onemanband Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 (edited) Hi, Early last year, I was quite happily playing a sort of semi-acoustic mix of covers and original tunes as a three piece (two guitars and occasional drummer or self recorded drum track). One guitar left for other projects, drummer couldn't really "cut the mustard" so departed, so that left us working as a duo (acoustic or with occasional drum track). Since then the we've been joined by another guitar and drummer, and here's the problem..........the drummer and I just do not get on, both musically and [b]personally, [/b]and I don't think we will. As this has also resulted in the musical direction moving away from the original project I have decided to walk away.....so, has this ever happened to you?? Edited February 20, 2013 by onemanband Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xilddx Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Wot, posting things three times? Yep Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xilddx Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 [quote name='onemanband' timestamp='1361319827' post='1984679'] Hi, Early this year, I was quite happily playing a sort of semi-acoustic mix of covers and original tunes with as a three piece (two guitars and occasional drummer or self recorded drum track). One guitar left for other projects, drummer couldn't really "cut the mustard" so departed, so that left us working as a duo (acoustic or with occasional drum track). Since then the we've been joined by another guitar and drummer, and here's the problem..........the drummer and I just do not get on, both musically and [b]personally, [/b]and I don't think we will. As this has also resulted in the musical direction moving away from the original project I have decided to walk away.....so, has this ever happened to you?? [/quote] Go for a few beers together, get to know for sure. A lot of music comes from personal tensions, you can learn a lot from each other. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
onemanband Posted February 20, 2013 Author Share Posted February 20, 2013 Yeah, sorry about that, bloody trackpad froze on the laptop so I hit it three times and it must of registered three times Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
icastle Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 [quote name='xilddx' timestamp='1361320052' post='1984682'] Wot, posting things three times? Yep [/quote] Fixed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brensabre79 Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 It always takes time for a new line up to settle down, bands are like families in a way and when you lose a member it can be devastating, or liberating. When new people come along you can't hold it against them if they are not into the same things as the old people, you have to work to their strengths as well, but they also have to work to the bands ethos. You would not get a shred guitarist to join a folk band without expecting a major shift in style... I'm not sure of the arrangement in your band, but it sounds like you've either got the wrong replacements for the bands style, or the style has changed and you're left behind. If you don't like the new style, or the new people then maybe it is time to either find new people, or find a new band... I'm assuming its an originals band, in which case who writes the songs? At the end of the day, if they like the way its going and you don't, then it's time to move onwards. If they don't like the way its going either then you need to get new members. We have just recruited our third drummer this year (I think this one is the right choice, but it may work out differently), and our second lead guitarist, both to replace a long standing line up. I can already see that about a quarter of the set just isn't going to work the same way and will have to change - but this is a covers band, and we can change the material to suit the musicians. With originals it should be the other way around. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commando Jack Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 I've never been in a position where I couldn't get on with someone to the point that I walked. I went for an audition/interview for a new band in which it was basically me and the band leader. I told him up front that I hadn't met/played with the drummer yet and as such felt obligated to warn him that it is imperative that the bassist/drummer partnership can get on together, meaning that if the drummer and I didn't get on musically he might be better to find another bass player. Of course, everything worked out fine and we get on quite well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mart Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Didn't the drummer and bassist in REM start off hating each other? They seem to have managed to resolve their differences ... So yes, it does happen, and sometimes it's the end, and sometimes it isn't. You have to decide which it is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chris_b Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 (edited) [quote name='brensabre79' timestamp='1361356163' post='1984892'] ....it sounds like you've either got the wrong replacements for the bands style, or the style has changed and you're left behind. If you don't like the new style, or the new people then maybe it is time to either find new people, or find a new band.... [/quote] +1 This has happened to me many times. If they're any good new members will always change the dynamic of the band and that's what you want. We're not there to be mates but to play the best music we can. Don't throw your toys out. If you don't like the musical direction moving on a bit with a new drummer, it'll move a whole lot more if you join a different band. Edited February 20, 2013 by chris_b Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flyfisher Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 In one of the bands I play in, the drummer left because he wasn't happy with the stuff we were playing. Fair enough. It was a good thing really because he wasn't interested, would just read the paper between songs during rehearsals and tended to play too fast just to get things over with. So it was for the best really. Trouble is, he was a very good drummer. The replacement was a friend of one of the band and wasn't properly auditioned before he was 'in'. But he's a lovely guy, very keen, loves our stuff and is very supportive. Trouble is, he's not a great drummer. Bands are funny things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chris_b Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 I can deal with people I don't like, but I can't deal with bad drummers! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discreet Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 [quote name='chris_b' timestamp='1361358050' post='1984934'] I can deal with people I don't like, but I can't deal with bad drummers! [/quote] Ha yes, the mistake is in thinking they are one and the same. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flyfisher Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Well yes, but is an 'OK' drummer with a great personality better than a great drummer who is also an @rseole? Depends on the circumstances I guess but most things in life are a compromise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thisnameistaken Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Yeah I've left bands because I didn't like someone in the band. I've done it two or three times! Life's too short. Similarly I've left bands because the music went in a direction I wasn't really into. Again, I only have so much spare time and I don't want to spend it all doing something I don't really like. