May 16, 2012 by TimR Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skankdelvar Posted May 16, 2012 Share Posted May 16, 2012 (edited) [quote name='TimR' timestamp='1337160322' post='1656287'] Any children in the entertainment industry need proper supervision. [/quote] True, if they're [i]performers[/i] in the entertainment industry. Rules and regs coming out the ying-yang. Mate of mine is a Some-very-complicated-and-handwringing-job-title Child Performance Officer and he's rushed off his feet. As he says "Snooping is my business and business is good." But re-reading the original post, apart from the van thing (which is a bit dim) or taking kids into licensed premises, they're not actually doing anything illegal, afaics. What we're condemning is other peoples' choices which they're perfectly entitled to make. So no change here, then. The alternative is to leave them with a 'childminder' and some of those are pretty suspect, IMO. [color=#ffffff].[/color] Edited May 16, 2012 by skankdelvar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discreet Posted May 16, 2012 Share Posted May 16, 2012 [quote name='skankdelvar' timestamp='1337179550' post='1656756'] The alternative is to leave them with a 'childminder' and some of those are pretty suspect, IMO. [/quote] Yes, and also [i]extremely [/i]expensive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skankdelvar Posted May 16, 2012 Share Posted May 16, 2012 [quote name='discreet' timestamp='1337183802' post='1656838'] Yes, and also [i]extremely [/i]expensive. [/quote] £55 a day per child at our local creche. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimR Posted May 16, 2012 Share Posted May 16, 2012 We're not talking about a crèche though. We're talking about someone to sit with an 8 and a 10 year old for a couple of hours every now and again. At a time in the evening when both kids should be asleep in bed. No specialist skills needed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flyfisher Posted May 16, 2012 Share Posted May 16, 2012 [quote name='skankdelvar' timestamp='1337184006' post='1656843'] £55 a day per child at our local creche. [/quote] . . . or about £14k per year, which is about the same as a decent non-boarding independent school. Funny, isn't it, how sending kids to independent schools seems to somehow make them privileged and lah-di-dah rich kids, but being dumped off at the local nursery each morning is generally quite acceptable. I'm not judging either way, just amused by the inconsistency. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimR Posted May 16, 2012 Share Posted May 16, 2012 (edited) That's not a skill. If you are a registered childminder there are all sorts of provisions you have to make. This depends on age of child and what type of care you are providing. For pre-schoolers this is everything from a basic teaching program to locks and catches etc That's not what is required here. Basic CRB for someone being employed but a family friend doesn't need to provide anything. Edited May 16, 2012 by TimR Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gust0o Posted May 16, 2012 Share Posted May 16, 2012 [quote name='flyfisher' timestamp='1337185358' post='1656874'] . . . or about £14k per year, which is about the same as a decent non-boarding independent school. Funny, isn't it, how sending kids to independent schools seems to somehow make them privileged and lah-di-dah rich kids, but being dumped off at the local nursery each morning is generally quite acceptable. I'm not judging either way, just amused by the inconsistency. [/quote] Good call, lah. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimR Posted May 16, 2012 Share Posted May 16, 2012 (edited) Just illustrating the scale. If I'm doing a gig and my wife is out, I can drop my kids round at a friend's. Life is a huge compromise. If people are unwilling to compromise they shouldn't get married and they certainly shouldn't have kids. Edited May 16, 2012 by TimR Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3V17C Posted May 19, 2012 Author Share Posted May 19, 2012 haha and to cap it all... at yesterdays gig they didn't just bring the kids.. they also brought the family dog!!! Seriously!!.. I could not believe it!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skankdelvar Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 [quote name='3V17C' timestamp='1337436789' post='1659971'] they also brought the family dog [/quote] Report them. Report them [i]right now[/i]. Poor old Rover. How entirely disgraceful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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