Quitting before you’ve started…

[AndyTravis]

Oh my…weird few months.

 

As my old band Fiasco Jam was causing me issues - detailed elsewhere…

 

I agreed to help a mates band out - they’re well known in Manchester and have a really decent following…

 

They’ve been on hiatus for a while and their old bass player moved back home to Italy so they were stuck.

 

I wanted an “out” from FJ so I wrote 4 songs for them and agreed to join.

 

Fiasco Jam folded and the singer and Drummer asked me to carry on.

 

”this is great, I can do both” I thought…

 

Things have changed - work gave me a promotion, which is good…but is chewing time.

 

The build is ongoing and costing…and stressful.

 

My dad’s been in hospital, mum not doing great…

 

mother in law seems to be in rapid decline.

 

I have just “quit” the new band - no big show, but I’ve prioritised myself; I’ve spent a day learning their setlist for a gig next month.

 

reassuringly 3 of the tunes I wrote are on the list - but I must say the old stuff isn’t really my cup of tea.

 

I’ve sent the message, the rehearsal will be awkward tomorrow but they’ve got 5 weeks if they’re not ok with me helping out to find someone else.

 

That’s fine by me if they do.

 

I’ve offered to transcribe and video any lines I’ve done to help and record the EP for them if they want me to.

 

But I think I feel reassured that it’s the right shout.

Edited Saturday at 19:42 by AndyTravis

[ezbass]

29 minutes ago, AndyTravis said:

My dad’s been in hospital, mum not doing great…

 

mother in law seems to be in rapid decline.

Sorry to hear the above, Andy. Never rains but it pours. 

[AndyTravis]

4 minutes ago, ezbass said:

Sorry to hear the above, Andy. Never rains but it pours. 

Yeah - do you know, everything will work out as it’s meant to.

 

starting to realise we have zero control over much.

[LukeFRC]

Two years into a house building project that’s nearing the end of- it’s bloody stressful for everyone - you gotta take care of yourself 

[Beedster]

There's always time for other bands later on mate, you're going through some far more important stuff at the moment and you need to give yourself the space and capacity to deal with that stuff from a full hand so to speak. Playing bass should always reduce stress, not add to it.

 

Band or no band, you will of course need to ensure there's a bass within your reach at all times however. Good luck mate 👍

[AndyTravis]

3 minutes ago, Beedster said:

There's always time for other bands later on mate, you're going through some far more important stuff at the moment and you need to give yourself the space and capacity to deal with that stuff from a full hand so to speak. Playing bass should always reduce stress, not add to it.

 

Band or no band, you will of course need to ensure there's a bass within your reach at all times however. Good luck mate 👍

Oh mate - I’m still playing, I’m just choosing what to play.

 

The band in question have responded that I’m not actually allowed to quit…🫣

[Steve Browning]

35 minutes ago, Beedster said:

There's always time for other bands later on mate, you're going through some far more important stuff at the moment and you need to give yourself the space and capacity to deal with that stuff from a full hand so to speak. Playing bass should always reduce stress, not add to it.

 

Band or no band, you will of course need to ensure there's a bass within your reach at all times however. Good luck mate 👍

Absolutely this!!

[ezbass]

34 minutes ago, AndyTravis said:

Oh mate - I’m still playing, I’m just choosing what to play.

As it should be.

[police squad]

Andy, you must do what's right for you. You've given fair notice so they'll be ok.

Don't stress about it, you have enough going on

[bassbiscuits]

Sounds like a good decision. You’ve got a lot going on there, and well done for realising the need to take care of yourself in the mix. You can’t help other people if you’re already burnt out yourself etc. 

 

I hope things improve and get back on track. 
 

We are all replaceable in bands/gigs etc but not replaceable in our own families and lives. 

[AndyTravis]

“You’re not allowed to quit…”

[LukeFRC]

28 minutes ago, AndyTravis said:

“You’re not allowed to quit…”

You might have got away with it if you hadn’t been flashing photos of that strat all over your socials 🤣

[snorkie635]

50 minutes ago, AndyTravis said:

“You’re not allowed to quit…”

Millions of years ago, I was given the very same line from my, at that time, boss.

 

My response was simply: "You just watch me!" (And I was gone).

 

Prioritise what's right for you Andy.

[peteb]

20 hours ago, AndyTravis said:

Oh mate - I’m still playing, I’m just choosing what to play.

 

The band in question have responded that I’m not actually allowed to quit…🫣

 

When it comes down to it, you have to do what you need to do. However, it's pretty likely that the band are going to be (quite understandably ) p*ssed off and it won't do your reputation for reliability any good. 

 

[LukeFRC]

6 minutes ago, peteb said:

 

When it comes down to it, you have to do what you need to do. However, it's pretty likely that the band are going to be (quite understandably ) p*ssed off and it won't do your reputation for reliability any good. 

 

@AndyTravis - you tend to put a lot of your energy into your bands - is there an option of them getting you but more as a "he's a sound guy and great bass player, inderstandably focuses more on his family and job but we're lucky to have him" type deal? 

 

[AndyTravis]

11 minutes ago, peteb said:

 

When it comes down to it, you have to do what you need to do. However, it's pretty likely that the band are going to be (quite understandably ) p*ssed off and it won't do your reputation for reliability any good. 

 

They’re not pissed off - they’re just gutted.

 

I’m not worried about my reputation for reliability in this instance - several factors to consider…

 

This is originals, unpaid and initially a favour anyhow.

 

Even after last nights announcement I was first to arrive, by a significant margin to today’s rehearsal.

 

I’ve learned 10 songs for them and written 4.

 

They’re all demoed to a high standard so can be used as guide tracks should they wish to use them.

 

I haven’t left them in the lurch, I’ve made myself available for their rehearsals and the only booking they currently have.

 

I don’t need to stress about my reputation - the initial contact was based upon my reputation/word of mouth/seeing and hearing me - they asked if I could help rearrange and write some tunes for their new EP.

“If you feel like its a task too many i do truly understand but i would like you involved 
Even if its just for feedback and banter mate”

 

I’ll be ok…

[AndyTravis]

1 hour ago, LukeFRC said:

@AndyTravis - you tend to put a lot of your energy into your bands - is there an option of them getting you but more as a "he's a sound guy and great bass player, inderstandably focuses more on his family and job but we're lucky to have him" type deal? 

 

I think that’s their aim - all nice lads, I just want to have some headspace, and 2 bands isn’t going to do that.

 

I should’ve said no. Probably. But it’s not really in my nature.

[TimAl]

You can't give what you don't have chief; take some me-time to prioritise how to get back to making life make you and yours happy 😉

Yeah yeah, easy said I know 🙄