Japhet

1) All get there on time and do your bit to get set up. 2) Get a good sound mix with no feedback issues. 3) Play well with everybody on song. 4) Audience have a good time. 5) Bar staff have a good time. 6) Skip the songs in the set I don't like. 7) Pack away and load out with no problems. 8) Get paid as agreed. 9) Get asked back.

This is what immediately sprang to mind

I think the Holy Grail for most musicians is to be able to play what you hear in your head. If you have a fertile imagination so much the better. Joe Satriani can probably do that and Blackmore probably can't. Also to put it into context, I've always thought of Ritchie Blackmore as an obnoxious knob.

Yes. Like I said, not a dreadful song but I've played it for years and am utterly sick of it. There are so many other SRV songs that are better as well.

I don't think it would make any difference at all. The people who claim they can hear these types of things must have incredibly sensitive hearing and must have their ears professionally cleaned out on a regular basis.

Nope! 2 x 8 Ohm cabs gives you a 4 Ohm load. 2 x 4 Ohm cabs gives you a 2 Ohm load. 1 x 8 Ohm and 1 x 4 Ohm cabs gives you less than 4 Ohms so it will fry your amp.

They're not the worst songs in the world but 2 I'm absolutely sick to death of are Hard To Handle and Pride and Joy.

Used to play a medley of Mercy, Mercy Me/Heard it through the Grapevine - Marvin Gaye years ago and it was a real floor filler at functions.

You could have a sexual harassment claim against Joan Collins there. Might be worth starting a 'Me too' campaign.

I walked across the zebra crossing outside Abbey Road once.

Has to be Sweet Home Alabama for me. Music for toothless inbred rednecks.

If your definition of 'punchy' is what I think it is I'd say the Orange Terror. I played through one a while back but found it far too aggressive and 'in your face' for my taste. The 1000 watt with not much gain would have masses of headroom.

I'd stick with the ones I knew already but check that the arrangements are right. It's an audition after all and you want to be as relaxed as possible.

If it's all in good nick (i.e. no dings or scratches) you're best to key the existing paint surface with a grey scotchbrite pad. Give it a really thourough going over so that there are no shiny spots at all. Using rougher papers or abrasives will lead to scratches showing in the top coat. I bought one of these and repainted it a little while ago:

I used to play but haven't done so for years now. I found that once you got known you'd get to play with some decent musicians but up until that point you could end up with anything from OK to unbearable. I've visited a few 'jam' nights in the past couple of years but have noticed that it seems to have become a forum for bands to try stuff out (as in rehearse) instead of a random bunch trying to make a bit of music. They seem to turn up, play their bit and then pack up and bog off. This has though largely done away with the 12 bar blues quagmire that had a depressing inevitability about it but a bit of middle ground would be nice. I was always wary of being 'the only bass player' and getting stuck for what seemed like an eternity backing widdlers playing the same durge. If you were lucky you might occasionally get a change of key though.

The hum is worse if I go through my pedal board and also gets louder depending on where I stand. This only seems to happen in a couple of venues we play. The guitarist gets the same problems to a lesser extent.

Can anyone tell me how safe it is to use the ground lift switch on my amp? If the thing has a circuit to earth I'm assuming that it's there for a reason and surely disconnecting the earth has a few inherent issues. I get a few problems in a couple of places we play where using the ground lift stops my amp from humming but I'm not too sure how advisible it is to do this.

You'll have to key the surface before you spray paint it. The best way to do it is with a grey scotchbrite pad which will leave the surface with a matt finish anyway. If you don't key the surface up like this the paint will flake off. The scotchbrite pad might give you the finish you're after without paint.

Any excuse to put this up again

If I was still doing functions I'd most likely have a Fender Rumble 500 combo. I know it's not in the Vanderkley, PJB bracket for quality but it's a lightweight, powerful, single unit that's ready to plug in and play. You can sometimes get a bit pushed for time to set up at functions as well. The 500 combo could easily be put up on a stand as well so that you could hear it better.

Bobby Vega is the only player who has ever inspired me to play with a pick, and trying to sound anything like him is a totally lost cause.

Wasn't easy, but it was a private party for a couple who have been great supporters of the band and the woman in question was the bloke's sister. Wasn't happy though.

I'd always go for a head and cab (4 ohm) or 2 1x12 cabs (8 ohm) so you draw full power from your amp. Having said that, you could probably pick up a used Fender Rumble 500 for £350 which would keep up with most stuff.

I can forget a song mid performance that I've played hundreds of times. Fortunately I can usually blag my way out of it but sometimes I'll be thinking 'There's a funny bit coming up. What is it?' It comes back to me 99 times out of 100 but on the odd occasion I make something up that could be OK or not, in which case I tell people I play a bit of jazz if anyone comments.