Bailing On Your Band

[Norris]

3 hours ago, Sean said:

No,  I'm not.

Good on you! It sounds like a horrible, toxic and abusive situation. They don't deserve any further consideration from you. You owe them nothing. Leave with your head held high.

[Geek99]

And their heads nailed to the floor. Seriously do something to really screw things up for them. Like walking out on a gig five minutes before kick-off 

[tauzero]

Should really go into "acrimonious band break-ups".

[madshadows]

6 hours ago, Sean said:

The 4-piece covers band I'm playing in is finishing up in December and we have 3 gigs left to play. 

 

I've never really been a proper member. I'm excluded from any discussions, am part of a band WhatsApp group that is called "Here we go again..." referring to the large number of bassists they've had but there's little other than logistics in that group.

 

When we turn up to gigs, I'm allocated a spot, rather than defaulting to high hat side of the drummer. It's essentially wherever the guitarist doesn't want to go. 

 

This week I received a message from the guitarist, through whom I get all the important comms, saying that I was required to stand down for the next gig as they were using a previous bassist because he needed a gig to cheer him up after having a hard time (bereavement). No discussion,  straight out of the blue. I've not been happy for a while, so I responded saying, OK but get him to play the other remaining gigs, and I'm out. He's probably not available for the next ones because he's got commitments with his own band! 

 

This isn't normal behaviour within any bands I’ve ever been in before. It was never made clear that I was a "permadep" and it was never agreed that recently the stage "bants" was targeting me with some pretty vile comments, thinly masked as "jokes". I also can't do anything right when it comes to packing up and helping. There's tons of other things I've not been happy with, mostly related to comms (conversations, feedback, ignoring my messages) and being kept out of the loop.

 

The gigs have been good and it's been a learning experience but I'm bailing and with good reason. I would never treat anyone the way I've been treated. 

 

Anyway, I'm starting with a new (to me) band and it's all a very different vibe. 

 

They sound like a bunch of arseholes and you are better off out of it !!, good luck with the new band  

 

John 😎 

[TimR]

2 hours ago, Geek99 said:

 

I guess they didn’t get the memo about proper spinal-tap behaviour being changing drummers like they change underwear and went for bass players instead 🤷‍♂️

 

They all died in horrific on-stage accidents.

 

Just sayin'. 

[Geek99]

13 minutes ago, TimR said:

 

They all died in horrific on-stage accidents.

 

Just sayin'. 

I know, but @Sean and his predecessors aren’t actually dead as a result so I felt the spinal tap reference worked better with his situation in mind …. 🤷‍♂️

Edited 16 hours ago by Geek99

[TimR]

3 minutes ago, Geek99 said:

I know, but @Sean and his predecessors aren’t actually dead as a result so I felt the spinal tap reference worked better with his situation in mind …. 🤷‍♂️

 

Yes. I was just more concerned for their dummer's health...

 

 

[Geek99]

6 hours ago, Sean said:

No,  I'm not. There are only 3 left before the band folds.  1 is the one where I was told to stand down, then there's the other one and then there's the big final bash with the ex-bassists. It is being billed as "a night with some of the bassists we sacked and some of our favourites." 

 

The final gig has been arranged where all previous bassists have been invited to play and 5 or 6 of them have agreed.

 

I was recently told on arrival at a venue that my tone is too "trebley". I said that 

 

 

They criticised your tone? WTAF? 
tell them to go f*** themselves with a fish fork 🤬 

[dmccombe7]

3 hours ago, Geek99 said:

And their heads nailed to the floor. Seriously do something to really screw things up for them. Like walking out on a gig five minutes before kick-off 

WOW as much as i like this, it's a little bit wicked. 👌

Dave

[Geek99]

5 minutes ago, dmccombe7 said:

WOW as much as i like this, it's a little bit wicked. 👌

Dave

No, it’s richly deserved payback and thus carries a stamp of approval from God 

[dmccombe7]

1 hour ago, Geek99 said:

They criticised your tone? WTAF? 
tell them to go f*** themselves with a fish fork 🤬 

A band i was in criticised my tone in a Deep Purple tribute because i didn't use a pick. 

I made it clear that's how i play and happy to step aside and let them get someone else.

They decided it wasn't an issue after that.

I eventually left that band with that issue being a small part of my reasoning.

 

My current Glam band now 6yrs the guitarist once made that same comment that my tone didn't have enough attack and i should use a pick. I told him the same thing and once again he decided it wasn't that big an issue after all. He's now gone 3yrs ago and replaced with a guitarist that loves my style of playing and regularly compliments me after a gig. Him and the singer love it when i do the Steve Harris gallop tone in some songs and to be honest that's probably closest to how i prefer my tone but doesn't fit every Glam song and i have to reign it back a bit.

Dave

[Geek99]

What the f*** does a guitarist know about anything? I don’t know why you, someone smart enough to play bass, would even listen to someone struggling to get beyond baby-babble 

[dmccombe7]

9 hours ago, Geek99 said:

What the f*** does a guitarist know about anything? I don’t know why you, someone smart enough to play bass, would even listen to someone struggling to get beyond baby-babble 

You're on fire tonight. You on the happy juice 😂

Dave

[Geek99]

23 minutes ago, dmccombe7 said:

You're on fire tonight. You on the happy juice 😂

Dave

Nope. Haven’t touched a drop 

[dmccombe7]

8 minutes ago, Geek99 said:

Nope. Haven’t touched a drop 

As much as i  agree with the comments i can see you have no strong feelings then ? 😂

 

Dave

[Geek99]

2 minutes ago, dmccombe7 said:

As much as i  agree with the comments i can see you have no strong feelings then ? 😂

 

Dave

Me? No. I liken being a bass player to being a dad looking after “stroppy teenager” drummers and “toddler” guitards. If they want you to use a pick they can “get tae f***”, is I think, the appropriate phrase in Scotland. 

Edited 5 hours ago by Geek99

[JapanAxe]

@Sean that band sound like proper gaslighters!