bobpalt

I have a round black disc with a hole in the middle. Is this a record? (sorry).

Money by Pink Floyd. Come to think of that's about the most complicated thing I know.........

On stage once depping for a new band, mid-song on my Pedulla when the battery failed. Ran off stage to get a new one, whopped it in and found it got stuck halfway in the battery box. I hadn't noticed it was a new kind of (expensive!) very long life battery I had bought to try out. Anyway, I pulled hard and the whole battery box minus wires came away in my hand. Panic. Grabbed spare (passive) bass and ran back on stage, missing in total a song and a half. During the break I apologised to the band who had no idea what I was talking about. Not one of the gits had even noticed I was missing!

Hi Everyone. Great to be back in the fold! Set up and tear down for the function band was a huge hassle. Took a couple of hours each way, and at two in the morning when you're not a young man any more was something I despised. Carting Mackie subs up and down stairs still features in my worst dreams. We now have a JBL Eon One array system which, quite frankly amazes me with its fabulousness. The little gig on Saturday went superbly well, and I believe I may even have got the biggest cheer for my solo rendition of "Monster Mash". Being a non- singist I am a little restricted in what I can do on my own. Also, I am lacking a singers ego. Bass wise, I still have the stuff in my sig under the bed, but now use one of Scott Whitley's short scales which is very nice. Amp wise I have an Eden head and 12" Eden cab to gig with. Not sure if I want to go back to full scale jobbies? My time as a purveyor of fine basses and occasional guitars is at an end, but long may my former stock (Hi Jules!) continue to give pleasure. I recognise many former basses in the Basses for Sale column!

Having played in a wedding type band for many years I jacked it in when I retired from work three years ago and bought a motorhome. Sue and I have done a bit of travelling now and although I haven't missed the hassle, regimentation, long hours etc of playing in a function band there was a feeling returning that I wanted to do something musical, so a friend and I decided to see if we could get a little act together using backing tracks. The Two Bees were born, me on bass and really awful backing sounds and Barry on guitar and proper vocals. We did our first gig last night just to see how things were progressing at a local village club, and I have to say it was probably one of the most enjoyable gigs I have ever played at! The lack of structure, the relaxed atmosphere, the fact that no one stared at you if you played a bum note and the 10 minute set up and tear down times were ace, and everyone (well it felt like everyone) shook our hands at the end, said we were magnificent (beer talk!), bought us drinks and even gave our wives a bottle of wine each to take away. I think we will get some more bookings out of it as we gave plenty of cards away to interested parties, and I can't wait now for the next one. It's our 40th wedding anniversary today so Barry and I (and wives of course!) are out for a posh meal tonight so we can analyse how the night went. It's good to be back, albeit on a very small, very enjoyable scale.

If it's any consolation my order from the March run hasn't arrived yet!

Pathetic. Words are sooooo easy to say, but meaningless unless you intend to honour them. It's like the old Bonzo's song Shirts, when the guy in the song takes his to a 24 Hour Dry Cleaners. When being told they would be ready a week Thursday or something similar, and asking why the sign said 24 hour cleaning he was told "it's just the name of the shop, dear".

At Mansons opening night at their new shop in Exeter in the early 2000's the singer in my band got chatting to two nice guys trying out acoustic guitars. They asked him if he was in a band, what kind of stuff they played and the bands name. Stu told them his band was called Breeze and asked them if they were in a band.Oh yeah, they said. What's the bands name? The Stereophonics they said. Cue Stu asking for autographs.....

Born in the 50's. Can't remember much except playing on bomb sites and being locked in my bedroom every night so I didn't wake my parents in the morning. They were fine, just very strict. 1960's. Joined the Freddie and The Dreamers fan club, discovered The Beatles and Manchester United (I lived in Old Trafford), Subbuteo and speedway. Life was great. 1970's. Discovered girls, A levels and curry. Work then spoilt everything for 40 years. Still no mention of a musical instrument. Got married. 1980's. More work, got moved to Gloucestershire (nice), hated the music, discovered Steeleye Span and Folk Rock. Excellent. 1990's. Changed jobs a couple of times. Tried self employment but was pants at it. Paid everyone on time except me. Dabbled with guitar. Discovered I could cook. 2000's. Picked a bass up for the first time. Later that week played my first gig to 80 people with every (root) note written down in front of me. Loved it. Band got better, played lots of weddings etc., and got paid quite well. Changed job again so home working, got much fatter as a result. Still enjoying Man Utd. 2010's. Who could have thought that Van Gaal could totally ruin my life like this? I hate football now, and it's all his fault.

Ah, but can he play Mustang Sally? I think that may be too difficult for him.

Try being in a wedding band if you don't like long waits. A typical Saturday would be load the van at 8.00 am, drive 100 miles to the venue, set up and sound check to be out of the room by 1.00 to let the caterers set up for the wedding event, then either a) drive 100 miles back home again (which we have done) and return at 8.45 or, more likely, find a pub some where, commandeer a corner for the band and sleep/play cards/ drink/play board games for 8 hours. After the gig of course you have 45 minutes to throw everything that took 2 hours to set up back in the vans and hit the road, getting home at 4.00 am. That's not far off a 24 hour day and one of the main reasons I, as an old man now jacked it all in!

Not bass related, but after having a golf lesson the pro advised me to cut 2 inches off the shaft of each of my clubs. Will that make me play better? I asked. No, he said, but they would be easier to fit in the bin.....

Ah, but can she play Mustang Sally?

I'll give it a go and see what happens! Now, where did I put that white wooden thingy with those wobbly wire whatsits.......

It's two years now since I retired from the band to do a bit of travelling in my retirement, and in that time I have pretty much not played at all. Recently I have had a few urges to at least have a jam with friends, but am a bit concerned as I seem to have forgotten most of what I knew! I was never the most talented bassist and tended to learn things parrot fashion rather than going with the flow so to speak, but I played regularly in a busy functions band for 13 years and could hold my own. At 61 I worry that, to paraphrase Homer (Simpson) in order to learn something new I have to forget something I already knew. Am I being paranoid? Will it all come back or is 2 years of abstinence enough to wipe the memory bank clean?