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Depressing things your bandmates say.


arthurhenry

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[quote name='TheRev' timestamp='1318195374' post='1399168']
From guitard in an old band while setting up at a pub gig:

Guitard: "I've forgotten my guitar stand, did you bring a spare?"
Me: "Why would I bring an extra guitar stand?"
Guitard: "Just thought you might. Did you bring the PA, the pub doesn't have one" Note: We didn't own a PA, we borrowed or hired as needed.
Me: "you didn't tell me to bring a PA - if you knew that there wasn't a PA, why didn't you tell me yesterday?"
Guitard: "I just assumed that you'd bring a PA in case we needed one."
Me: I have to bring my bass rig, 3 basses and 3 stands, why would I bring a PA unless I had to?"
Guitard: "Oh, you've got three stand - have you got a spare?"
[/quote]

Best one yet! So... did you let him use one?

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[list=1]
[*]I'm looking forward to this. I haven't practicised since we last rehearsed, so it's good to get back into it
[*]I don't think we need to know what we should sound like - just let the songs flow
[*]I can't make rehearsal
[*]We could do a gig right now
[*]I think the EQ is fine
[*]I can hear the bass just fine
[/list]
You can't hear the bass at all, you bellend, as you insist on being at every audible frequency with your cackhanded guitar playing.

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"I knew you wouldn't mind but I went back to the studio on my own and re-did my vocals. I kind of whisper the whole song now.
I also kinda got the producer to put some spooky keys on it too.You know? Like a kids piano type of thing. Oh and some rain & thunder sound effects, They really ramp up the vibe.
That all? Oh yeah there was a chick screaming and some gun shots. The mix is great I got him to put some filthy fuzz on your bass track too. Sounds awesome. I didn't put the church bell on in the end. Don't want to overdo it do we?
Don't worry it didn't come out of band funds and We didn't waste any time 'cause I got him to send the master straight off......

Why are you all looking at me like that?"

No exaggeration either.

The beginning of the end of the previous band :)

Edited by Low End Bee
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At rehearsal for a covers band:

Guitarist - I've learn't the live version with the extra verse and two extended solos in.
Rest of Band - Ok, so when we all agreed (last week) to learn the studio version you were actually lying when you said you would?
Guitarist - No I meant to learn the studio version but then my mate said the live one is better.

and..

When the drummer repeatedly messes up the intro to a song and suggests - 'I think it'll sound better if we all come in together'
No it won't, just sort out your drum part.....

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[quote name='damian' timestamp='1318247107' post='1399578']
At rehearsal for a covers band:

Guitarist - I've learn't the live version with the extra verse and two extended solos in.
Rest of Band - Ok, so when we all agreed (last week) to learn the studio version you were actually lying when you said you would?
Guitarist - No I meant to learn the studio version but then my mate said the live one is better.

and..

When the drummer repeatedly messes up the intro to a song and suggests - 'I think it'll sound better if we all come in together'
No it won't, just sort out your drum part.....
[/quote]

Great first post, chief! Welcome in! :)

At least yours tells you... if this thread were called "Depressing things your bandmates [i]do[/i]" I would add that one in - when the guitarist has decided to rehearse a different version of a song and it only becomes apparent when the chorus dies a death of mixed notes and expletives.

It's even more galling if you wrote the song.

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[quote name='ROConnell' timestamp='1318228114' post='1399301']
When a drummer goes: "Yeah try that in a different key."

Shut up.
[/quote]

Er as someone who also plays drums and guitar, I've had to say that, as the rest of the band couldn't seem to realise the singer couldn't handle the key.. not all drummers are stupid!! well except me..

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had rehearsal with my old band the night before a gig, i'd just joined so we decided that we wouldn't play "misery business" by Paramore as i didn't even know the song

at the gig the following night, singer turns round "we need to add another song in"

me - "we can put in (original song) as it's one we all know"

singer - "nah...let's do misery business"

me - "i dno't even know that song"

singer - "oh yeah...let's do misery business"

me - "woah lads hold..."

1-2-3-4

this lead to a very awkward four minutes or so :)

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When you're the dep bassist and you spent hours learning the songs perfectly, you nail the first 5 songs and you're relaxed.. you start the next song and the band are playing something completely different to you.. You look at the guitarist in horror and start playing root notes to cover up all wrong notes... you're a nervous wreak. You speak to the original bassist about the gig the next day..

' oh didn't I tell you we play that revision?' grrr

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[quote name='mrdreadful' timestamp='1318021561' post='1397476']
A lot of this stuff sounds pretty reasonable cause for sadtimes... a lot of it just seems to be snobbish bitching; pretty much why I'm increasingly growing to hate the internet. Seriously, if the drummer wants to write a song or one of the band members actually has a life outside of the band and thus cannot commit to everything instantly: get the f**k over it... if you were so brilliant you'd be multi-platinum and doing magazine interviews not moaning on some forum.
[/quote]

FWIW, my quip about the drummer writing songs was a comment on a little foible of the drummer of my band. He's the best drummer I know by some distance, having got a degree in drumming and teaching for a living. He contributes hugely to songwriting in terms of really interesting beats and ideas for arrangements, it just so happens that on the occasions he's tried bringing us a song he'd written on guitar they've been rubbish!

