Dave Vader Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 Well, met up with a thoroughly decent chap last night in Exeter and decided to join his originals band, might end up travelling all over the country with them doing festivals and the like. All the things I meant to do 15 years ago but never quite got round to. However, my 80s tribute band is still limping along, I think it should be dead by the end of this summer, and I will be telling them they need to get a dep for me for one or two gigs anyway (long story, singer never cancelled a gig I told him I couldn't make ages ago and it's coming up now). Plus I agreed to go play guitar for some guys I know from ages ago back home in Bideford. Busy busy... Anyone else trying to juggle 3 bands at once, and keep a successful marriage? (The missus complains she doesn't see me enough already). I'm hoping to not need to play in the 80s tribute by September, as my financial situation should have improved enough to not need it anymore. But I don't want to upset the guys, we've had fun, so I need to be fair to them (except for one of them, who I would gladly kick in the tits) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truckstop Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 Don't risk it mate. Listen to your missus! Truckstop Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wateroftyne Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 [quote name='Dave Vader' post='1173493' date='Mar 23 2011, 04:36 PM']Anyone else trying to juggle 3 bands at once, and keep a successful marriage? (The missus complains she doesn't see me enough already).[/quote] Yes. Mrs. WoT can't wait to get me out of the house because: a ) It makes me happy b ) It gives her the opportunity to watch the crap she likes on the telly without me moaning on c ) I come back with a few quid Mind you, she's a gigging musician, so she understands the appeal. In short... it depends on your other half. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigRedX Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 (edited) I discovered long ago that I could only manage to juggle 2 of the following activities: 1. Band 2. Relationship 3. Job The only way I could be in a band and a relationship at the same time would be if my band income was sufficient to support me, or if I was in a relationship with some who was financially prepared to support my musical activities. Of course I'm totally crap at time management. You may be better. Edited March 23, 2011 by BigRedX Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cat Burrito Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 I'd go steady if you are having to ask. My wife was always really supportive but after 17yrs together & countless bands I'm now single. Most of my ex band mates are divorced too. Pick just one group if it's difficult at home. Not my words, any marriage guidance councillor will tell you that! Obviously if you are not so into the relationship, bring it on! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
icastle Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 [quote name='Dave Vader' post='1173493' date='Mar 23 2011, 04:36 PM']Anyone else trying to juggle 3 bands at once, and keep a successful marriage?[/quote] Nope. I prioritise... ...two marriages later and I'm still playing in three bands... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deepbass5 Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 Absence makes the heart grow fonder Just tell her “you want me to be happy don't you" It helps if it earns money. ps has anyone successfully convinced the Tax man that gig money is not earnings, annd that a band is just a subsidised hobby. it is different for me as I married the Singer 30 years ago. Which is handy as she runs the band, so when I buy new gear or a bass, I just say “you do want me to sound the best I can don't you" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marvin Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 Sounds potentially dangerous. A bit of a chat Mrs Vader and go from there I'd say. Personally my wife and horrors come first and in the unlikely event that a band, let alone 3, I was in got that busy it was having a detrimental effect on my family I'd have to knock it on the head - of course this is easy to say now as I'm not faced with the situation but.... All the best Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peted Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 two bands and a marriage with young family. I was playing bass in bands when she met me so it's not like I've changed at all It is a balancing act though and have to make sure that I'm spending quality time with the missus to match my music time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deepbass5 Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 All joking apart, it is hard for them, and I have had spells where the boots on the other foot and found myself booking odd Saturday nights out for meals in our diary to keep a balance. From our original line up the drummer, lead and rhythm are all divorced now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
icastle Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 [quote name='Johnston' post='1173611' date='Mar 23 2011, 06:06 PM']Fixed [/quote] Don't make me track you down and play you sea shanties... Git! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Vader Posted March 24, 2011 Author Share Posted March 24, 2011 Yeah, I was thinking I might have to lose a band. But which one? Would she rather see more of me? So keep the new originals one, as she'd love to go to more festivals, which we can't afford, so free entry with the band is a good thing. Or would she rather keep the extra dosh that the 80s tribute bring in? In which case, she's stuck with a miserable sour-faced husband who feels like a total sell-out. The other one doesn't come into it, as we're all in at least 2 other bands, so it won't gig often, and when it does it'll be more of a party atmosphere for all concerned I'd have thought. Her teacher training that I've been funding for the last 3 years is nearly up, so money shouldn't be an issue come september. I suspect she would rather have a happy husband, who is in a cool originals band and can get her into festivals for nowt than a bit of extra cash for a lot of hard work. Hmmm.... now to go start a new originals vs cover bands thread Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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