Dan Dare

A great way to lose customers, eh? I don't do online shopping, so don't know whether it's possible, but can you specify no substitutions when you order?

It always amuses me when I buy something expensive and am instantly bombarded with ad's for more of the same. I appreciate that it's AI at work, but you'd think the wallies who programme it would build in something that recognises that few if any of us buys something costing a ton of money every week.

There's a chap whose work features on here occasionally who could do that for you...

So do I, but it cost a lot more than £200.

Whilst flats don't suffer tonally once they've lost the new zing (which I'm always glad to see the back of), I find the intonation deteriorates after a few years, especially on the low E. When I remove them, I find minute dents in the windings caused by the frets. I suppose once they've bedded in, they don't move or stretch, so the same part of each string contacts the frets every time you play. That probably doesn't do their ability to vibrate cleanly any favours.

Worst bass amp I've owned? One of these. A mighty 12w, with an open backed cab'. Sounded quite nice at low volume for guitar, but hopeless for bass. I sold it for peanuts. Now people are asking silly money for them.

Oh Gawd. Why is it that an instrument is thought to be worth stupid money because it has dead skin, dried sweat and bogies from somebody famous on it?

Agreed. I used one before I got my current rig, which has onboard DSP that takes care of things. It worked well. They go for peanuts used. I got about £20 for mine on eBay, from memory.

My God. What a beast. Eight KT88s. I don't want it. I really don't want it. I positively don't want it. No, really. I don't.

You can pick up a simple active crossover for less than £100 which will allow you to split the signal from the mixer. You may not need one. Some mixers have a dedicated sub output (mine does), so you can feed that to the sub and dial out the low frequencies you send to your top boxes using the master eq on the mixer.

I just searched for "turbosound milan sub" and it came top of the list.

The Alto won't cut it, imho. A single 12 with a 2" voice coil won't deal with drums and bass at any kind of volume and I'd be very sceptical of the claimed 900w rating. The Vonyx looks to be a cheap DJ's boom box. At around £200, it's bound to be a waste of money. I wouldn't assume that either will apply a HPF to the signal to your tops at those prices. Sorry to sound negative, but a decent sub can't be had that cheaply - certainly not brand new, anyway. Unless they employ sophisticated cabinets (which they won't at bargain basement prices), they aren't going to be light, either. I'd look for something used from a reputable make. There's a used Turbosound Milan 15 on the 'Bay at the moment (not mine or being sold by anyone I know) for £350. Something like that would be more up to the job.

True dat. When I built my bitsa P, I intended to string it with knackered La Bellas and go for the Jamerson sound, Decided on the standard Seymour Duncan P pickup at about £40. For nearly three times the price, I could have bought the SD Antquity. The spec's were identical for both. The Antquity just came with worn looking plastic covers. Sounds just as I wanted it to.

Someone who doesn't give a rat's. In the UK, jams and open mic's are pretty much the same thing.

Exactly. It wouldn't happen nowadays because of the smoking ban, but there are other issues. I always tell people no drinks on top of the amp. Some give me a funny look, but if that drink goes over, the fan will suck the spillage into the amp and bang. New amp time.

No, I don't really care. For me, jam nights are a fun evening and everyone gets the same chance - CV or not - to do their stuff. An important element of jam nights is that they are a chance for those who haven't done much playing publicly to do so. Some are good/experienced, some less so. We all have to start somewhere. As someone who has "played festivals, been on albums", etc, I appreciate that. At a jam I attend, the BL will sometimes ask me to play with less experienced players to help them along/keep order and I'm happy to do so. Others did the same for me when I was young and green 50 odd years ago. It's nice when someone good turns up, but it's a bonus. Lending instruments is a thorny area. If you don't know someone, you don't know whether or not they will treat your stuff with care and respect. The fact that they may be a "name" guarantees nothing. I wouldn't have lent a certain Jaco anything of mine, for example. He was known for not giving a flying one when he was off his face.

So here's a similar scenario. If you want to play at a jam night, by all means put your name on the list (asking friends to do so on your behalf is a bit naff). Saying you're "happy to get up" implies you feel you're doing everyone a favour. Few care that you've "played loads of festivals, played with people who you may have heard of and been on a couple of albums". Many of us have done similarly and don't make a deal out of it. It might be different if you are a known singer/frontman, but a bass player? Let's be real. If someone wishes to take their expensive bass to a jam night, that's their business. Many jam nights have a few loan instruments (as I pointed out previously, I take one when I play in the house band at jam nights). If you don't have an instrument, feel free to ask to borrow one, but you can't demand or expect it.

I bought a used Encore P bass for £30ish. I put decent strings on it and sorted the action, so it plays nicely. It's actually perfectly useable. I've occasionally taken it to gigs in iffy venues where I don't want to risk something better. Amen to that. Plenty of people don't wash their hands after a trip to the khazi. Just wipe away and sod what they think.

I wouldn't worry as long as it has a volume control. It will be obvious if you are over-driving the cab. It will make horrible noises before it expires.

The entitlement of some people is quite staggering, isn't it?

Exactly. Even if your bass isn't expensive, it's yours and you have the right to decide who, if anyone, plays it. I used to take a cheap eBay special to jams as a loan instrument. Several people turned up their noses at it and demanded to play my vintage Jazz or my Spector. Sorry, sunshine. Not happening.

Why? What next? Should you lend a guy your car to get home after the jam because he hasn't brought the bus fare? When I've been the bassist at jam sessions, I've been quite happy for people to play through my rig (obviously), but they don't play my bass. Seems reasonable.

Or employ a pair of heavy duty cable-cutters?

Agreed. Putting large boxes on poles is a chore and they block the view of the band. You need quality heavy duty stands with a wide footprint if you want to avoid the risk of one being knocked over and squashing someone, too.

They're here already. I've encountered several in London. The most recent was outside Charing Cross station. He had a skeleton electric fiddle and a powered PA cab and was "playing" popular classical stuff. I play the violin, so it was obvious the music did not match what his hands were doing. It seemed to be working. A number of people were nodding appreciatively and putting money in the hat. I was feeling particularly grumpy that day, so I hung around and started telling them he was faking. If looks could kill...