skankdelvar

As mentioned above, Mr Bono has issued a statement: "A drop of megalomania, a touch of generosity, a dash of self-promotion and a deep fear that these songs that we poured our life into over the last few years mightn't be heard' said the bulkening frontman, peeling an onion and holding it to his nose "There's a lot of noise out there. I guess we got a little noisy ourselves to get through it," he said with uncharacteristic humility. Tears rolled down Mr Bono's crinkly face as he embarked on an extended mea culpa: 'I'm sorry if I ever made anyone jump all those times I clapped my hands. I also deeply regret taking a directorial position on the board at Fender. Apart from my suggestion for scented microphones, I can't think what else I can bring to the mix. I humbly apologise for signing off on the Adam Clayton bass which is basically just any old Jazz off the line with a printed signature on the back. Or the front. I can't remember. ' Drawing a deep, shuddering sigh Mr Vox continued: 'Truthfully, my entire life has been a complete waste of time; hubris and self-deception have been woven into every thread of my pathetic existence. I shall be addressing these issues in my forthcoming solo album, this to be produced by Mr Daniel Lanois, featuring a stellar cast of 'World Musicians' and including a duet with Mr Robert Plant. 'Let no one say I am irrelevant!' Mr Bono thundered, his eyeballs pressing dangerously against the inner surface of his trademark wraparound shades.

This is quite one of the [i]jolliest[/i] gear-share / charridee rant threads I've read. Full marks to the OP for maintaining his wry equanimity in the face of grievous provocation.

Pete Only just spotted this. I can't add anything new to the kind posts above except to wish you all the [i]very[/i] best. Cheers Paul

[quote name='EssentialTension' timestamp='1413323060' post='2577246'] In the UK, in my experience, the hat or jar or bucket, if used at all, is either passed around or taken round. I've never seen it left at the side of stage. [/quote] For the obvious reason that we are - indeed - a nation of thieving bastards. Someone would hook a stationary jar in seconds and out the door faster than weasel sh*t. It's not all Mary Poppins over here, Blue.

[quote name='xgsjx' timestamp='1413220655' post='2576008'] I didn't mind listening to ([i]Johnny B Goode[/i]), but the final straw of that song was a year & a bit ago, when I was trying to start up an Acid Jazz/ Funk/ Breakbeat band & the guitard insisted on playing this piffle at every meet up! [/quote] I'd recommend reviewing your audition policy. Ask them if they can play Johnny B Goode; if they launch into an accomplished, highly polished version of The Riff give them my contact details then ask them to leave. Once you meet someone who [i]doesn't[/i] know how to play it, hire them on the spot. That way, everything comes up roses.

If someone who [i]wasn't[/i] a stuck-up, talentless amateur possibly under the age of 20 with an annoying haircut and who obviously enjoyed watching the X-factor but who [i]had[/i] brought three spare basses of the highest boutique quality (all of which had mysteriously failed), voted for the same political party, had the same musical tastes to the extent of venerating Messrs Wooten, Pastorius and Manring and who - when soliciting the loan - crawled on their hands and knees in humble abasement before our generosity and world-class chops then I'm sure most of us would give the request due consideration before saying 'No - unless I can f**k your girlfriend, hur hur hur.' [color=#ffffff].[/color]

Owen bought a Telecaster guitar neck from me. Nice man, great comms, speedy payment and the smoothest of deals.

[quote name='Dad3353' timestamp='1413050136' post='2574550'] "Interests: Frills, gussets, elastic" Too late, [b]Squire[/b], you've been 'shopped'. [/quote] FFS, will people never learn that it's spelt [i]Squier[/i]. As for the frills, gussets and elastic, they are merely a small selection of the wide range of requisites available from my dear little haberdashery shop 'Monsieur's Boudoir' and are representative solely of my professional interests. As for what I get 'up to' in my spare time ... I shall draw a discreet veil over matters which are nobody's business but my own. [color=#ffffff].[/color]

[quote name='BetaFunk' timestamp='1413047478' post='2574522'] Now i'm intrigued why you were on a cycling forum. [/quote] In the search for views representative of the 'civilian' majority I typed '[i]BBC God Only Knows Sucks[/i]' into Google and alighted upon the first site which seemed to offer the likelihood of a balanced response. It could just as easily have been a hang-gliding forum or a community devoted to the care and feeding of terrapins. FWIW, neither of these subjects feature among my extra-curricular pursuits, the details of which I shall abstain from publishing, this being a family forum and whatnot.

[quote name='UglyDog' timestamp='1413026238' post='2574252'] IMO Page 'stole' the whole of STH in the same way that Bob Marley stole the whole of Buffalo Soldier from the Banana Splits. i.e. he didn't. [/quote] Inspired by this observation I just tried the 'Banana Splits Song' progression / riff with a loose, loping Marley-esqu rhythm. Works [i]good[/i]. Put the words over the top and it drags the whole thing a bit calypso. Not so good.

[quote name='BetaFunk' timestamp='1412975803' post='2573892'] Who likes it more in the cycling world. The lycra clad ones or the fixie/Rapha wearing types? [/quote] Speaking as a non-cyclist this remains unclear to me. A distinction may emerge as events unfold. (...[i]totters off in mild bewilderment to google fixie/Rapha, gets muddled, has a nap[/i])

[quote name='UglyDog' timestamp='1412959301' post='2573702'] ... if that's a £3k bass then I am a piece of cheese. [/quote] Red Leicester? Tilsit? Caerphilly? Bel Paese? Red Windsor? Stilton? Gruyere? Emmenthal? Norwegian Jarlsberg? Liptauer? Lancashire? White Stilton?

