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Any regrets through you musical existance


dabootsy
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Realising the more I learn, the more I realise I don't know, and the more I learn the more I actually enjoy my playing...

which in turn makes me...

...wish that in my teens I'd been more serious about my playing
...wish I'd bought a decent bass and rig while I had the chance in the days when I was still living at home with nowt else to spend money on
...wish I'd bought a decent bass and rig while I had the chance in the days before marriage
...wish I'd bought a decent bass and rig while I had the chance in the days BC (Before Children)
...wish that in my 20's I'd been more serious about my playing
...wish that in my 30's I'd been more serious about my playing
...wish I hadn't put my bass in the loft for 8 years in the early 90's (just married. Other priorities...)
...wish I'd booked lessons years ago when I first thought about it, and thinking how much further on I'd be by now!

But - ya can't go back, only forwards. I'm trying to redeem the time and get back on track, but I'm also with BBC and Dillsfretless above, at 45, I don't have the confidence to join a band yet - and not being funny or anything - after Sunday's Bash I'm even MORE aware of how crap I am, and how good I could be if I practice 25 hours a day 8 days a week 60 weeks a year for the next 17,000 years. Might get somewhere close anyway... Trying very hard to use it as an inspiration and not see it an an unatainable skill level. Honest!

I haven't really played in a proper band since my late teens, but I do play in church now alternate Sundays. Not quite the same thing but I enjoy it and the guy leading last Sunday is a bit rocky, technically very good and quite demanding, so I was stretched more than usual which was good, but I made up a good bluesey riff that he liked and we used and had a fun time.

WLT get together with other musicians to jam, play blues or rock and simply just have fun. And beer. Spoke to a friend at work today who's a guitarist in the same boat - so together with my new little robodrummer friend we're going to have a Saturday afternoon in my study of Quo and AC/DC, and other simple stuff we can both play (and remember!).

And beer.

Edited by FJ1200
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[quote name='David Nimrod' post='167133' date='Mar 31 2008, 07:29 PM']All I can say to that is:-

If I can do it, you can do it.

Now go and do it!!! :huh:[/quote]
+1. I'm 44, in one band, looking to join another and standing in for a third. I'd be classed as cr*p by most people on here -- I depend on a good ear and reasonable timing.

Get out there and find someone to jam with. You'll feel so much better :)

Cheers

Mark

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[quote name='Dillsfretless' post='167131' date='Mar 31 2008, 07:27 PM']At my age I seriously don't think I'd have the confidence to play anything with other people.[/quote]
In my last band we were all rubbish on our instruments, but that didn't stop us notching up over 60 gigs in 18 months.

The biggest joke is that all you self-doubters are probably much more proficient than I'll ever be. If it wasn't for playing music with other people I wouldn't play at all. I never practice on my own, always with others.

Someone once said to me: "Once you join a band you're playing will start to improve much faster". He was right.
You will learn a lot (both good & bad) from other musicians.
The first step is always going to be the hardest; after that you've always got a bit of momentum behind you. It's a cliché, but it's true.

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Things I regret not buying when I saw them (some of them going back a few years):
[list]
[*]SWR Stereo 800 power amp, new - £200
[*]MM Stingray - £250, yes really :)
[*]Shergold 8-string - £175
[*]'70 Dodge Challenger - £850 (OK, a bit OT but I bloody wish I'd bought it!)
[/list]
Things I regret not doing:
[list]
[*]Not learning to play the piano my parents had when I was growing up.
[*]Not going up to London with my drummer mate in 1987 to follow the dream... he ended up playing for a living and toured Japan with the James Taylor Quartet, I ended up working in a bloody office :huh:
[*]Not learning to read music. Yes I know it's still not too late, but I could have done it 20 years ago.
[/list]

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[quote name='ashevans09' post='167221' date='Mar 31 2008, 09:22 PM']Buying Take That's "Greatest Hits"[/quote]

You should add admitting to that on a bass forum to your list of regrets!

I regret not introducing myself to Jack Bruce when I was standing next to him at a party. I was too shy and I kept thinking "I play bass because of you" would sound daft!

I'm sure a few of us have friends we played with growing up who went on to bigger and better things. I don't really regret not following the music school/session work path though.

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[quote name='FJ1200' post='167153' date='Mar 31 2008, 06:58 PM']WLT get together with other musicians to jam, play blues or rock and simply just have fun. And beer. Spoke to a friend at work today who's a guitarist in the same boat - so together with my new little robodrummer friend we're going to have a Saturday afternoon in my study of Quo and AC/DC, and other simple stuff we can both play (and remember!).

