Leaving a band you love.

[danbowskill]

I have been in my recent band for a few years now, in which time we have been on tours recorded an album and have had the opportunity to play with many bands i have always wanted to share a stage with.
We have had ups n downs (mainly ups)..... and in ways it has felt like a family.

But due to my own family commitments and personal problems i have had to call it a day after our next gig,not a easy descission to come to(a bit out of my hands)
i have just told the lads tonight .............. and it felt absolutly rotten as hell! they took it as well as could be( gutted but accepted )and don't want to continue without me.
We have put so much sweat n tears and time into our music,and i don't think i have ever played with musicans i gel with so well before.

It totally sucks balls!!......and very much feels like splitting up with a partner,

the ammount of time, sacrifice and effot it takes to work a band you love...........do we invest to much emotionly into it?
cause i feel a big void has apeared.

[BassTractor]

That sounds awful, man. I can very much understand your feelings.
I hope that when this has gone by, that you'll be left with the positive memories - they must be there in abundance given that this is such a hard blow right now.
Good luck!


best,
bert

[lurksalot]

Tough sh*t bud , that does sound like it hurts , I hope you get past it , if circumstances outside the band really does force it then don't dwell on the departure, be happy that you had the experience and maybe one day if you get the chance new opportunities might come knocking , good luck

[danbowskill]

Cheers Bert :-)

Your right....... Plenty of fond memories that will always be with me.

[discreet]

Really sorry to hear this. You have to invest emotionally in a band if you're any good, I reckon. It's a relationship like any other.
Best of luck to you, I hope you feel better soonest.

[3below]

A tough call in life but you have your reasons. Life will move on, other music opportunities will appear that can fit your circumstances. Keep in touch with lads in band, give support as best you can. What goes round comes round.

[rOB]

Aw man, that sucks. I had to leave a band I loved once. It was totally rubbish at the time.

You have my sympathies.

[xilddx]

[quote name='iceonaboy' timestamp='1362413817' post='1999258']
Agreed. I was just thinking right enough, is this woman ( Im assuming here) making you leave something you love for spite, or has she got reasons? Im not wanting to pry, but you gotta say, someone who makes you stop doing something you love is being quite selfish in my book. I would bin the bird and stay with the band
[/quote]

What a weird post. What makes you think anyone is making him leave other than his own sense of resposnsibility and his personal problems?

[xilddx]

[quote name='iceonaboy' timestamp='1362414338' post='1999274']
I know, just trying to be light hearted about it. I know some folk can be jealous of someone going out and doing something else. Ive had it myself, but then she was happy with the money I brought in from the band
[/quote]

Yes, I had a feeling you might have had a relationship like that from your post.

[phil.mcglassup]

[quote name='rOB' timestamp='1362349436' post='1998866']
Aw man, that sucks. I had to leave a band I loved once. It was totally rubbish at the time.

You have my sympathies.
[/quote]

I once left a band that I didn't like because it sucked!! The band was completely rubbish....except me

Seriously, if I had to leave a decent band I would be gutted.

Any chance of a comeback once your problems are sorted?

[brensabre79]

It feels like a 4 or 5 way divorce when a good band that you're emotionally invested in splits for whatever reason. And you have to invest in it emotionally or it would be just like a session band - none of which sound enjoyable to me, all the chops, but no soul you know? (don't get me wrong, they have their place, but when you form a band with people you get on with both socially and musically it is a family like bond that forms between you that grows stronger as the years pass).

So, I feel you're pain, I've been there too and it sucks, whatever the reason. You can still be mates with these guys though, don't forget that!

[danbowskill]

It certainly isn't any woman forcing me to leave (I would never be with a person who never understand my passion)..... Just very bad personal circumstances,and who knows in a couple of years?
Thank you for all your kind words :-) .... I'm not hunting for sympathy,its just a great place to vent to those who would understand:-)

[Skol303]

It's no doubt painful to move on - especially if the decision has been forced on you by circumstance - but you can now face whatever comes next having seen some great times, and that's more than a lot of people get to experience and draw strength from.

All I can say is just keep on trucking, brother. There's always more adventures to be had, no matter how rough the road ahead might look.

[martin8708]

This is a very tough decision to make , especially if you're in a great band with a great bunch of musicians .
I fully sympathise with your predicament , I'm sure quite a few of us have given up bands for various personal reasons.

Sometimes really good stuff can come out of a bad situation , so keep positive and don't sell the gear , keep in touch with your band mates , there could be a re-union in the pipeline later on .