One of the many things I like about the Tribute scene is the punning. Oasish? Green Date? Fleetwood Bac? You've got to love it.

Lest we be accused of being 'stuck-up, out of touch musos', I present below some comments from [url="http://www.cyclechat.net/threads/god-only-knows.166703/"]CycleChat[/url] - "a fun and friendly online cycling community": [quote] ... what a b00dy awful version of a great song the BBC and so call 'stars' wasted their time on .... A result less than the sum of it's parts. Yes, the Beach Boys one was better. I think they should call themselves the Beech Boys because it's soooooo wooden. Holy Sheiyte.... that's really sheiyte...really.. For the Love of Music? For the Love of God more like.......... [/quote] To be fair, a [i]few[/i] CC-ers like it in a tepid sort of way. But it's nice to know we BassChatters are not simply being driven by our proximity to the issue.

[quote name='UglyDog' timestamp='1412849887' post='2572609'] If it wasn't for the charity aspect, it'd have few if any redeeming features IMO. Right motive, wrong song choice. [/quote] Didn't know what all the fuss was about. Until I listened. I am not a prejudiced man and - though some may believe otherwise - it is a [i]very[/i] rare day when I find myself reduced to sheer, choking rage Let us set aside the ham-fisted arrangement, lumpy mix and turgid 'beat'. Let us quell the nausea we may have experienced upon viewing the soupy, simpering visuals which accompanied the 'music'. Let us ignore issues of provenance and draw a veil over questions of faithfulness to the original. The truth is that this performance of 'God Only Knows' is truly the most appalling piece of sh*t I've heard in a long life that includes enforced exposure to the [i]oeuvres[/i] of Paper Lace and Mr Russ Abbott. One may not even recline on the old chestnut of 'the valueless-ness of subjective opinion in musical criticism'. By every objective measure the song falls so low as to be skimming the bricks at the bottom of the sewer. The fact that it is intended to support a charitable effort in no way detracts from its unutterable loathsomeness. In fact it makes it worse; if this is the best the BBC can do in a noble cause, God help us all when they aren't much bothered. Stuff for charity doesn't [i]have[/i] to be half-arsed, y'know; the authenticity of the charitable transaction is not [i]undermined[/i] by professionalism, taste and talent. In any event, it is immaterial whether a musical performance is intended to relieve - say - the suffering of the Thomson's gazelle or merely to line the pockets of its composer. A song's ulterior purpose is irrelevant to its inherency. This being the case I shall now proceed to youtube, there to seek out 'The Horst Wessel Lied'. It may have been the Nazis' marching song but it's musically superior to this bloated, formulaic, self-regarding train-wreck. It will also make my ears vomit, the better to resume normal listening. [color=#ffffff].[/color]

Martin bought a book from me. Smooth transaction, clear comms and a very nice man.

[quote name='andybass87' timestamp='1412857803' post='2572707'] I kind of tire of playing 12 bar blues after a while [/quote] Quite so. The old 1,4,1,5,4,1,5 can grate after a while, as can the mandatory use of the classic turnaround. Hence the attraction of 8- and 16-bars, 12 bars with chord substitutions and the ever-popular John Lee Hooker 10 and a half bar blues. Also wigging the f**k out on one chord.

[color=#282828][font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]Who to check out? Here's the collected wisdom of BC over the years. The following threads cover Blues songs and artists:[/font][/color] [url="http://basschat.co.uk/topic/47821-blues-playlist-for-beginners/"]Blues playlist for beginners[/url] [color=#282828][font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif][url="http://basschat.co.uk/topic/142487-which-blues-songs/"]Which Blues Songs?[/url][/font][/color] [url="http://basschat.co.uk/topic/122227-good-blues-songs/"]Good Blues Songs[/url] [url="http://basschat.co.uk/topic/87900-blues-band-standards/"]Blues band standards[/url] [url="http://basschat.co.uk/topic/244092-blues-jam-standards/"]Blues jam standards[/url] As ChrisB points out, Chuck comes from the R&B end of blues though he was viewed by many at the time as a rock'n'roller. Hence you may wish to slip some early Little Richard, Jerry Lee Lewis, Big Joe Turner and Fats Domino onto your playlist alongside the first three Stones albums which are mostly comprised of R&B covers. Either way, you'll discover there are at least 99 different flavours of blues ranging from almost unlistenable 1920's rarities to the contemporary gloss of Mr John Mayer. It's an almost limitless treasure trove; if you like what you hear you'll be finding good stuff for the rest of your life.

Thinking about cars and aircraft of a certain period, the primary sources of names were (i) edged weapons (ii) dangerous animals (iii) inclement, windy weather and (iv) place names including but not limited to British cities and Italian holiday resorts. In this spirit I would offer: * The MJW Halberdier * The MJW Cougarino * The MJW Rashabar (The '[i]Black Wind' of Iraq[/i]) * The MJW Norwich Mk1 Tourer * The MJW Ancona Gran Veloce

[quote name='jonsmith' timestamp='1412605607' post='2570290'] less prattling, mainly from non-entities with little of consequence to say [...] Good idea, dreadfully executed. [/quote] Quite so. These sundry 'personalities' frequently give the impression that they are parroting a memorised script written by someone else. I fully expected to see a slightly bewildered Mary Berry expiating about the Mellotron. The space occupied by these drones might comfortably have encompassed detailed digressions upon Mr Hackett's career, Mr Collins' sterling work with Brand X and the precise variety of lemon upon which Mr Banks is accustomed to suck.

Chap! Nice to see you back. Per your enquiries: I'm sorry, I haven't a clue. Doubtless someone will be along.