Leonard Smalls

[quote name='lowdown' timestamp='1430501387' post='2762146'] I think I know what's coming.... [/quote] I don't think you do! So far we've got bass (lots, though only 4 notes), drums (various!), keys (6!), some vocal samples and a large shed full of echo, plus a little bit of beatboxing...

I've made a start... And funnily enough it doesn't sound anything like Frankie Laine singing the "Ok Corral" theme. In fact it's veering wildly toward sleng teng!

I tend to slap an open E and A a couple of times, do the various harmonics to see how they sound, play a couple of chords both strummed and plucked then launch into a bit of "Showstopper" by Jamaaladeen, followed by a few riffs of my own followed by wild noodling until the shop owner comes up and says "Are you going to buy that $%£&*^! bass or not?"

[Milliband mode]Hell yeah![/Milliband mode]

This festival is incredibly reasonably priced with a proper line-up including Sugarhill Gang, Wu-Tang Clan, Rolo Tomassi, Dutch Uncles, Basement Jaxx, Buzzcocks, and not confirmed yet but I've been assured it's happening, Dredd and the Badass Weeds (*) in an extremely rare appearance: http://www.tramlines.org.uk/lineup/ * that's Keith from the Utahs, Andy from the New FADs, 2 Johns from the Snapdragons and Cassandra Crossing, and me. We'll show 'em what a band sounds like who rehearse once a year!

You'll get good advice at either [url="http://www.hifiwigwam.com"]www.hifiwigwam.com[/url] or [url="http://www.pinkfishmedia.net/forum/"]http://www.pinkfishmedia.net/forum/[/url]. As for changing the cartridge, that's an easy job so long as you're not too hamfisted; I've just put an Audio Note IQ3 on my Clearaudio and it sounds most excellent. You do, however, need a stylus balance - the Shure one is about £20 - and it's probably worth getting a powerful magnifying glass to check on your old cart as it may be OK. This website has plenty of set-up info: http://www.originlive.com/troubleshooting/cartridges-troubleshooting.html

You know what twitching's the first sign of!

Moooez!

Je parle le Francais comme une vache Espagnol!

[quote name='Dad3353' timestamp='1428855326' post='2745298'] Reassure me... There is, at least, [i]some [/i]trombone..? [/quote] No 'bones, or wind of any sort (apart from the usual). Just bass, drums and piano. And of course, the high pitched whirring noise of Mussorgsky spinning in his grave!

Here's my slightly leftfield offering. And there's no chickens, or "singing"! https://soundcloud.com/dredd-and-the-badass-weed/a-walk-on-the-cold-side

I made the mistake once of thinking everyone else thought "a jam" was the same as I did... My local pub used to have Jam Night on a Wednesday. So I bunged the Marshall with one cab in the back of the motor, then wheeled the half-stack into the boozer. It turned out that it was an open mic night, where everyone did their own little turn - mostly folky types with an acoustic! I was allowed by "the leader" (!) to play along with one of these people. However, many years ago I used to play in an 8 piece band (containing 3 horn players who used to play with Steve Lacy); we never rehearsed - just jammed on the roof of the drummer's studio in Shoreditch. It usually took 3-4 hours before the police told us to stop, which is surprising for those who know what Mr Lacy sounds like!

[quote name='Andrej' timestamp='1428260978' post='2739718'] I didn't particularly enjoy that video you shared lol [/quote] Don't worry - Derek Bailey is a taste most people are fortunate enough (or not!) not to develop! Though that is Derek at his most "easy listening"; at that recording Jamaaladeen attempted to high five Derek and said "Hey Derek, let's funk!" The only time I saw Mr Bailey live was supporting Bill Laswell/John Zorn. The gig was him doing his trademark "pring, praaaang", with a dj who balanced records on coffee cups, and a keyboard player who played with his elbows. Which shows there's a market for just about anything, if it's done with a modicum of skill.

Play whatever you feel it needs, or whatever you can get away with! [MEDIA]http://youtu.be/JOGdAFxe9_0[/MEDIA]

[quote name='lowdown' timestamp='1428008421' post='2737085'] Indeed, and then put it into action. (I am sure Lenny can accompany this with some of his Muse). http://youtu.be/7Vqvq-f-UtU [/quote] I've been hacked! Somehow my work-in-progress has been stolen! All I had to add was the butt-tuba and cackling geese (chickens are soooo yesterday).

It's bound to sound stomach-churningly good, as I'll be using [url=http://schiit.com/]THESE[/url] to power the headphones...

The original composer might just about have recognised the first couple of bars - the rest would probably cause him to call Alexander 2's security police! Or mebbe, because there's no orchestra involved, he'd have been happy! And funnily enough, my mum, who taught me piano as a young 'un, had a piano teacher who was taught by Liszt himself... So I can call it payback. Though Liszt would probably have called the police as well!

Just out of interest, is it within the rules to take a relatively well-known classical piece (played badly by me!) and muse on it? Hope so as that's what I've done so far! And Napoleon isn't involved, it's Russian all the way - though 60 odd years later...

It's got a tune! Though it is kind of hidden. And I may be tempted to add a "Please Rise For Jimi" synth over the top... Or perhaps a recreation of the horrific scene heard from a public toilet in Chamonix 5 days after my climbing partner had taken 8 Arete tablets. I understand there's still bio-hazard warnings round that unfortunate convenience!

As it's about pictures and Russians and war, I've made a kind of left-field start... It's as good an excuse as any for a bit of avant-"jazz" (and I us the term very loosely) as I know Douglas is such a fan!

Aye - well done Mr Swossage. A most excellently funky song!

[quote name='lowdown' timestamp='1427734488' post='2733642'] Ok, went for Skol,[B] Leonard Smalls[/B] and The Lord Sausage. [/quote] Ta! Points mean prizes!

Excellent review, Douglas, as ever! Cheers! And there's been no spicy ciggies, or funny tablets for a long time! Surprised you didn't get the Grateful Dead reference - though instead of Buffalo we were truckin' up 7th Avenue, and the Doodah man became a bass-wah man to bring in the final bit of racket... And there was a hint of Bowie, to hammer home the "Fashion" references...

Talking of Tommy Bolin, this album is well worth getting for those that like that sort of thing: [MEDIA]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xqnz1vsFDU&list=PL73NxyhryGEMNyeLQseysSvad-aG6HuZM&feature=player_detailpage[/MEDIA]

[quote name='lou24d53' timestamp='1427111227' post='2725794'] I'm going to be doing exactly the same pretty shortly, using the same Hercules wall brackets which I will be putting up using these - [url="http://www.screwfix.com/p/spit-driva-tp12-panhead-fixings-metal-35mm-pack-of-100/11923"]http://www.screwfix.com/p/spit-driva-tp12-panhead-fixings-metal-35mm-pack-of-100/11923[/url] [/quote] After many years attaching stuff to plasterboard walls, that's the method I'd use as well; it's very simple and nowhere near as easy to cock up as the expansion fittings. However, I'd only use these if the board is definitely attached to 50x25mm rather than dabbed on using board adhesive. The screw fittings are as strong as the plaster board and will easily hold 15-20kgs each. If the board is dabbed on you'll need to drill into the brick. Frame fixings would work for the weights involved...