Toadonroll Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 Thought I'd share this with you. I think we've all had moments like this: So I did my usual monthly gig, playing blues and drinking beer in my local - bit of a jam, anyone has a go. But I play bass all night. At the end of the night a guy with a banjo and mandolin gets up and we all play some blugrass,Pogues kind of stuff. Goes down well as usual. We drink heavily... After the gig we are having a drink down another pub (spot a theme here) and the banjo guy comes up to me and says "I watched you (me) play all night and you didn't once use your 5th string. You don't need it you're just showing off.... blah blah'. My reply was 'You silly so and so, just listen and enjoy the music............ Oh hang on I play my fifth string all the time.' I then proceed to explain that I use it so I can stay in the same position on the fretboard, some songs have been written in Eb etc blah blah (why am I justifying myself to you?). It then dawns on Banjob Blokey that the extra string is in fact a low B, (not a [i]high [/i]C or B ). Oh dear what a plonker. But he's not finished yet.... oh no he still thinks there’s some more belittling to be done here (he's a teacher!). He informs me that speakers can't reproduce these low frequencies and that 5 strings is totally pointless. I said something about Hertz, 15inch cones, fret positions and that he clearly had no idea what he was talking about. He left pretty sharpish. I forgot to mention that he fancies himself as a bass player and has on numerous occasions told me I am an amazing player! Shame I can't believe him about the latter Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chris_b Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 [quote name='Toadonroll' post='125664' date='Jan 22 2008, 07:17 PM'].... a guy with a banjo ....[/quote] There's your problem. Spotted it right away!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dodge Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 (edited) [quote name='Toadonroll' post='125664' date='Jan 22 2008, 07:17 PM']But he's not finished yet.... oh no he still thinks there’s some more belittling to be done here (he's a teacher!). He informs me that speakers can't reproduce these low frequencies and that 5 strings is totally pointless. I said something about Hertz, 15inch cones, fret positions and that he clearly had no idea what he was talking about. He left pretty sharpish. I forgot to mention that he fancies himself as a bass player and has on numerous occasions told me I am an amazing player! Shame I can't believe him about the latter [/quote] You should have demonstrated by suggesting he places his ear right up to said 15" cone, pull that low B an inch off the board and let go. Then ask him just how many Hertz hurts. Edited January 22, 2008 by Dodge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
markytbass Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 You should have said, "didn't I see you in that film, you know the one with Burt Reynolds, Deliverence wasn't it". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MB1 Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 [quote name='chris_b' post='125668' date='Jan 22 2008, 07:22 PM']There's your problem. Spotted it right away!!![/quote] MB1. Fancies himself as a bass player?and plays the banjo? O.K! Play him the Famous brown note next time he gets up!that should sort him! you may need to take some toilet roll and air freshener with you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toadonroll Posted January 22, 2008 Author Share Posted January 22, 2008 [quote name='markytbass' post='125705' date='Jan 22 2008, 08:30 PM']You should have said, "didn't I see you in that film, you know the one with Burt Reynolds, Deliverence wasn't it". [/quote] That's his party piece - sounds better on a low B actually. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doc B Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 See if you can borrow a bass with even more strings for the next time you play together! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2wheeler Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 I see. He kisses ar5* when he's sober and has a go at you with a bit of Dutch courage inside him. Stay well clear. This guy's going to get a banjo necklace sooner or later. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
s_u_y_* Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 [quote name='Doc B' post='125962' date='Jan 23 2008, 10:24 AM']See if you can borrow a bass with even more strings for the next time you play together![/quote] That would be funny! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pete.young Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 [quote name='chris_b' post='125668' date='Jan 22 2008, 07:22 PM']There's your problem. Spotted it right away!!![/quote] Oi! Be careful what you say next, I've got 2 banjoes. And 3 accordions. Don't play em much though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wateroftyne Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 I'm in a band that often features Banjo *and* Accordion. Thankfully, not at the same time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ARGH Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 (edited) Email the f***tard a Bill Dickens Youtube..then if he still has the balls,tell him to come round my house.... He wont get near..the ground shakes too much. Edited January 23, 2008 by ARGH Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blamelouis Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 Should have just hit him! As Miles Copeland said "If you have a problem kick it in the balls,problems dont like genitalia booted"! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bassninja Posted January 26, 2008 Share Posted January 26, 2008 So our banjo player parked outside the gig with his new sparkly Deering banjo left across the passenger seat, because he hadn't got round to buying a f/case for it. He was first to arrive so he put the hazards on and dashed in to find out about the load-in, and when he came back out about 30 seconds later, someone had smashed his passenger side window, reached in and left another banjo on the passenger seat... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MB1 Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 [quote name='bassninja' post='128216' date='Jan 26 2008, 01:02 PM']So our banjo player parked outside the gig with his new sparkly Deering banjo left across the passenger seat, because he hadn't got round to buying a f/case for it. He was first to arrive so he put the hazards on and dashed in to find out about the load-in, and when he came back out about 30 seconds later, someone had smashed his passenger side window, reached in and left another banjo on the passenger seat...[/quote] MB1. BASTARDS! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wateroftyne Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 Q: What's the definition of a gentleman? A: Someone who knows how to play the banjo... but doesn't. Q. What's the definition of perfect pitch? A: Being able to throw a banjo into a skip from 20 feet away. Q: What's the difference between a man with a banjo waiting by the side of a road, and a hedgehog waiting by the side of a road? A: The hedgehog is more likely to be waiting for a lift to a gig. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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