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacqueslemac Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 [quote name='onemanband' timestamp='1361319827' post='1984679'] and here's the problem..........the drummer and I just do not get on, both musically and [b]personally, [/b]and I don't think we will. As this has also resulted in the musical direction moving away from the original project I have decided to walk away.....so, has this ever happened to you?? [/quote] Late last year the drummer in our band walked. We used a couple of deps for two gigs we had booked and I offered up the names of two other drummers I've played with. Unfortunately, lead guitar decided to shoehorn in one of his mates (who also knows Guitar No2), without an audition. Since then, his chosen drummer has improved a lot (he needed to and is obviously putting the effort in) and we've done a couple of gigs without too many cock-ups. Trouble is, he doesn't listen to a thing anyone else is playing (and often we finish the song a couple of bars before he notices). So, I find I don't get on with him musically at all (our band doesn't have a rhythm section at all, at the moment, just two people doing something similar) and I find him an arrogant self-important little idiot. I've not walked yet, but I don't find it anywhere as much fun as when I had a drummer I could really lock in with (even if she did come up with some fills that walked all over mine!). ...and don't get me started on his choice of songs to cover! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discreet Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 [quote name='Jacqueslemac' timestamp='1361377955' post='1985017'] ...he doesn't listen to a thing anyone else is playing (and often we finish the song a couple of bars before he notices)... I find him an arrogant self-important little idiot... ...and don't get me started on his choice of songs to cover! [/quote] I'm never quite sure if being in [i]any [/i]band is better than being in [i]no[/i] band, but given the above circumstances (and the fact that you seem to be outnumbered), I'd be doing one pretty sharpish. YMMV, IMHO, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacqueslemac Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Yeah, I know what you mean. Trouble is, we have a few gigs coming up, have learned quite a few songs together, have even developed a few of our own arrangements (our versions of Toxic and Genie in a Bottle go down well and are fun to play) and the annoyances of rehearsal nights seem to fade away when we're actually performing. And I have a one-quarter share in the PA. Doesn't stop me keeping an eye open for another band more aligned to what I'm after, mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jezzaboy Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 I have left a band because I couldn`t put up with the singers attitude and I was one of the founders of the band and the driving force at first. And I have left another due to the crap music (IMO) we were playing. And the drummer was crap as well and they ended up getting shot of him. But I am on friendly terms with all my ex bandmates, which is just as well as you will more than likely meet up with them at studios or gigs. At the end of the day, if you are doing music for fun and it stops being fun, you have to go with your insticts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cat Burrito Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 I think all musicians wind up seeing a band at some point move away from what it started out as and equally we all work with people we don't like so much at some point - so yes to both those. Try and resolve it and if you can't and it bothers you, walk. I've done this for 25yrs now. The next band can always be better. I'm currently playing what I want & like everyone in the band which is why I'm 4yrs in with this lot Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheRev Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Someone once said 'It takes a great drummer to be better than no drummer' No idea who it was- I think it's someone's signature either here or on Talkbass. Anyway, if you really don't like him and really can't play with him, then one of you has to go before it gets violent. It's the only way I'm afraid I walked out on a band five minutes after we finished our first gig as a trio. The Drummer was a really nice guy but just couldn't play and actual rhythm. The guitarist and I had been together for a year or so but he was starting ot get on my t*ts as his timing was rubbish, he never listened to anyone else and because he always sang uber-loud (people often said he sounded like Eddie Vedder so he started to believe the hype.....) he would regularly wreck his voice and we would have to cancel gigs. All of this added up to a complete waste of my time and a sonic embarrassment, so I ran away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lojo Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Sometimes you just have to go with your instincts, sometimes we ignore them to save conflict, but you pay in the future anyway and waste your time along the way Easier said than done though .. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discreet Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 (edited) [quote name='TheRev' timestamp='1361383617' post='1985132'] ...this added up to a complete waste of my time and a sonic embarrassment, so I ran away. [/quote] [size=4] Been there! As I'm sure most of us have at some point or other.[/size] [size=4]Edit: The Sonic Embarrassment. Great band name.[/size] Edited February 20, 2013 by discreet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
onemanband Posted February 21, 2013 Author Share Posted February 21, 2013 (edited) Some interesting posts, thank you! It's not a case of "throwing toys out of the pram", more just two personalities that clash and a change in musical direction. Having looked at the posts and having had 24hrs to cool off, I've decided to walk and see what else crops up! Thanks all for your input although any more comments gratefully received!! PS, just wondered, is there a forum out there somewhere where drummers are haranguing bass players? Edited February 21, 2013 by onemanband Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BILL POSTERS Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 (edited) I played in a reasonably successful covers band for two years and never had a single conversation with the drummer. It turned out that one of the the guitarists had been shitstirring all along, while coming across as the nice guy. Wish I could say the the drummer turned out to be OK, but actually he was an asshole. It got so bad that any gigs I found, he would always be unable to make it, more than once crying off just a few days beforeand making out he hadnt been asked etc. I just got fed up of the bad atmosphere in the end and walked. It just wasnt worth the stress. You cant get on with everybody you come across in life. Edited February 21, 2013 by BILL POSTERS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmccombe7 Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 Maybe a slightly different view on things but i play mainly for my own enjoyment (its a hobby to me) and quite simply if i aint enjoying it then no point doing it in my opinion. Different if you are in it to make money as well as enjoying. I left a band last year mainly because they were almost physically fighting and at 45-50 yrs of age you don't really expect that kind of behaviour. Disagreements and debates yes but not fighting as such. Musically i got on pretty well with them and enjoyed playing the choice of songs. Shame really but that's life and i moved on. Been with few bands since and haven't really settled altho current set up is pretty exciting to date. I would agree in trying to resolve any issues up to a point where you need to draw a line and say "enough is enough" Dave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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