Doctor J Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 [quote name='Rich' timestamp='1320658059' post='1429368'] I know of a bloke who, whilst adopting a similar pose, put the headstock of his Les Paul into a ceiling fan... [/quote] That reminded me of a guitarist of mine who was having trouble with his cheapo Washburn all gig, it kept cutting in and out. Eventually it cut out and wouldn't come back so he half-heartedly tried to break it against the stage. After two limp efforts at smashing it failed he lobbed it, intact, towards the crowd but it they were back a bit and it slammed onto the empty floor in front of them and then, as he copped on to what he had just done, leapt off the front of the stage to get it back Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
12stringbassist Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 The last gig I did with my previous band.... a sax player got up to make tooting, burping and farting noises for the whole of the second spot.... and stood in front of me, using my mic. Arrangements went out of the window. Absolute chaos. The singer was pissed out of his tiny mind and thought it was the best gig we'd ever done. When I parted with the band, I took the guitarist with me. Photos exist of that gig - I can't even bear to look at them 4 months later. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
damian Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 Doing an Iron Maiden tribute thing....wigs, tight pants the whole 9 yards. Used to start by running out from backstage and straight into the Steve Harris patented 'foot on monitor' pose. One time I overshot, got my left foot on the monitor but my momentum carried me straight over and off the stage, at least my wig stayed on. Doing a 60's/70's club band thing, some random woman ran onstage and pulled my trousers down before I knew what was going on. One time I wasn't getting any sound from my rig during soundcheck, plenty of lights on but no sound. Frantically checked everything I could think of and was in the middle of taking apart my wireless receiver when guitarist gently pointed out that I had the volume knob at zero Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyf Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 Mines from one of my very first gigs in my teens when I was playing g*itar. Young and inexperienced woz I, a right young'un. The band was a typically sh*t heavy rock thing, a mixture of originals and a few covers. I had a nightmare of a gig, the guitar I had at the time had a licenced floyd rose which wasn't great at holding tuning. I really had no idea about how to set it up, being a bit of a "tweak it and hope" merchant. After 45 minutes of torment with the solitary disinterested man + dog wanting to get on with his pie and pasty in peace, I hit the last note of the last song, disgustedly threw the guitar onto the stand and stormed out to go sulk in the pub garden. Unfortunately, it wasn't the last song and the rest of the band were still standing in the pub waiting to play another couple of tunes... T Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seashell Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 [quote name='damian' timestamp='1320929260' post='1433259'] One time I overshot, got my left foot on the monitor but my momentum carried me straight over and off the stage, at least my wig stayed on. [/quote] Classic. I would have loved to have seen that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobbytodd Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 (edited) i think mine was about two years ago when just as we were getting ready to play the first song of the night the singer had bent down to tidy up his set list while i had my back to him tuning up.as he stood up i turned and he got my headstock right in his eye leaving a huge gash thorugh his eyebrow the gig got cancled as he had to go to the hospital for stitches Edited November 10, 2011 by bobbytodd Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WalMan Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 (edited) <p>[quote name='dmccombe7' timestamp='1320671366' post='1429670'] Playing a multi-band event with 4 other bands supporting on Boxing Day Bash sort of thing back in 80's we went for our gtr intro "Run Like Hell" from Floyd and would go straight into Time with the lighting set up to provide pin spots during gtr intro and a one button hit for halogen floods behind our 3 piece band when we came in on start of Time. Only problem was the engineers had connected the floods into the same socket as the backline. Lights went off along with all the backline including Simmons drumkit. Being an elec engineer i had to put bass down and scramble about trying to locate the fault. Sorted and carried on regardless. Was still a great night and no-one gave any negative feedback. I guess at £2 a ticket for 5 bands is such great value for money that they simply accepted the odd hiccup. Dave [/quote]Not my lot - we fired flash pots with a 12v battery, but we stall talk of the night a band at the local music venue came on with the big intro for Rosalie. Dry Ice & darkness. The guitar starts Blang everyone comes in on the first splat. Poof the lights come on and the flash pots go off Ping the main fuse blows and the pub descends into darkness Boom splat boom boom splat .........boom...................splat..............crash The drummer realises he's on his own and stops. Edited November 10, 2011 by WalMan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
