members letting you down

[danbowskill]

finaly got the folks i wanted to form my new orginal band 7 months ago,
were a 4 piece,kinda like the mars volta meets queens!we have all gone in it with the intent to give it 100% even if we have to sacrafice other things!!
in all them months we have been keeping our heads down not rushing to get out there untill every little detail with the music was bang on how we want it.
got a string of gigs ready and studio time....................then alas today out of the blue the drummer folds as he"is so sorry i want to concentrate on my work more so i cannot commit to both"!!he could have waited till the ep was done at least!so pi**ed off!

i feel so let down,as there was such a unity and chemestry there!
it just drains the energy knowing you have to go through all you material with a new man(its very rythem oriented,strange time sigs)so feels like its going to be a mission

i gather there has been many of you guys that have had the same?

[Dubs]

Unlucky mate, that really sucks. If the material is ready to record and you're tight enough then maybe negociate with him to stay with it until the drum tracks are down?

When I was 18 I had a drummer walk out on the band I was in on the day of our 2nd gig. We played it acoustic and dedicated every song to our "dickhead ex drummer"

[waynepunkdude]

My member always lets me down

[Low End Bee]

Nope. Everyone I've ever been in a band with have always behaved like perfect gentlemen at all times and been devoid of ego and/or flakeyness.

Signed

Napolean Ftang Ftang Hatstand

Edited April 16, 2010 by Low End Bee

[Clarky]

My last band folded - the week after we had done our biggest gig (The Underworld in Camden) and got our stuff together ready to record an album - as our drummer suddenly told us decided he wanted to give up drumming and train to become an assistant teacher of underpriveleged kids in Brixton.

OK, you might say laudable on his part, so don't be too harsh Clarky. However:

1. We had just waited for the best part of six months for him to recover from serious hand and face injuries sustained when he decided two guys were on the rob in Woollies and to act as vigilante - whilst also trying out his ju jitsu (he was big into martial arts). You might suggest that this perhaps calls into question the suitability of his temperament for teaching kids?

2. he was actually a brilliant and super-fit drummer, keeping up >150pm time signatures for five minute-plus tracks and we simply could not find anyone else that could replicate his stamina and technical abilities

We spent a year looking for a replacement, getting increasingly p*ssed off (not helped by the fact he owed me money and had one of my CDs, neither to be seen again), and then called it a day. Around a year we learned he had bought an expensive eletronic drum kit and was looking for a band again.

Why does it always seem to be the drummers?

Edit: apologies, my second rant of this afternoon. Bad mood

Edited April 16, 2010 by Clarky

[danbowskill]

[quote name='Clarky' post='808542' date='Apr 16 2010, 04:00 PM']My last band folded - the week after we had done our biggest gig (The Underworld in Camden) and got our stuff together ready to record an album - as our drummer suddenly told us decided he wanted to give up drumming and train to become an assistant teacher of underpriveleged kids in Brixton.

OK, you might say laudable on his part, so don't be too harsh Clarky. However:

1. We had just waited for the best part of six months for him to recover from serious hand and face injuries sustained when he decided two guys were on the rob in Woollies and to act as vigilante - whilst also trying out his ju jitsu (he was big into martial arts). You might suggest that this perhaps calls into question the suitability of his temperament for teaching kids?

2. he was actually a brilliant and super-fit drummer, keeping up >150pm time signatures for five minute-plus tracks and we simply could not find anyone else that could replicate his stamina and technical abilities

We spent a year looking for a replacement, getting increasingly p*ssed off (not helped by the fact he owed me money and had one of my CDs, neither to be seen again), and then called it a day. Around a year we learned he had bought an expensive eletronic drum kit and was looking for a band again.

Why does it always seem to be the drummers?

Edit: apologies, my second rant of this afternoon. Bad mood[/quote]
yep it always seems to be the drummers!!guess they dont have the same passion?

[D-L-B]

Not so much let down by anyone in particular but totally underwhelmed by the standard of auditioning vocalists we've had through our practise room in the past 6 months.
I've had moments where they start to sing and I have to just stare at my board because I know if I make eye contact with the others I'll just burst out laughing. Sick of time wasters now, I just tell them straight if they're crap or if we know from the off they're not right.

Edited April 16, 2010 by D-L-B

[danbowskill]

[quote name='Dubs' post='808534' date='Apr 16 2010, 03:57 PM']Unlucky mate, that really sucks. If the material is ready to record and you're tight enough then maybe negociate with him to stay with it until the drum tracks are down?

When I was 18 I had a drummer walk out on the band I was in on the day of our 2nd gig. We played it acoustic and dedicated every song to our "dickhead ex drummer" [/quote]
doubt he will after the things i have said to him (kinda regret it ) but he was quite addiment about his desision?he might have had gripes we didnt know about?
but he can go f88k himself now..........just a big task ahead of us to go over with a new man( a couple of good drummers in mind)!
i have not giged in about 14 months also ,so my fingers are very itchy(has added to me being cheesed off more so with him i think).

i never know might be a blessing in disguise??

[danbowskill]

[quote name='D-L-B' post='808563' date='Apr 16 2010, 04:13 PM']Not so much let down by anyone in particular but totally underwhelmed by the standard of auditioning vocalists we've had through our practise room in the past 6 months.
I've had moments where they start to sing and I have to just stare at my board because I know if I make eye contact with the others I'll just burst out laughing. Sick of time wasters now, I just tell them straight if they're crap or if we know from the off they're not right.[/quote]
ha ha ..had that as well,uncomftable!!some people are delluded!! but you have to be straight!
nothing worse than time wasted!!!!!!!!! grips me

[Low End Bee]

[quote name='danbowskill' post='808566' date='Apr 16 2010, 04:15 PM']i never know might be a blessing in disguise??[/quote]

You have to look at it like that.

It's taken 3 years and 8 different band members to distill our band into the happy and settled trio we are now.

[BassJase]

I think every kind of musician can be flakey and unreliable at times. And I know i've given bullshit reasons for quitting bands in the past a couple of times, its like that "its not you its me" rubbish when you bin someone, when it all honesty its them, you just don't have the balls/anger/merciless tempremant to tell them.

If we all went round saying "well thanks for the last few months, but to be honest I find your music pretty boring and I can't put up with your pathetic egos and inability to listen to anybody else" then we'd all be labelled as @sshole$. (Albeit honest ones.)

[Dubs]

I've never left a band, they always seem to implode around me

[skankdelvar]

Because drummers spend their time hitting things in a frenzy of adrenalin-fuelled - er - frenzy, we incorrectly assume they're bluff, hearty fellows with no more depth than a puddle.

A careful reappraisal of all the drummers with whom I've worked leads me to conclude that they were (nearly all), dark, tortured, passive-aggressive brooders, much given to nursing grudges and silent woe. Unless they were manic, bi-polar flakes running after unrealisable musical ambitions like a crazed dog chasing cars.

It's to do with sitting at the back. Makes 'em insecure. The answer? A big, wet, sloppy kiss at the end of each rehearsal.

[danbowskill]

[quote name='Dubs' post='808586' date='Apr 16 2010, 04:27 PM']I've never left a band, they always seem to implode around me [/quote]
the same,if there are flaws i will always try and work on them.

[Clarky]

[quote name='skankdelvar' post='808594' date='Apr 16 2010, 04:34 PM']The answer? A big, wet, sloppy kiss at the end of each rehearsal.[/quote]
Tongue?

[danbowskill]

[quote name='Clarky' post='808607' date='Apr 16 2010, 04:46 PM']Tongue?[/quote]
and a cheeky pinch on the bum!!

[JTUK]

If you have paid gigs in the offing, then you'll easily pick up a drummer.
Or if the gigs and music is decent, you'll be ok. You need to back yourself and make it his loss.

[Mickeyboro]

Bit like Clarky, we hung around so our drummer could get his arm back working properly (ligaments, I think).

He then decided he'd rather be a dad than drum, having fathered a child in the meanwhile - despite being the youngest grandfather I've met. 'I want to be a better dad this time around' - what can you say to that?

But while this was going on he'd been moonlighting with a previous band!

Drummers, eh? can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em.

[Ancient Mariner]

[quote name='skankdelvar' post='808594' date='Apr 16 2010, 04:34 PM']Because drummers spend their time hitting things in a frenzy of adrenalin-fuelled - er - frenzy, we incorrectly assume they're bluff, hearty fellows with no more depth than a puddle.

A careful reappraisal of all the drummers with whom I've worked leads me to conclude that they were (nearly all), dark, tortured, passive-aggressive brooders, much given to nursing grudges and silent woe. Unless they were manic, bi-polar flakes running after unrealisable musical ambitions like a crazed dog chasing cars.

It's to do with sitting at the back. Makes 'em insecure. The answer? A big, wet, sloppy kiss at the end of each rehearsal.[/quote]

Until you got to the kiss bit I was thinking bout my drummer mate, Steve. Dark, tortured and passive aggressive coupled to the kind of build that is comfy moving wood all day in a lumber yard makes life interesting. Couple that with a short time to boredom (when you're trying to teach the singers something) and an inclination to throw sticks makes for an interesting life (if you can duck quickly).



We're still good mates. I'm wondering if he might want to do something this summer.

Don't think there'll be much kissing - tongues or otherwise - though.

Edited April 16, 2010 by Ancient Mariner

[RhysP]

Never had a problem with drummers (two of the most professional & reliable musicians I know are drummers) but keyboard players tend to be two faced sh*t-stirring treacherous bastards in my experience.....................

[chris_b]

Unfortunately you're living in a world of part-time players and no one should be indispensable. I would guess that most semi pro players don't put the band at the top of any list of commitments. What you need is notice. That should give you time to replace a band member.

Edited April 16, 2010 by chris_b

[danbowskill]

[quote name='chris_b' post='808720' date='Apr 16 2010, 06:03 PM']Unfortunately you're living in a world of part-time players and no one should be indispensable. I would guess that most semi pro players don't put the band at the top of any list of commitments. What you need is notice. That should give you time to replace a band member.[/quote]
exactly,you can live with notice,anyone interested in replacing them will have a feel what your sound is about!

[Marvin]

[quote name='Clarky' post='808542' date='Apr 16 2010, 04:00 PM']Why does it always seem to be the drummers? [/quote]

I thought exactly the same as I read the OP.

It may because they are not musicians and feel somewhat excluded in a band environment.

[D-L-B]

[quote name='Marvin' post='808831' date='Apr 16 2010, 07:45 PM']It may because they are not musicians and feel somewhat excluded in a band environment.[/quote]
We do our utmost to get our drummer involved and keep his attention at every rehearsal. We've got colouring-in books, dot-to-dots, felt-tip pens and crayons, building blocks, Disney videos...

[D-L-B]

[quote name='RhysP' post='808707' date='Apr 16 2010, 05:56 PM']Never had a problem with drummers (two of the most professional & reliable musicians I know are drummers) but keyboard players tend to be two faced sh*t-stirring treacherous bastards in my experience.....................[/quote]
I can't stand bass players, moaning old ninnys, especially when they get together....