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The Alternative Rock Factfile. It's Back for a Christmas Edition!


yorks5stringer
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[quote name='Diablo' timestamp='1418858093' post='2634266']
...To cheer you up here is a Christmas rock-fact:...
[/quote]

Up the Irons! Up the charts! Up yer a***, Cowell!

[url="http://www.kerrang.com/26284/help-get-iron-maiden-christmas-number-1/"]http://www.kerrang.c...stmas-number-1/[/url]

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Given the critical mauling that this thread has recently endured, today's fact is more reflective and philosophical.

As Luther Vandross sang, "A house is not a home", yet I find the addition of a small practise combo helps me turn one to the other.
Indeed, looking at the components of a house in more detail, I find walls contradictory. Take Phil Spector's famous "Wall of Sound". It was made up of layers of multi-tracked instruments and voices, yet it won't support the weight of slates,roof beams or trusses.
Ironically Phil is currently closely surrounded by 2 different types of walls as he spends time in custody. The physical walls are those of a prison hospital ward and he has now lost the ability to speak too. The wall of silence he endures also afflicts Adele, who has not sung live for 3 years.
Be it a "Wall of Sound", or a wall of silence, neither can offer the ultimate support.

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US Hip-Hoppers "The Black Eyed P and Q's" were on a downward spiral due to their polite nature: the US public did not feel they were "ghetto" enough. Then they dropped the "Q's", William added punctuation to his name, and the rest, as they say, is history.

Edited by yorks5stringer
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Chaka Demus often found work as an electrician. When called out to mend the local radio transmitter the locals all rejoiced "Yay, Here comes Chaka Demus!"

To which he deftly reached in to his shirt pocket and produced his trusty multitool.

"No!" He retorted, "Here comes Chaka Demus and Pliers."

Edited by Dandelion
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Funksters "Brass Construction" are calling it a day. Band Bassist Wade Williamston explained " When we started out Copper and Zinc were relatively affordable, but now spiralling commodity prices have made it uneconomical to continue".

However the falling price of oil has meant that Plastic Bertrand will be adding to their line-up and touring again.

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Dr Hook and the Medicine Show have been struck off the BMA Register and will no longer be allowed to practice. Patients complained of eye tests being only partially completed with lenses being dropped onto the floor. Singer Ray Sawyer commented, "If we aren't allowed to practice, I guess we'll just have to jam all the songs"

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As Rock Stars get older they move into other associated fields. Ronnie Wood paints, Rick Wakeman and Ringo have become grumpy old men and Bob Geldof and Bono have gone into politics. Keef has taken to manufacturing snuff.
In the USA some of their iconic Bands have diversified too.
The Isley Brothers opened up a chain of Opticians who are doing very well, however not so Def Jam. Their trolley carts in Shopping Malls selling Hearing Aids and a range of Chutneys and Fruit Spreads is proving too confusing for the sophisticated US consumer.

Edited by yorks5stringer
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Rock legend Warren Zevon penned the icon riff-laden tune "Werewolves of London" after a particularly long evening involving Campari cocktails at the Squalliday Inn, South Birmingham. The same night inspired the song of the latter title by the Heavy Metal Kids but Warren Zevon made it sound posher by changing it to London and werewolves instead of vomiting binge drinking laddettes in B'ham.

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Scouser Ian MacNab was working at a Winter Wonderland on the Wirrall prior to his musical career back in the 70's. Although there was fake snow, the reindeers were real and one deposited a huge pile near the entrance to Santa's Grotto. Tasked with removing this quickly, and the shovel being deployed elsewhere, he grabbed a large thick polystyrene icicle and successfully removed the dung. Turning to one of the dwarves, he commented, "Well, the Icicle Works". The rest, as they say, is history.

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The Blind Faith classic 'Can't find my way home' was written by Stevie Winwood as a tribute to his favourite racing pigeon Nigel, who failed to return after being released near Wakefield in 1974. Some say he lost his sense of direction due to an ear infection, but others insist he simply couldn't stand Eric Clapton and did a runner.

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[quote name='Japhet' timestamp='1419269410' post='2638192']
The Blind Faith classic 'Can't find my way home' was written by Stevie Winwood as a tribute to his favourite racing pigeon Nigel, who failed to return after being released near Wakefield in 1974. Some say he lost his sense of direction due to an ear infection, but others insist he simply couldn't stand Eric Clapton and did a runner.
[/quote]

Surely he didn't "do a runner" but simply "winged it"?

PS Yes, I knew your name was Surely too....

Edited by yorks5stringer
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[quote name='Diablo' timestamp='1419287621' post='2638490']
Super-cool poptastic beanpole Sophie Ellis-Bextor is over 7 feet tall. At the age of 15 she was only 4ft 3" but concocted a medicine in the shed of her next door neighbour, Roald Dahl, and the rest as they say is history.
[/quote]

Sounds a bit of a tall story? You sure this is a fact? This may need independent verification as we can't have any old crap being posted on here.

Edited by yorks5stringer
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