essexbasscat Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 (edited) Started off my musical career playing Trumpet with the school brass band. I was one of three trumpeteers playing Herb Alpert's Spanish Flea while standing on stage at the yearly concert for all the 500 + parents. The stage was a good 20 - 30 foot wide and we were spread as far apart from each other as possible, so a good clear area around each of us. As we were just about to start, my mates from the pit in front of me whispered up to me - [size=1]"you're flying low" [/size] [size=1][size=3]What ? [/size][/size] [size=1][size=3][size=2]"you're flying low"[/size][/size][/size] [size=1][size=3][size=2][size=3]What ?[/size][/size][/size][/size] [size=1][size=3][size=2][size=3][size=5]You're flying low ![/size][/size][/size][/size][/size] [size=1][size=3][size=2][size=3][size=5][size=2][size=3][size=4]The conductor is grinning as he waves the baton, one two, three.......[/size][/size][/size][/size][/size][/size][/size][/size] The next day in registration, my form teacher reads out my name with the word "flies" between my forename and surname. Where's a hole in the floor when you need one ? I was thirteen years old........ Just the first of an ongoing trail of banana skins and open manhole covers, with no end in sight yet Edited November 10, 2011 by essexbasscat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4 Strings Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 Mine rather added insult to injury. Playing on stage blocks, I used to be the 'movement' one in the band, and the stage blocks parted beneath me. My stance astride got ever wider as the blocks parted, the more I tried to get off one, the more I pushed them apart until I finally had to give up and jump down the hole (fortunately not more than a couple of feet) my strap came off. The insult bit came when, having climbed back to glory, still playing of course but struggling with the bass, I saw the drummer, while warming his upper legs with laughter, nodding to my now gaping fly-hole. Laugh? I nearly did. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamieBenzies Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 A year or two ago I was playing a wedding with my old Jazz fusion band, we were approaching the end of our set when a table of people started drunkenly shouting out 'BASS SOLO' along with such suggestions as 'PLAY SOME JACO'... so feeling slightly empowered by this suggestion and the free champagne and the free cake I had ingested in the break, I decided to let them have it. I started doing a medley of improvisation and a few tunes that I could pitch solo on bass. It was going well, and I could see that people were enjoying themselves, the rest of the band left the stage (unfortunately only to intensify the approaching embarrassment)... after what must have been about 5 minutes, I started playing a Portrait of Tracy to please the aforementioned hecklers. I just hit the middle section where the piece gathers a bit of momentum and gains some pulse when I heard a quiet drum beat from behind me - I looked around to see the drum kit vacant, confused I carried on as the drum beat grew louder and louder, I started to groove along to the drums - by which point I had noticed the douche bag DJ bobbing his handle-bar moustachioed face about above his decks - and then suddenly, and infinitely louder than I was playing boomed out 'CEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELAAAABRATTEE GOOD TIMES COME ON!'. For the first time on stage ever, I just stopped playing and simply grasped my face in agony as Kool and the Gang's 'Celebrate' proceeded to sh*t all over me. Drunk punters started jiggling about, meanwhile my band were pissing themselves off stage and some drunken jazz fusionites where looking very offended. From this I have learnt never to trust DJs, especially you have been warned that they are wrecked on a load of cocaine. This was definitely my most embarrassing moment, although I have just began my career and will have plenty more stories in no time I'm sure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacker Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 Back in the '80s. Used to hit a couple of harmonics at the end of a song and 'bend' them by holding the body on my Status and pushing the neck. Did it at a gig one night and the strap broke, sendin the Status roght onto one of those old cast iron-foored mic stands, gouging the upper horn of the bass. Well fkn embarassed! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
farmer61 Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 Playing and singing Truely, Madly Deeply as a first dance at a wedding........painful for all involved.....! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BT! Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 First show with a new band - Slipt on a cup of water and screwed up my knee. Spent the rest of the set on one knee. Halloween show with the same band - Repeat of the water incident but this time caught my head on the bass drum as i came down and knocked myself out for 2 minutes. This was the result Other than that just occasional accidents like hitting the tuner at the same time as another pedal Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4 Strings Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 Great signature pic, Farmer61! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bilbo Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 Having felt iffy all evening at a jazz gig in Berkshire, I had to put my bass down mid-tune to run out and projectile vomit all over the toilets - sink, floor, mirrors etc (I was told I could be heard). Then, feeling like s***, had to clean it up. I then went to sleep in the van, convinced I was dying. Food poisoning (I don't drink or do drugs). Band finished without me and, to their credit, I still got paid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the_skezz Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 (edited) Trying to hit on a lass who I'd been talking to before playing, at one point in between songs I stepped up to the microphone to encourage her to come forward and dance a bit as she'd agreed to beforehand. Apparently, it is not advisory to drink heavily before such actions (though my playing was still on form) and apparently I came across less charming and witty and more heavily agressive There was also the time that I dropped my kegs and played several songs with only the bass covering up my modesty before throwing on some women's underwear that my mate had given me before the gig. Though that was far less embarrassing than the fact that the rest of the band took a smoke break seven songs in, so it didn't phase me too much on reflection. Edited November 15, 2011 by the_skezz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4 Strings Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 [quote name='BT!' timestamp='1321280708' post='1437244'] First show with a new band - Slipt on a cup of water and screwed up my knee. Spent the rest of the set on one knee. Halloween show with the same band - Repeat of the water incident but this time caught my head on the bass drum as i came down and knocked myself out for 2 minutes. This was the result Other than that just occasional accidents like hitting the tuner at the same time as another pedal [/quote] Great stuff - PROOF of embarrassment! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duncbassgit Posted November 15, 2011 Author Share Posted November 15, 2011 [b][font=times new roman, times, serif][i]I thought this thread would be good![/i][/font][/b] [b][font=times new roman, times, serif][i]What I didn't realise is, my god what a wild bunch of party animals us bassists are!![/i][/font][/b] [b][font=times new roman, times, serif][i]Stood at the back, quietly glued to the drummer.......not so.[/i][/font][/b] [b][font=times new roman, times, serif][i]Bring it on UK Bassplayers, - vomit ,tits, vandalising ceilings, audience diving, live affairs on stage, stripping, exposure, Superb write ups!![/i][/font][/b] [b][font=times new roman, times, serif][i]Rock'n roll just brings out the funniest things in show biz. [/i][/font][/b] [b][font=times new roman, times, serif][i]Dunc[/i][/font][/b] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mxm Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 I'd like to join the headstock club - mine was through a Greenhouse during an outdoors gig, was very very uncle roger drunk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
petercullenbassist Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 having a 8x10 fall on me during a bass solo, stood on the lead! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
charic Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 [quote name='petercullenbassist' timestamp='1321563106' post='1440785'] having a 8x10 fall on me during a bass solo, stood on the lead! [/quote] Ouch! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
algmusic Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 Turning up with a bass and amp and only to find they wanted me to play drums on that gig.... That NEVER happened again.. I [b]always check [/b] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
12stringbassist Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 (edited) I'd also throw in playing at a Licensed Victualers function near Lancaster a number of years ago. I won't name the venue, as someone could be really upset if it turned up on Google. The 60's cabaret band I was playing with at the time noticed a disturbance about 60 feet away in the distance across the dancefloor and someone motioned for us to stop playing. One of the guitarists walked over to have a look and came back to pronounce that some poor chap had keeled over at the edge of the dancefloor. It didn't look at all good: "Brown bread" he said. Oh Sh*t. We stayed around the stage as a few people rushed around to sort things out. The DJ who we worked with quite regularly when we played there was taking advantage of the fact that his ever-present girlfriend wasn't there that night and was esconsed upstairs in a room, "conversing at length" in a redced-clothing situation with another young lady. He wasn't around to put any quiet mood music on, so the organisers asked us to carry on playing. The scene across the dance floor was looking worse. Chap not getting up, his wife was hysterical, not at all good or at all conducive to playing. BUT, we soldiered on as instructed, to the disbelief of about 75 of the punters. Some callous pigs actually were dancing within 10 feet of the guy, while his wife could be heard crying above the band. Appalling. Next song on list - Heartbeat. I don't think so... Fortunately, the Ambulance people came in, waved quite firmly for us to stop as they entered. That was it, game over. Never have I been so relieved to see the uniforms turn up. Edited November 18, 2011 by 12stringbassist Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bassninja Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 [quote name='RhysP' timestamp='1319925545' post='1420282'] First gig I ever played was an all dayer in West Sussex. We were on immediately before China Crisis who were headlining so we had a pretty decent sized crowd. All day there had been this crazy drunk woman wandering round the site making a pain in the arse of herself - at one point she walked over to me & kicked me in the back for no reason whatsoever while I was sat on the floor. She quickly became known as "Cider Woman". We were a couple of numbers into our set when I noticed she was standing right in front of my monitor, so when it came to an instrumental bit I went to the front of the stage & struck my best Phil Lynott pose with my bass neck pointing out over her head. Quick as a flash her hands shot upwards & grabbed the neck of my bass & tried to pull me off the stage. I tried to pull the bass away from her but she had a grip like a f***ing tyre fitter! The only thing I could think to do, and I'm very ashamed to admit this, was kick her in the face. Luckily she must have read my mind & relaxed her grip leaving me to go stumbling back across the stage just in time to start singing the next verse of the song. [/quote] Bat & Ball, Loxwood? I...ahem...think I may have been on the bill too Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RhysP Posted November 19, 2011 Share Posted November 19, 2011 (edited) [quote name='bassninja' timestamp='1321653376' post='1441783'] Bat & Ball, Loxwood? I...ahem...think I may have been on the bill too [/quote] It most certainly was. Who were you playing with then? I've still got a programme from the gig knocking around somewhere. If you were the guy with the Wal playing with the soul/funk band I was talking to you for a while before you went on. Edited November 19, 2011 by RhysP Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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