A drummer mate of mine once managed to introduce an entire new range-topping Yamaha kit to the house by simply ensuring it was the same colour as his existing one.
True. Comedy/humour is a very broad church, incredibly subjective, and not everyone's idea of humour involves testing limits or attempting/intending to 'offend' someone.
Yes, I was. Nowadays I'm just fat and bald.
I was lucky at school, I had enough good genuine friends to make up for the few c***s (one in particular) who seemed determined to ruin my life.
Joking aside, I'm guessing KY would do the trick? The thing I liked about the original lube was that the excess was easy to rub into the skin to get it off my fingers - it's not as greasy feeling as Vaseline.