Huge Hands Posted March 19 Share Posted March 19 First time I ever went to a blues jam was because the guitarist in our new band somehow thought they would let us get up as band together. That blatantly wasn't the case, but he wasn't one to give up easily. While we all sat there quietly wanting to kill him, he pushed a couple of us to put our names down to show willing. I got called up for a lady singer that appeared to be well known in this jam, and was being treated as if Tina Turner was about to take the stage. She was pretty good to be fair. The house bass player appeared miffed that I wasn't a guitarist, even though I had definitely put my name in the bass player's list. I told him I'd seen him playing guitar on a previous couple of tunes, so could we not swap? Reluctantly, he picked up his guitar. They called the drummer up, and a guy got up wearing sweatbands on his wrists, and doing rock hands with his brand new sticks under his arm. They all seemed to know each other and I figured they had called up the best players (apart from me as they didn't know me) to back their star singer. After a couple of seconds of the guitarist showing me the bass hook he wanted me to play, we were off. It was going ok! I thought - "Hey, I'm enjoying this!". I hit the change to the 4, at the right time with a run. They seemed to like that. Great......until - the drummer decided to do a drum fill..... There was a magical stretching of time where he thought about the fill, worked out what things he was going to hit, then went for it, played an extra 3 beats just to be safe - then went back to the same straight beat (everything but the fill was pretty much solid and in time). Each time he did this, there was this weird pause where we waited for him to finish, then all tried to kick in again. Any trying to be clever and play something under his fill ended in divine embarrassment for me, but oblivion for him and all the while him grinning like a cheshire cat. At the end of this first song, it became apparent that our jam slot was 2 songs, and we would all have to go through that with him again on another one. I suppose at the end of the day it kind of worked, our guitarist kept badgering the jam organiser and they did let us get up as a band, but right at the very end. In summary, I got to play 4 songs, missed my last train home and had to spend a fortune on a taxi..... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rwillett Posted March 19 Share Posted March 19 Apart from that, how was the jam... I've never done a jam session, I'd love to do one, but I'm fairly sure, I'd be a complete plonker and fail miserably, or if somebody was being too cocky and a complete 4r5e, would go postal on them (more likely I'd slink away hoping the ground would swallow me up whole). 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rwillett Posted March 19 Share Posted March 19 Of course the other option I'd have for the 4r5e would be to log into whatever IT systems I could find with their name and destroy their credit history, burn their online identity to the ground, subscribe them to the most godawful websites specialising in adult orientated gardening sites, cancel every credit card they have, update their spotify lists with Blackpink, remove them from the local polls and update their medical record to mention genital herpes, chlamydia and gonorrhea. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinyd Posted March 19 Share Posted March 19 1 hour ago, Geek99 said: I’m always hard on myself. People content with mediocrity rarely prosper I meant it in the sense of "don't beat yourself up about your perceived failures on the night". I agree that striving to be better is a good thing! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tauzero Posted March 19 Share Posted March 19 8 hours ago, Geek99 said: People content with mediocrity rarely prosper Don't knock it, I based an entire career on it. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greg Edwards69 Posted March 20 Share Posted March 20 9 hours ago, tauzero said: Don't knock it, I based an entire career on it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rwillett Posted March 20 Share Posted March 20 I aspire to be that good 😩 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
markbunney Posted March 20 Share Posted March 20 40 minutes ago, Greg Edwards69 said: I need one of these t shirts, that’s hilarious! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
martthebass Posted March 20 Share Posted March 20 Wouldn't sweat it - it's a Jam. I get caught out all the time; I'm filling in on the house band at a local Jam for a few weeks while the normal bassist is recovering from surgery and have had to pick up quite a few songs on the fly. Managed to play a Fratellis song pretty badly last night that I thought I knew, a combination of the less than great monitors and my crap hearing had me playing catch-up on the key through most of the song.......nobody made a comment. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Dare Posted March 20 Share Posted March 20 22 hours ago, Geek99 said: I’m always hard on myself. People content with mediocrity rarely prosper 21 hours ago, Geek99 said: Perhaps but I consider it less likely that they will succeed versus someone with drive So has all the beating yourself up led to your prospering? All the "drive" in the world is no substitute for ability. If you are making basic errors at jam sessions, the answer is practice, practice and more practice, not giving yourself a hard time. In my experience, people who say "I'm hard on myself" often use it as justification to be unpleasant to others. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geek99 Posted March 20 Author Share Posted March 20 6 minutes ago, Dan Dare said: So has all the beating yourself up led to your prospering? All the "drive" in the world is no substitute for ability. If you are making basic errors at jam sessions, the answer is practice, practice and more practice, not giving yourself a hard time. In my experience, people who say "I'm hard on myself" often use it as justification to be unpleasant to others. Kids … house … job 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pseudonym Posted March 20 Share Posted March 20 1 hour ago, Dan Dare said: So has all the beating yourself up led to your prospering? All the "drive" in the world is no substitute for ability. If you are making basic errors at jam sessions, the answer is practice, practice and more practice, not giving yourself a hard time. In my experience, people who say "I'm hard on myself" often use it as justification to be unpleasant to others. 