Bands baned from Russia 1985

[Rich]

36 minutes ago, skankdelvar said:

"You'd never know it's a vig, Keptin" says Star Trek's Mr Chekhov as he points wiolently at his new Armstrong Siddeley Mk II hairpiece.

 

Our guest columnist writes:

No no no, Mr Skenkvar is incorrect. A Russian men vill do things wigorously -- such as pointing at vigs, building trektors, emerging wictorious against kepitalist foe -- but he vill never do them wiolently. There is no wiolence in Mother Russia, especially in KGB vich is really just a knitting circle and social club and definitely does not ever torture its wictims, errm I mean members."

 

[skankdelvar]

Banned Bands List - Russian Premier Spells It Out

As the Kremlin's kleptocrat-in-chief I'm often asked: 'What did you do in the KGB, Mr Putin?'

Until now my response has been to stab the questioner in the eye and get my chaps to finish the job, possibly in a deserted warehouse on the outskirts of Minsk. Or is it Pinsk? It doesn't really matter. Minsk, Pinsk, Omsk, Tomsk, they're all of a one.

Nevertheless, the recent emergence of a list of baned (sic) bands prompts me to lift a tiny corner of the veil. Yes, it was me back then in 1985 with a Baikal transistor radio, a pencil and a sheet of paper. But please don't ask me why certain bands were on the blacklist. It was all so long ago and for the life of me I can't recall why - for example -  Canned Heat drew my opprobium. Perhaps it was the maundering, rudimentary sitar that suffused 'On The Road Again' or - perhaps - the annoyingly diffident quality of Mr Alan 'Blind Owl' Wilson's vocals. Tant pis.

One thing I can tell you: there was a band that didn't make my official sh*t list. And that was Dollar, the peppy pop combo fronted by Mr David Van Day and the frankly toothsome Miss Therese Bazar.

You ask me why.

Well, back in those grim Cold War years when we were only a tiny mis-step away from nuclear annihilation I would return each morning to my simple KGB apartment, frazzled from a hard night's work torturing dissidents. Flopping across the threshold I would change into something more comfortable (a sheer négligée and a pair of adorable kitten-heeled grey suede mules), drop the tone-arm on my copy of Dollar's debut album Shooting Stars and - instantly reinvigorated - I would jig around the living room to the strains of that unsurpassed slice of pop brilliance 'Who Were You With In the Moonlight?' (a question I have probably put to many, many people over the years, ha ha!).

In fact, such was my appreciation of Dollar that over the years I must have acquired over 200 billion of them ($$, geddit?).

So when I heard that Mr David Van Day was standing for election to local government it was the work of a second to pick up the phone and instruct my people to launch a covert, supportive campaign comprised in equal parts of kompromat, bot farms and plain old-fashioned ballot box stuffing. It was the least I could do for one of my heroes and I hope that Mr Van Day's elevation to Thurrock Council will in some way recompense him for those fallow years during which he was reduced to touring with Bucks Fizz and flipping burgers in his van on Brighton seafront. Now, if he can just send me Therese Bazar's number he won't need to employ a food taster for the rest of his life.

Hah! Just kidding!

Ciao, Vlad.

Edited April 4, 2019 by skankdelvar

[Billy Apple]

But the Anti Nowhere League played Yugoslavia?

[Stub Mandrel]

On 04/04/2019 at 07:50, Billy Apple said:

But the Anti Nowhere League played Yugoslavia? 

My brother bought that when it came out, smuggled past Mum and only played when both parents were out 🙂

Probably still owns the f-bomb record, the whole hip-hop canon not withstanding.

[ped]

Banning punk = good idea! Can’t stand it!

[Ricky 4000]

35 minutes ago, ped said:

Banning punk = good idea! Can’t stand it!

Without punk, you'd have had no new wave, no Seattle sound, no what I like to call "The Matrix" music...

Hell's custard, I've actually bored myself sick already! 😬

[bigsmokebass]

Tina Turner: *sings one note* 

Russia: