Happy Jack

Mind you, this might be a better option. https://www.lumag-gb.co.uk/shop/lumag-md500e-mini-dumper/?fbclid=IwAR0mugN17gj4OACIrbjd15GzB8AtfXOSIP8kPbWPGGXBeV7oyM-czOVRnV0

Once the gigs return, reckon I'll be getting one these. https://www.cautrac.com/product/400/

And that's the title of my next album right there.

You could try buying your guitarists a pair of these:

Using my Briefcase a lot during Lockdown and the post-Covid wasteland of low-volume social distancing. That one-knob compressor is surprisingly effective. If I was feeling pretentious, then I might even say 'musical'.

I'd have thought anything with valves in would add some compression ...

Can you even begin to imagine the queue of punters at the Dog & Duck, all waiting to shout, "Oy! Your amp's fallen over mate!".

That's really sad. Don't you hate it when someone's dreams fade and die. Or, in this instance, bwahahahahahahahaha!!!

And this is why a missing apostrophe matters.

The last time I saw this was 10 years ago at The Fiddler's Elbow in Camden, and it was actually our keyboards player who'd fallen through the black curtain at the back of the stage, not realising that there was a one-metre drop there.

"Unavailable". That's not the band's name, that's an error message.

Should you find yourself anywhere near this bass, you'll be most welcome to have a little play.

True, but you CAN hide a lot of mistakes that way. 🤨

How much are you offering?

It's going to take a while to get the bass up to London from Taunton (with enormous and very generous assistance from those West Country twins @Woodinblack and @stewblack) so in the meantime here are the photos that the vendor sent me. I was very taken with the beautiful Hofner Senator leaning against a complete Vox T60 + matching cab. Turns out he bought them all new in 1963 ... Don't yet understand the two strap buttons, but I'm sure I will. Note that the finish is completely rattan-proof. This is not actually the first bass that I've owned with eight tuners. Unlined board ... mmmmmmmmmmmm. No, I don't know where or how I'm going to hang this thing either. The Case Of Doom. That makes me want to take a nap.

Just think of all the selfies!

So anyway ... I bought it. Now, where's my supertanker?

Are you really staying in The Queen's bedroom, Russ?

What could possibly be more important than winding up guitarists?

Ain't dat da troof. The reality is (IME anyway) that the only solution is to walk away from that band and/or guitarist. Unless he's an 11-year-old, in which case there may still be time to educate/train him. If he's supposedly an adult, then he won't be doing much more learning.

Can't say as I'd noticed.

The long-running series on 30-minute thumbnails of famous Hollywood stars and famous Directors are well worth checking out.

Perhaps something like this sumptuous custom conversion? https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Wide-neck-student-acoustic-guitar-for-large-fingers/193471606099?hash=item2d0bce6d53:g:1b4AAOSwN-lewqyb