Ricky 4000

*Ring Ring* Hello, police. Hi, I'm calling to report a stolen van. I see, is it your van, Sir? Yes. And your name is? Sting. I see - Sting. Yes. Would that be your first name or last name, Sir? Err... well both I suppose. So it's "Sting Sting"... Well, yes, if you like. It's not what I like Sir, I just need your name. Okay. Computer won't accept that Sir. Oh dear. Its saying the forename(s) must differ from the surname. Bummer. What if we put "Sting" down as your surname? Fine. So what first name shall we put? Gordon. Ahh, Gordon! Hello. We were having a little sweepstake on when you'd call ba *Click*

*Ring Ring* Hello, police. Hi, it's Gordon again, about the stolen van. Hi Gordon. I've been talking to the band, and firstly I have to apologise for before. Oh that's OK. You're in the police band you say? Yes. Did you play at the Chief Super's birthday party? Um, no. Oh really? ... I'm going to need to call you back again... *Click*

*Spank*

Rambling old drunk - I bet he's never owned one. I can just imagine trying to get away from him in a bar. 😁

Have to tried Brian May's "thrupenny bits"? 😁

Can you imagine if The Police had their van nicked? *Ring Ring* Hello, police. Hi there, this is Gordon from the police. Our van's been nicked. Jeeze, a police van? Boy you're in trouble. No... well, yes, I suppose you could say its a police van... it's certainly the police van. What? Look, I'm in the police. OK. And our van's been nicked. Right. Well can you like, find it? You're in the police. Yes. Find your own ****ing van before your Sgt finds out. No... I'm not in the police! You said you were! Well in one way I am. I'm recording this, you know. Oh, that's ironic. What? Etc...

Damn, I can see a flaw in my logic... (I didn't assume it was illegal to impersonate the Queen, although it might be? However, I get your point about the Doctors)

How come Sting's police were allowed to call themselves the police? I thought it was against the law to impersonate a police officer? One of the few professions that it's illegal to impersonate... another is a doctor... there's at least one more but I've forgotten it. Anyway, if calling yourself "The Police" isn't impersonating a police - I don't know what is. Therefore why weren't HRH the Queen's police involved? Any help from the police would be appreciated.

If I get in trouble, I'm gonna say it was because Mankini made me do it before he went crackers ^^^^^ ⚠️

"play" is a very loose term for what I does... ▶️

Je nais comprend pas - je suis, umm, Pays de Gall!

I have flats on my short scale Jazz, and they sound shoite. I'm about to put some on my P bass to see if I can spoil that as well. And what's all this about articulation? A bass shouldn't be articulated (unless its broke). HTH. 👍

*le telly 😁

Daddy? Nawww, he's probably down la pub. 👍

You just have to PM @Rich to ask for your swear filter to be removed. He says he doesn't mind, so long as you've been on here for more than a week or something. 👍 As above - I can see what you typed - and it's frankly disgusting! 😁

Or was it Runcorn... I can't remember.... I know it's somewhere I've never been... Yep, he washes it through the Canary Islands for us, remember? Heck, I forgot ... I'll edit.

No worries mate - I owe you for that design work on Fleabag's public image.

Sorry, but I've grown tired of apologising. 😁 Hey, isn't that the dress from "I Want To Break Free"? Interesting... do you feel that you want to "break free" yourself? What is it that you think you'd like to break free from? If you could wake up tomorrow with one thing changed about yourself - what would that be? That'll be £35 please. Please make cheques payable to The Three Twerps Counselling Services (TTCS) Ltd, Scunthorpe. Teebs Services™, Gibraltar. 👌

Lovely! Let's start with a picture of Fleabag wearing a "Who The Funk" shirt? Is Paypal OK? 👊

That'll work. Maybe Teebs can design something for you? 👌

Hey Fleabag, will you have a blue flap over the name on your tee shirt, with velcro on it? So you only reveal it at certain times? 😁 http://www.feelnumb.com/2011/05/24/band-members-wearing-their-own-band-shirt/

:: swoon ::

I'm being a friend when I say that I feel I should stop you from doing this! ⚠️

You are so awesome, T. 😍 You'd wear your own band merch'!?

And very lovely it is too. 👌