And beer.[/quote]


I don't know if this is still going but here's an open mic night in Peterborough
[url="http://www.peterborough.net/lifestyle/articles/deepingsopenmic100.asp"]http://www.peterborough.net/lifestyle/arti...sopenmic100.asp[/url]

""We had complete first timers all the way through to us oldies who were there to back anyone who wanted a shot!" Gordon started the amateur open mic nights as a way for anyone who has strummed away in the garage or bedroom to actually get up and perform in front of an audience."

Sounds like a place where you may find other peopel loking to do teh sam thing,...

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[quote name='Rich' post='167178' date='Mar 31 2008, 07:26 PM'][*]Not learning to read music. Yes I know it's still not too late, but I could have done it 20 years ago.
[/list][/quote]

Hum
I regret falling out with Mrs Thomas my recorder teacher when I was 8. So I never learned to read music when it would have been easy .. I've now been struggling with it for 44 years .....

Mind you, had I learned to read properly back then I may never have had learned to improvise



OG
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Oh also regret mistaking Crazy Kiwi for Ped at teh Bash yesterday .. Sorry mate. Won't happen again :)

Edited by OldGit
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[quote name='OldGit' post='167237' date='Mar 31 2008, 09:44 PM']I don't know if this is still going but here's an open mic night in Peterborough
[url="http://www.peterborough.net/lifestyle/articles/deepingsopenmic100.asp"]http://www.peterborough.net/lifestyle/arti...sopenmic100.asp[/url]

""We had complete first timers all the way through to us oldies who were there to back anyone who wanted a shot!" Gordon started the amateur open mic nights as a way for anyone who has strummed away in the garage or bedroom to actually get up and perform in front of an audience."

Sounds like a place where you may find other peopel loking to do teh sam thing,...[/quote]

Cool - will have to take a look although 17th May is my son's birthday - not a good PR move to miss it! The outlaws live in Deeping and we sometimes go to the RC fireworks so I know it - sort of. 10 - 15 mins up the road so nice'n'close.

EDIT - have just emailed the guy so watch this space.

Edited by FJ1200
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[quote name='FJ1200' post='167293' date='Mar 31 2008, 09:46 PM']Cool - will have to take a look although 17th May is my son's birthday - not a good PR move to miss it! The outlaws live in Deeping and we sometimes go to the RC fireworks so I know it - sort of. 10 - 15 mins up the road so nice'n'close.[/quote]


Well open mic nights can vary but they can be a good place to network for a band or just other people to jam with.

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I subscribe to the notion that you've no way of knowing that a different decision at any point in your life would have given you a better outcome but...

I most regret that after finishing 6th form I didn't have the guts to tell my parents I really wasn't very interested in going to university and I'd much rather concentrate on my band and its music. I wasn't cut out of uni life in the late 70s - I didn't like the place or the other students and found the course work only mildly diverting. After 3 years I was asked to leave as it obvious to everyone concerned that I wasn't putting enough effort into it and that was no longer sufficient for me to scrape through anymore. During the last year I unsuccessfully tried to balance both my degree work and playing in a reasonably successful local band that was starting to attract national attention and ended up without a degree or a band...

Of course there's no way of knowing that the outcome would have been any different without the distraction of education, but there's always the hint of a possibility that I might have just been able to put that extra effort into the band that might have made it worthwhile.

And then there was the turning down of the chance to have William Orbit produce my next band...

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[quote name='TheBrokenDoor' post='167302' date='Mar 31 2008, 11:00 PM']Regret saying yes to that singer-songwriter my mate asked me to do.

It was Paulo Nutini.

I'm 23 and I've turned down Dave Stewart of Eurythmics, Paulo Nutini and Echo and The Bunnymen. (None deliberately though!!!)

I'm a bloody idiot.

Dan[/quote]

On the upside, your playing must be pretty good to get all these offers?

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With regards to regrets and what might have beens I always find a speech that Steve Jobs (Apple Computers) gave as highly inspirational and how all that we do can be right for us.

Anyone who is interested can read it here [url="http://news-service.stanford.edu/news/2005/june15/jobs-061505.html"]http://news-service.stanford.edu/news/2005...obs-061505.html[/url] and hopefully it may be of some interest or comfort.

Steve

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[quote name='birdy' post='167362' date='Mar 31 2008, 11:30 PM']With regards to regrets and what might have beens I always find a speech that Steve Jobs (Apple Computers) gave as highly inspirational and how all that we do can be right for us.

