[quote name='linear' timestamp='1452792554' post='2953584']
This reminds me of the time I was on the bus when some nutter randomly starts talking to me, then gets off at my stop, and follows me back to my parents house. I tried to explain that there was a wake on for my great-uncle, who had sadly departed, but he was having none of it. He marches straight into the front room, plonks himself down on the settee next to my widowed aunt, and sits motionless, staring fixedly at a blank wall.
I stammered to my assembled relations that he was the barman from my uncle's local, and it seemed like I might get away with this, but as my mother brought through a cheese board and cutlery for the assembled guests, he whips off my great aunt's false leg and begins flailing away on it like a demon, insisting that my mother 'drum along'. My aunt is, naturally, distraught and bursts into tears. I pass her some tissues, which this guy snatches from her hands and starts scrawling on them intelligibly with the pen from the condolences book. By this point, the place is in uproar and I have to hold my brother back lest he murder the fellow, who has, by this point, returned to sitting motionless and staring at the blank wall.
It's pretty clear there's no salvaging this, so I go through to the hallway to call the police. When I return I am informed that the guy has run off, pausing only to steal a vase of daffodils and one of a pair of carved wooden deer that sat on the side table.
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Surely that can't be true?!