Who knows, maybe one day he'll turn up with a brilliant song - regardless I still intend to be in a band with him!

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I got parachuted in to help a friend out at a last minute gig and got told to learn a list of songs. I spent a good few hours learning 'Closer' by Nine Inch Nails, getting in spot on and turned up to practice. They'd all learnt the Richard Cheese version and neglected to tell me. Fortunately, the Richard Cheese version is really easy and it was for a burlesque gig so my patience was rewarded with boobies.

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[quote name='Shawman' timestamp='1318250575' post='1399649']
had rehearsal with my old band the night before a gig, i'd just joined so we decided that we wouldn't play "misery business" by Paramore as i didn't even know the song

at the gig the following night, singer turns round "we need to add another song in"

me - "we can put in (original song) as it's one we all know"

singer - "nah...let's do misery business"

me - "i dno't even know that song"

singer - "oh yeah...let's do misery business"

me - "woah lads hold..."

1-2-3-4

this lead to a very awkward four minutes or so :)
[/quote]

To be honest I think a band playing a cover of Paramore would be enough to see me out the door immediately.

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[quote name='bungle' timestamp='1318254387' post='1399697']

FWIW, my quip about the drummer writing songs was a comment on a little foible of the drummer of my band. He's the best drummer I know by some distance, having got a degree in drumming and teaching for a living. He contributes hugely to songwriting in terms of really interesting beats and ideas for arrangements, it just so happens that on the occasions he's tried bringing us a song he'd written on guitar they've been rubbish!

Who knows, maybe one day he'll turn up with a brilliant song - regardless I still intend to be in a band with him!
[/quote]


OK Ok.. I think the drummer thing is getting a bit outta hand.. I think the issues you speak with drummers is like any other musician is if they don't know their instrument and more importantly how it relates to music or even understand music.

It really annoys my when people think that a drummer only knows about time and 'beats'. If the drummer is a musician he/she will have an understanding of pitch, notes, chords and arrangements to some degree as well as time. I'm actually a drummer, bassist and guitarist (ish) and I think drummers fall in the same hole when they don't learn the basics of music which actually includes pitch and the relation to other music. When I taught drums, I'd always encouraged my students to play pitched instruments as it turns them into a musician rather than a drummer. I also relate things to pitch and melody as well as time in lessons. I think as bassist we gotta think how many times people say 'playing bass is easy, there's only 4 strings' and 'just play the root notes and shut up, you don't even play chords'.

Rant over.. I know most of this is a joke, but maybe the drummer side of me is getting sensitive :) :)

Edited by algmusic
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[quote name='algmusic' timestamp='1318258398' post='1399765']


...

Rant over.. I know most of this is a joke, but maybe the drummer side of me is getting sensitive :) :)
[/quote]

Yep. You need to realise there is a big difference between a drummer, and a musician who can drum.

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This really depressed me:

19 year-old guitarist comes to a jam/audition with us. Unpacking his kit, he says:

"I looked at those songs you mentioned by that band called Police. I'd never heard of them until I YouTubed those songs - they were quite good, weren't they?"

I felt so very old.

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[quote name='Ian Savage' timestamp='1318260080' post='1399797']
What about when he's not playing ANY of them, which IME is when 90% of accidental damage to guitars happens? :)
[/quote]

Exactly! He was also one of those guitarists who sets their guitar case down in the middle of the stage, gets the guitar out and then leaves the case in the middle of the stage for everyone to walk around..
I did suggest he put his guitar in the case between sets, but he wanted a stand because it looked more 'rock'

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[quote]I don't want to play there. It's a shitole[/quote] - But everywhere we play is
[quote]I don't want to play there it's a bit rough[/quote] - ditto
[quote]We've not got many gigs coming up[/quote] - feel free to get involved in dealing with landlords
[quote]We'll never fit in there[/quote] - well perhaps we could get by without the full PA
and on and on

And then with a different band

[quote]### can't make it to r/h. He's got things to do at home[/quote] - this at 09:30 on the morning of a r/h starting @ 10:00 that has been in the diary for a good month or so

[quote]I didn't know anything about these gigs[/quote] - same guy a week before the first of two despite emails having been flying around about them, related r/h's and new songs to work on, the excuse being wifey had filed them without him seeing them. GAH!

Ah well. It still gets me out of the dumps when we actually all get together and fired up 'cos generally it all just works, and especially if it happens to be a proggy epic that sounds huge I feel better for a bit of music therapy

Edited by WalMan
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