[quote name='christhammer666' timestamp='1343905760' post='1757065']
the music/project direction im in at the moment is doom metal type i suppose that dont help my mood
[/quote]
Long ago, I studied some music therapy. One of the principles is that one should avoid happy music at all cost in the beginning, if music is to be a tool. The mismatch with the mood makes it counterindicated.
BTW, having suffered from depression my whole life, or as long as I can remember, I sympathise with and understand your story to some degree. Me too, I've done the gear buying thing: "But if I have a recorder and start recording my compositions and my playing, I'll surely play a lot more, and get out of the depression that way! Yeah!"
I have sold, or hopefully am soon selling, every bit of gear (recording stuff, synths, guitar even) with the exception of the bass related stuff. I cannot live with the thought of one day missing my basses - and that day is sure to come if I sell. YMMV of course.
Best of luck!
bert