Well after experiencing all that as well, I’m with you that you can just get on with it and not let it get to you. Some days it does, others it doesn't. I think I've plateaued to a certain degree. Saying that, having your guitarist watching a bloody football match on his phone during rehearsals is going a bit too far (as was telling us he won’t gig on the nights his team were playing).
My band options are limited, in that i dont drive, so I’m pretty much stuck with what i have. Ive been doing it too long, and on here for long enough, to know its not unique to me. Maybe not quite the norm, but norm enough to know i could well end up in a worse situation if I walked.