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oldslapper

No need to hide that new purchase anymore

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7 minutes ago, oldslapper said:

Look I’m not after an argument and I’m not backpedaling, your reply clearly stated you found it sexist, then ended by stating you don’t find it offensive. (Quote 👆🏻)

If it’s sexist, then it IS offensive. I will crawl back under the misogynist rock from which I came. 

If I was offended by everything that's sexist in life I'd have committed suicide decades ago. I'd rather challenge sexism instead.

I'm just bored by this and by people who either don't notice stuff like this or pretend not to notice.

As I said, no harm done, or I would have hidden and locked the thread long ago.

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19 minutes ago, Silvia Bluejay said:

If I was offended by everything that's sexist in life I'd have committed suicide decades ago. I'd rather challenge sexism instead.

I'm just bored by this and by people who either don't notice stuff like this or pretend not to notice.

As I said, no harm done, or I would have hidden and locked the thread long ago.

If I may, sexism works both ways. I've often worked in environments where I've been the only man, and all the women in the room have incessantly slagged "men" (in general) off day after day after day. It was/is thoroughly depressing. 

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It absolutely is, and I agree and I hate it. not all men are useless, selfish or <insert any of a thousand traditional insults>. In this particular case, though, nobody was being sexist towards men.

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My ex reguarly used to photograph my guitars and compare them to see if I'd bought any new basses. Anyway, she's my ex now ... my new missus couldn't give a flying hairy one how many basses I own.

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Whether the setup of the topic was sexist or not, I just don't understand how you people can live in an environment like that? Either having your significant other always question your purchases or having to 'do good' to them to get back into good graces?

I understand most of it it's banter and just people funnily ranting without an actual reason, and kinda make into a game (or at least I hope - I can't believe so many couples are like this in here?)

My partner of almost 10 years gets all happy and excited when I start going around purchasing a new instrument or whatever else I want to pursue. I'm the same with her, obviously. And she's not a musician, so it's not like 'she understands'. My latest bass purchase was more than 3k. She was pretty much more excited than I was! We both have decent jobs and generally try to take care of not 'splurging' money away. 

I just find it...odd. I could understand an 18yo who gets to decide whether to buy himself/herself a new bass OR bring his/her partner to their first weekend away, but come on...I'm reading of people here who supposedly have been married decades, and are still trying to sneak 'new stuff' past the partner? How...how does that work? 😮 

Edited by akabane
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1 hour ago, akabane said:

Whether the setup of the topic was sexist or not

It wasn't. 

1 hour ago, akabane said:

I just don't understand how you people can live in an environment like that?

Most (if not all) of what's been written in these posts is just self-depreciating banter, I'm sure most of the commentators are poking fun at themselves more than their partners (using the old 'er indoors" line) and wouldn't have a problem "owning up" to a new purchase.  

There is however a much darker side, as actually having to hide one's spending can be the type of behaviour exhibited in an abusive relationship (from relate) - https://www.relate.org.uk/relationship-help/help-separation-and-divorce/preventing-harm/abusive-relationships

Types of abuse

Abuse can be:

  • Physical, with behaviour such as pushing, hitting or throwing things.
  • Verbal, where one partner constantly puts down the other or shouts.
  • Controlling, where one partner exerts control over the other, perhaps sexually or financially.
  • In any relationship, whatever your sexuality, age, income, or background.

Its extremely difficult for an abused partner to leave an abusive relationship through fear of (though not limited to) retribution, fear of being alone, commitment to family (kids usually, though also extended family), financial commitment (mortgage etc). 

1 hour ago, akabane said:

My partner of almost 10 years gets all happy and excited when I start going around purchasing a new instrument or whatever else I want to pursue. I'm the same with her, obviously. And she's not a musician, so it's not like 'she understands'. My latest bass purchase was more than 3k. She was pretty much more excited than I was! We both have decent jobs and generally try to take care of not 'splurging' money away. 

Mine too, although I've been in relationships in the past where this wasn't the case. 

Edited by DoubleOhStephan
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take an empty bass case out the door announcing "just taking it to the shop to make sure the new part fits , luv"

return with new bass, keep it in the case, always.

 

if you have a former bandmate who has passed away, you can try the ol "this bass? THIS one? ummm this was Bruce's,his widow wanted me to have it" 

 

This one works, sometimes " I work for my money. I bought it coz I want it"

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3 hours ago, bazzbass said:

This one works, sometimes " I work for my money. I bought it coz I want it"

😮

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Of my 5 guitars, 3 were given to me by my wife (a new Tele, a new Ibanez acoustic bass and an old classical guitar). My ex-wife gave me my other electric, a Casio MIDI guitar which is a beauty. I bought my Ovation myself in the 90s.

Seem to have outed myself as a gungy six-string fancier, there 😞

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