OK- These points are obviously all IMHO, and based on what I consider good technique and musicality. As ever, YMMV...
First thing is that posture you're sitting in will give you a lot of pain if you do it a lot- you don't really want to be hunched over like that if you can avoid it.
Left hand- are you aware you don't use your pinky on your left hand at all? I would try and rectify that. Also, I would recommend not letting the thumb come over the top of the neck- ideally you want it sitting in the middle of the neck roughly opposite your index finger.
Right hand- It looks like you're resting your thumb quite heavily on the strings- you want to be applying as little pressure as possible. I would recommend having a look at some floating thumb videos on youtube, or at least trying to ease off the pressure there.
Its hard to tell as the music is quite hard to make out, but your timing seemed a wee bit rocky in places- I would recommend some metronome or drum machine practice with single notes to get your fingers playing evenly and consistently, then maybe try the tune without all the fills and get it as tight as possible.
The other thing is that the strumming is way, way louder than the fingerstyle stuff- not really an issue here but something you would need to be aware of in a band situation, for example.
I'm assuming you're doing your own take on the bass line as the way you play it is quite different from the recorded version- which is obviously fine, as long as you're aware of it!
Hope that helps, and doesn't sound too patronising!