Anyone who is interested can read it here [url="http://news-service.stanford.edu/news/2005/june15/jobs-061505.html"]http://news-service.stanford.edu/news/2005...obs-061505.html[/url] and hopefully it may be of some interest or comfort.

Steve[/quote]

thanks for that birdy, highly thought provoking and a great read!

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We act only according to our personality and environment. Yes, I wish I had stuck at piano when I was seven, but I was never going to. Maybe if I hadn't replaced Billie Holiday with sleep during my adolescence, I would have been able to stay awake during bass lessons. But if I had acted differently, I would be a different person; it was never going to happen.

[quote]“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”[/quote]

Regrets are there to be acted on; the latter acquired insight to now know better. Acknowledge that it was something you weren't ready to do then, but are now aware that it is something you need to do now.

Insight=Aspiration=Action=Attainment

Sometimes I regret playing bass. I can listen to a cello piece, or a piano piece and be brought to tears, yet I play motown. You only live once, you know. And I'm one of those awkwardly dramatic peak and trough people, so I only want to listen/play level-headed music about 10% of the time.

So what am I doing about it? - Well, I'm selling off my electric gear and getting a Stagg EUB so I can learn tango and jazz.

I wish I had bought some finger-less gloves and taken my bamboo flute with me on walks.
= hope to be moving to Ringwood soon. There's a stream right by the houses and it's nearly summer. I think that will be a lovely spot to practice.

---

Fortunately, by being on basschat, other members now become part of your environment.

[quote post='167063' date='Mar 31 2008, 06:19 PM']I'm so critical of my sh*te playing.[/quote]
This is cyclical. It's unlikely that ability is the block.

[quote name='Dillsfretless' post='167131' date='Mar 31 2008, 07:27 PM']I have recently (the last two months or so) really got into bass playing in a big way like never before.[/quote]
Sounds like the push you needed. So act on it.

[quote name='birdy' post='167362' date='Apr 1 2008, 12:30 AM']With regards to regrets and what might have beens I always find a speech that Steve Jobs (Apple Computers) gave as highly inspirational and how all that we do can be right for us.

Anyone who is interested can read it here [url="http://news-service.stanford.edu/news/2005/june15/jobs-061505.html"]http://news-service.stanford.edu/news/2005...obs-061505.html[/url] and hopefully it may be of some interest or comfort.

Steve[/quote]

Oh, great speech. Loved the connecting the dots idea.

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I wish I had stuck to one thing for longer , as it is I'm primarily a guitarist playing bits of blues, rock , pop, jazz , country and fingerstle acoustic and now I'm playing Bass (and enjoying it a lot more!)

So I've ended up being a Jack of all trades but master of none !

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Biggest regrets musically:

Starting late (21)
Not learning to read (got hung up on the technical side of things instead of trying to combine the two)
Not getting a really good bass teacher when I was younger (have got a great teacher now - bit too late as I'm 45 this year)
Getting a bit too hung up on buying gear thinking it would make me a better player (boy was I wrong on that one!!!)

On reflection I guess I can't complain too much - apart from a couple periods where I haven't played in bands due to family bereavement, I've been gigging fairly consistently over the last 10 - 15 years.

Cheers,
iamthewalrus

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There are things I think 'hmmm, perhaps my time would've been better spent doing this', but I don't regret them. They have, in some way, shaped the way I play bass.

If I had to say there's one thing I wish I had not done, it was listen to the worship/band leader at my church and youth group who said 'don't do that' when I was experimenting with ideas in practice. Discouraged me from breaking out of convention and finding new sounds big time. Another dude said 'there's no need to learn the modes, you will never use them'. Luckily I moved away only a year or so and was required to experiment so it saved me from said environment.

Again, that has shaped my musical approach as well. I will concede that that time helped me get the basics of holding a groove and bassline down, with some aspects of songwriting, song learning and melodic approaches.

Mark

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[quote name='OldGit' post='167297' date='Mar 31 2008, 09:53 PM']Well open mic nights can vary but they can be a good place to network for a band or just other people to jam with.[/quote]
I have a wonderful time playing at the Roadhouse on Thursdays. Which brings me on to the regret, a musical and a personal one. I wish I'd known 30 years ago that the future Mrs Zero could sing, as we could have got a band together then, and because it might have bound us close enough together so her dad couldn't split us up.

There have been gaps in my musical life which I shouldn't have let happen, but I was something of a victim of circumstance and rather went with the flow instead of trying to do something more about it.

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