"The Life and Art of Bass Playing"........

[eubassix]

Not sure if this has been listed before (or if this is the right place) .. but get this recently from a friend/bassist in the USA and found it amusing:-

[font="Century Gothic"][size=2][b]Beyond the Bass Clef: The Life and Art of Bass Playing
by Tony Levin[/b][/size]

In the beginning there was a bass. It was a Fender, probably a Precision,
but it could have been a Jazz - nobody knows. Anyway, it was very old...
definitely pre-C.B.S.

And God looked down upon it and saw that it was good. He saw that it was
very good in fact, and couldn't be improved on at all (though men would
later try.) And so He let it be and He created a man to play the bass.

And lo the man looked upon the bass, which was a beautiful 'sunburst' red,
and he loved it. He played upon the open E string and the note rang through
the earth and reverberated throughout the firmaments (thus reverb came to
be.) And it was good. And God heard that it was good and He smiled at his
handiwork.

Then in the course of time, the man came to slap upon the bass. And lo it
was funky.

And God heard this funkiness and He said, "Go man, go." And it was good.

And more time passed, and, having little else to do, the man came to
practice upon the bass. And lo, the man came to have upon him a great set of
chops. And he did play faster and faster until the notes rippled like a
breeze through the heavens.

And God heard this sound which sounded something like the wind, which He had
created earlier. It also sounded something like the movement of furniture,
which He hadn't even created yet, and He was not so pleased. And He spoke to
the man, saying "Don't do that!"

Now the man heard the voice of God, but he was so excited about his new
ability that he slapped upon the bass a blizzard of funky notes. And the
heavens shook with the sound, and the Angels ran about in confusion. (Some
of the Angels started to dance, but that's another story.)

And God heard this - how could He miss it - and lo He became Bugged. And He
spoke to the man, and He said, "Listen man, if I wanted Jimi Hendrix I would
have created the guitar. Stick to the bass parts."

And the man heard the voice of God, and he knew not to mess with it. But now
he had upon him a passion for playing fast and high. The man took the frets
off of the bass which God had created. And the man did slide his fingers
upon the fretless fingerboard and play melodies high upon the neck. And, in
his excitement, the man did forget the commandment of the Lord, and he
played a frenzy of high melodies and blindingly fast licks. And the heavens
rocked with the assault and the earth shook, rattled, and rolled.

Now God's wrath was great. And His voice was thunder as He spoke to the man.

And He said, "O.K. for you, pal. You have not heeded My word. Lo, I shall
create a soprano saxophone and it shall play higher than you can even think
of."

"And from out of the chaos I shall bring forth the drums. And they shall
play so many notes thine head shall ache, and I shall make you to always
stand next to the drummer."

"You think you're loud? I shall create a stack of Marshall guitar amps to
make thine ears bleed. And I shall send down upon the earth other
instruments, and lo, they shall all be able to play higher and faster than
the bass."

"And for all the days of man, your curse shall be this; that all the other
musicians shall look to you, the bass player, for the low notes. And if you
play too high or fast all the other musicians shall say "Wow" but really
they shall hate it. And they shall tell you you're ready for your solo
career, and find other bass players for their bands. And for all your days
if you want to play your fancy licks you shall have to sneak them in like a
thief in the night."

"And if you finally do get to play a solo, everyone shall leave the
bandstand and go to the bar for a drink."[/font]

Edited September 21, 2010 by eubassix

[gary mac]

Love it and so agree with the sentiment.

[johnny_frog]

Here endeth the lesson

[The Bass Doc]

Amen.

[Conan]

[quote name='eubassix' post='962685' date='Sep 20 2010, 08:28 PM']"And if you finally do get to play a solo, everyone shall leave the bandstand and go to the bar for a drink."[/quote]

What's a solo?

Great stuff - thanks for posting!

Edited September 21, 2010 by Conan

[fatback]

LOL

Great to get a laugh this morning. Thanks.

[xilddx]

[quote name='gary mac' post='962897' date='Sep 21 2010, 04:05 AM']Love it and so agree with the sentiment.[/quote]
What is the sentiment?

To me it reads like a statement of fact and Tony Levin's opinion of it is not really made apparent. I might guess he agrees with it, but it's not explicit in the words.

The only thing you shouldn't do with a bass is play stuff that's out of context, and even that could be the path to amazing music.

So, what's the point of Tony's words above? Great though he is.

[Conan]

[quote name='silddx' post='963249' date='Sep 21 2010, 01:13 PM']So, what's the point of Tony's words above? Great though he is.[/quote]

Are you maybe reading a bit too much into this?

[Truckstop]

Someone should forward this to the Pope.

Truckstop

[xilddx]

[quote name='Conan' post='963267' date='Sep 21 2010, 01:24 PM']Are you maybe reading a bit too much into this? [/quote]
No. I am challenging common assumption and causing debate for the sake of future enlightenment of, and thereby furthering the cause of, the creative bassist who feels dictated to and in thrall to celebrated bassists who adopt the attitude that because they are celebrated must mean they are doing everything right and therefore so must everyone else. It's all perfectly straightforward really.

[Marvin]

[quote name='silddx' post='963278' date='Sep 21 2010, 01:33 PM']No. I am challenging common assumption and causing debate for the sake of future enlightenment of, and thereby furthering the cause of, the creative bassist who feels dictated to and in thrall to celebrated bassists who adopt the attitude that because they are celebrated must mean they are doing everything right and therefore so must everyone else. It's all perfectly straightforward really.

[/quote]
Sorry, you lost me after no.

[arthurhenry]

I interpret it as saying that fast, high playing and slapping is perfectly acceptable, but it must be kept under control, not be over used and should always come second to laying down the low notes.

[algmusic]

[quote name='arthurhenry' post='963296' date='Sep 21 2010, 01:44 PM']I interpret it as saying that fast, high playing and slapping is perfectly acceptable, but it must be kept under control, not be over used and should always come second to laying down the low notes.[/quote]

+1

[Rosh]

Fantastic... The truth as it's written

[Conan]

[quote name='silddx' post='963278' date='Sep 21 2010, 01:33 PM']No. I am challenging common assumption and causing debate for the sake of future enlightenment of, and thereby furthering the cause of, the creative bassist who feels dictated to and in thrall to celebrated bassists who adopt the attitude that because they are celebrated must mean they are doing everything right and therefore so must everyone else. It's all perfectly straightforward really.[/quote]

Oh. That's all right then!

[gary mac]

[quote name='silddx' date='Sep 21 2010, 01:13 PM' post='963249']
What is the sentiment?

I guess I was saying that it's important for me to remember that my primary purpose as a bassist in a band situation, is to lay down the groove and keep good time.







And keep my noodling and occassional slap forays at home.




Maybe sentiment was the wrong word and I apologise for any distress caused

[bassface2k10]

[quote name='arthurhenry' post='963296' date='Sep 21 2010, 01:44 PM']I interpret it as saying that fast, high playing and slapping is perfectly acceptable, but it must be kept under control, not be over used and should always come second to laying down the low notes.[/quote]

Totally agree that's how i read it.

@ truckstops post

[EdwardHimself]

Lolz. An oldie but a goodie

[Marvin]

[url="http://basschat.co.uk/index.php?showtopic=101860"]http://basschat.co.uk/index.php?showtopic=101860[/url]

Perhaps Mr Levin had been reading this 'ere thread