1 hour ago, Geek99 said: Kids … house … job I think Dan's point is that how one feels about a situation is no substitute for what one actually does about a situation. Emotions can help or hinder actions, but they cannot make them happen as if by magic. This applies to most aspects of life, but certainly to situations where levels of performance feel like crucial assessments of your worth as a human being -- which, for the most part, they are not. In any case, good luck with any future jams, and try to remember that even Tom Verlaine could have an off night (I saw it and it was excruciating). 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
markbunney Posted March 20 Share Posted March 20 (edited) 1 hour ago, Geek99 said: Kids … house … job Are there any other local jam nights that you can try instead?? Maybe a different group of musicians would give you a different experience? I worked in Coalville for years, you've got Loughborough & Leicester within easy reach. Don't let a bad experience knock your confidence 👍 Edited March 20 by markbunney 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geek99 Posted March 20 Author Share Posted March 20 Coalville is a bit rubbish for this, which is why I generally refer to it as coalvile 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
markbunney Posted March 20 Share Posted March 20 15 minutes ago, Geek99 said: Coalville is a bit rubbish for this, which is why I generally refer to it as coalvile lol Ive not been there for 15 years, but I know where you are coming from! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Dare Posted March 20 Share Posted March 20 2 hours ago, Geek99 said: Kids … house … job Fair enough, but look. You posted on here about how you were unhappy about the way you played at a session. Being a decent bunch, people on here weighed in with sympathetic comments, sensible advice, etc. The next minute, you are disparaging people with no "drive", etc. Wasting time being "hard on yourself" (and/or others) is completely unproductive. You don't improve by making yourself or others suffer. You improve by working at it. You can't have it both ways. Most of us have or had (some of us are retired now) kids, houses, jobs, bills to pay, etc. It can be difficult to balance all the demands on ones time, but your situation is far from unique. How do you suppose others in your position manage? It's always possible to find half an hour to practice (use headphones so you don't disturb the family). How many hours telly do you watch a week? Knock a couple of hours off that and bingo, there's your practice time. I ditched my telly many years ago, when my daughter went to uni'. Obviously, you cannot do that if you have a family who like to watch it, but you don't have to sit in front of it because they are. I get a hell of a lot more done without that thief of my time sitting in the lounge. You don't have to go to that extreme, but you do have options. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geek99 Posted March 20 Author Share Posted March 20 I don’t watch tv. I never get time. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geek99 Posted March 20 Author Share Posted March 20 1 hour ago, markbunney said: lol Ive not been there for 15 years, but I know where you are coming from! I guarantee it’s not improved Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Dare Posted March 21 Share Posted March 21 6 hours ago, Geek99 said: I don’t watch tv. I never get time. Never ever? This is turning into the Why-don't-you-yes-but game (Eric Berne - Games People Play). Ah well, we tried. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimR Posted March 21 Share Posted March 21 There are 2 aspects playing. The first is your ability to actually play. Technique, ear training, theory knowledge, encyclopedia of standards. The second is playing with people of similar or better ability. The first is fairly simple and you have to get to a certain standard before move the second. There's loads of resources on the Internet. Listen to the radio and 'learn' standard songs in your head. The second is tough when you're first starting out. It's a whole new ball game playing with others, as you have found. You just have to go with the flow. Other musicians will not be playing what you're expecting them to play and you have to adjust to that. Don't beat yourself up, especially at a jam, no one knows what's going on and you're not a mind reader. You're learning how to play with other people. Each person will be different. It's particularly hard if you're playing with musicians who don't have 'big ears'. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geek99 Posted March 21 Author Share Posted March 21 I’m going again tonight, it runs every two weeks. I’ll try and play with the drummer before it starts and see how it goes 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimR Posted March 21 Share Posted March 21 Music is an art. If you want perfection be an aeronautical engineer. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimmyb625 Posted March 21 Share Posted March 21 25 minutes ago, TimR said: Music is an art. If you want perfection be an aeronautical engineer. Unless you work for Boeing... 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reggaebass Posted March 21 Share Posted March 21 34 minutes ago, Geek99 said: I’m going again tonight, it runs every two weeks. I’ll try and play with the drummer before it starts and see how it goes Good for you, the worst that can happen is it doesn’t work out , good luck 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toneknob Posted March 21 Share Posted March 21 1 hour ago, TimR said: Music is an art. If you want perfection be an aeronautical engineer. So there's this 747 on a treadmill 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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