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The Ultimate Cringe?


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Whether with your own band or watching another, what’s the most cringeworthy thing you’ve witnessed?

For me, it happened many years ago when my gf and I had a fortnight’s holiday at an apartment complex on one of the Balearic islands. They had a communal restaurant/bar/entertainments building and one night we sat to watch a youngish chap singing and playing his synth-type keyboard. He was pretty awful, but we thought there was about to be a huge improvement when he played the opening chords to Jump (Van Halen) – got it pretty much spot on, especially with the sound. But after the intro he stopped to let everyone know he didn’t know the rest of the song but that he loved the way the intro sounded on his keyboard.

Debbie and I either spilt or nearly choked on our drinks.

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We played an open mic night recently and there was a few solo acts where clearly it was only their immediate family who thought they had even the slightest bit of talent, the worst being a wailing woman solo "artist" murdering "I Walk the Line" she could either play the guitar badly or sing terribly but not do both at the same time!!

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We did an open-mic night and one of the bands did their three allotted songs and were desperate to do more. They said "who wants to hear The Boys Are Back in Town" to which the guy running it said "Everyone, just not from you". Pretty funny, but also cringe-making - never beg an audience.

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[quote name='Lozz196' timestamp='1431027227' post='2767134']
We did an open-mic night and one of the bands did their three allotted songs and were desperate to do more. They said "who wants to hear The Boys Are Back in Town" to which the guy running it said "Everyone, just not from you". Pretty funny, but also cringe-making - never beg an audience.
[/quote]
Fantastic!

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Last summer in south of France on a campsite, it was a talent show at the restaurant , quite a large amount of adults , but this meant a large amount of kids all sitting by the stage . About half way through the evening a European guy gets up to sing "creep" , accompanied by acoustic guitar. Imagine Arnie singing it , nothing wrong with that , but he had the lyrics printed to read and did not have the radio version . Every chorus " your so f***ing special " , he had no idea he belted out , all the Brits didn't know what to do, neither did the young kids

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[quote name='Bassmonkey' timestamp='1431030571' post='2767195']
Any band attempting Livin on s prayer. Cue "Whoa we're half way there......" Holds mic to audience. Even freakin Bon Jovi can't hit that note. Please guys, please
[/quote]

the bon jovi tribute i do make a pretty good job of it i even have to hit a 3rd above the note you're talking about ;)

mine has to be noodling the song before playing the song irritates me no end

Edited by Chrismanbass
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Was gigging a few years ago, just a local bar gig where up and coming bands cut their teeth. First on the bill was a singe/songwriter guy with an acoustic guitar. Half the crowd were there to see him and had paid to get in. He was a youngish guy of about 22, and there was a big anticipation ahead of his set, usual bit where folk are giving it "so talented, next big thing" and "I wouldn't want to be any of the bands, having to follow Martin" - all that. He took the stage to a rapturous cheer, and spent a good ten minutes footering with his guitar. Then he spent ten minutes staring into space. Then he got up, walked off stage without a word and never came back.

Poor guy probably just got stage fright but talk about awkward....

Then there was the gig where the singer started heckling the crowd because someone shouted the classic "Play your GOOD song" after a few frankly dire songs. He had a monumental strop, shouted "YOUSE HAVENY GOT A CLUE ABOUT MUSIC. YEES AW WORK IN SHOPS AND FACTORIES. I'M A MUSICIAN!! I KNOW WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOOT." He proceeded to play the the remainder of his set, flipping the double bird at the crowd constantly, before shouting "Goodnight ****s" and walking offstage.

Nice.

Edited by Funky Dunky
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[quote name='Bassmonkey' timestamp='1431030571' post='2767195']
Any band attempting Livin on s prayer. Cue "Whoa we're half way there......" Holds mic to audience. Even freakin Bon Jovi can't hit that note. Please guys, please
[/quote]

That's the perfect deflection , if I could do this for most choruses that go high I'd be able to front a band

I love Lee Mack's sketch of Robbie Williams doing this , "I've paid £150 for this gig, please can you fockin sing it yourself"

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