Rich

Yes you do, and in your fantasy they turn out to be lovely chaps and not jerks at all. For my fantasy, it's Steely Dan or Mike Stern.

Milliontown -- Frost* Upside Downside -- Mike Stern Power Windows -- Rush

I heard a story about Mike Rutherford once, to the effect that the reason he got together with Steinberger to develop the full bodied Steiny M-series guitar was because one of his kids had told him he looked really stupid playing the cricket-bat version. True or not, still funny

Probably just me being picky, but if I was laying down that sort of folding stuff on a bass I'd want the strings to line up a bit better with the pickup polepieces. Lovely colour though.

Prince. No question at all in my mind. How many people can claim to have single-handedly produced, arranged, composed AND performed many of their finest works?

Exclusively 5s at the moment, although I do have some 4s 'just in case'. And I'm putting together a fretless Ray-alike 4 that I'm hoping to shoehorn into the set somewhere

That headstock is totally wrong on that bass. The body is ok in a Carvin-y Conklin-y sort of way. Nothing remarkable though.

Your own fault. Nobody made you get married

No, we're discussing it. You're complaining that we're discussing it. Funny though, I was under the impression that jazz is thriving. Lots of new young artists coming through, etc. Certainly the jazz scene in Bristol is as lively as it's ever been.

I've had three equipment failures in my gigging career. 1 broken string, 1 battery box in active bass, and 1 total wireless system failure. The last two were rather more serious than the first! My guitarist has regular amp failures, he just patches it up the next day. He's a Yorkshireman and is therefore allergic to spending money; the idea of buying a new amp sends him into a cold sweat.

I expect most of us have got a 'Jaco', i.e. somebody whose popularity/reveredness we just do not get. Yours (OP) is Jaco, Spiders' is fusion as a whole, mine is Les Claypool. Oliver's language analogy was spot on; you don't speak Jaco and I don't know a word of Claypool. Doesn't make it crap, it just means that we don't get anything from listening to it.

It is capable of producing low tones. Doesn't mean it has to all the time. Otherwise Leo would only have given it 5 frets.

Certainly will -- and I'm hoping to have two working hands this time too!

Done

It's already on my domestic and band calendars

What a bell end. He sounds like a prime candidate for a 'frank exchange of views' in the pub car park. The bold bit alone is reason enough to bin him or the band. I don't blame you one jot for walking, but it's a real shame when it's something you've obviously poured so much into over the years. I see what you mean re: them getting some stick on their Farcebook page.

What you don't know is that charic has sold the film rights of the kebab guide to Disney, and is trying to cover it up by pretending that it's "gone missing"...

Or there's always I Can't Believe It's Not Playing Like Butter..?

Ah, gotcha. Yup, that's different. How about the classic "found in my dead uncle's loft"? Always good for a larf, that one.

Sometimes, needs must when the devil drives. A couple of times, I've been so broke I've actually contemplated selling my beloved Wal. The very thought makes me shudder.

On what planet exactly are The Jam and Blur 'rock' bands?