StingRayBoy42

SATURDAY! That definitely was last night. Cantina Band at some place called Pitchers in Tamworth. Em (you remember her... from the awful shopping centre carol thing we did? She bought me the fingerless gloves? That's the one.) is from thereabouts and reckoned it used to be one of the best places in Tamworth but had recently reopened, so her and a couple of wind band/Jazz orchestra mates came down to see what it was like (and to see us. A bit). When I arrived at the postcode I'd been given, my blood ran cold, my heart sank, my bowels turned to liquid and it was all I could do to stop myself from running screaming back to civilisation, begging forgiveness from the Almighty (other deities are still available). Emblazoned above the door, spewed in neon hatred was most loathsome two-word phrase in the English language (except maybe 'Inoperable tumour' perhaps, or 'Piers Morgan'?)... 'Sports Bar'. You know the sort of place, there's at least one in every town and city (if you have a shred of humanity or the faintest glimmering of a soul, you will have avoided them), horribly bright lights, shiny surfaces, painfully loud thumping dance music (I love loud music, but not to the point of being able to actually physically feel it jolting my sternum with every beat), two hundred and eighty seven enormous TVs all showing boxing (I can't see the appeal of watching two oiled, semi-naked men battering one another into unconsciousness/submission in front of an unruly mob who are goading them on , but I digress)... and we've turned up to play classic rock (and McFly). Still, best foot forward and all that... think of the money. The punters watched us set up with a mixture of horror, amusement, naked hostility and disdain (apart from Em and her mates... they were on side (singer and guitarist's WAGs (both lovely) were there as well, so not a totally barren field)). Stage was nice and big, so setup was decent (we dumped our bags and cases and stuff in the DJ booth (an actual booth this time), then the DJ arrived and asked us to move it all. You'd think I'd have learned (learnt? I'm never sure which is right) by now.) Massive place with a really high ceiling (and a mezzanine floor where you can play pool!) and we don't use PA for backline (apart from the kick drum) so I had to 'go nuclear' and turn the Markbass volume up to four! (It was still too loud so I turned it down to three (and a half). I love that amp.) First set was met with pretty much total indifference (apart from Em's crew and the WAGs, they gave us some encouraging whoops and a bloke in a wheelchair had a dance (in his wheelchair, we're not miracle workers)), second set was slightly better, a couple of people at the bar sang (and air guitared) along to Sweet Child o' mine and Teen Spirit and we even had a few dancers up for the Slade christmas one ("Of course I remember it!" (I started to remember it halfway through verse 1... went OK after that)), went for a wireless wander to join Em at the bar (and encouraged her to pluck my G string) which was a hoot, the DJ made us do an encore that neither audience or band wanted, a couple of blokes said they'd enjoyed it as we were packing up (I think that's what they were saying - the music had progressed from merely sternum-jolting to skull-shatteringly loud... they were smiling, anyway) so not as bad a gig as it could have been. It was nice to have a few mates there and to show off (?) a totally different side of my playing (they're used to hearing me play Duke Ellington, Gershwin and Glenn Miller) and they all enjoyed it (especially the McFly one) so... yeah, I'll take that. If you've read this far, you should DM me and recommend an album I should listen to. Or just call me an idiot. Played the Sterling -> small board -> secret weapons -> MB CMD121, Tiger/leopard print Converse. Finished at a reasonable ish hour, paid, packed up, Beth Orton on the way back to my Birmingham estate (Dad's place) for a pint a Father's homebrew Mango, Pineapple and Spiced Rum cider (ABV unknown) and lovely cats. Bed about 1. Early start tomorrow!

THURSDAY! I know that's not last night, shut up, I've been busy. Dysfunctionals 3 piece at O'Neill's, Broad St Birmingham. It was a private party - works do for Mitchell & Butlers, a local brewery so we weren't really sure what to expect. Parking in the middle of Brum was fun, load in had unfortunately all been done by the time I'd found a parking space (I was LIVID, as you can imagine) setup was a total pain as the stage is tiny and we had to share it with the DJ (We dumped all our bags and cases and stuff on/under/around the DJ booth (table) then found out there was going to be a DJ so we had to cart everything out to the van (which had somehow bagged a parking spot right outside, thankfully)). We were set to go on at 9, then the manager asked us if we could go on at half nine as people would still be arriving at 9, no problem, actually can you go on at 9:45 as there's still not that many here... we went on about 10 to a packed house, all completely pissed, total baying mob who absolutely loved it. We had a mate doing the sound which was nice. First set went down a storm, dancefloor was packed from start to finish, great reception, good stuff! Quick vape break, queued at the bar for about two years to get a pint, back on for the second set, similar reception to the first set but more drunken (them, not us), went for a wireless wander in the last song which went down a treat, two encores before the DJ took over with ear-splitting thumpishite (thank God (other deities are available) for the ACS lugplugs). Played the StingRay (I love that Bass. Daisy (Goddaughter) gets it when I die) -> small board -> secret weapons (VTDI -> Thumpinator) -> MB802 -> PA, Cherry Red/Oxblood DMs. Pack up/load out was horrible as all the cases were in the van and there was no room to load them back in, so we had to empty them out of the van, then take stuff out of the venue *in order*, fill the cases in the street (and they say it's not a glamourous business!) and load them back into the van... nightmare. All done, Ben Folds on the way home, back about 1:30 (ON A SCHOOL NIGHT!), a tiny tot of Diplomatico Rum (40% ABV), bed for 2, up at 7 for work. Worked (I had a school concert (I teach primary school kids to play in rock bands) but that doesn't really count as a gig so I won't bore you with the details (Tiger/leopard print Converse and my work 3/4 size Jackson super pointy Bass if you must know)), then went out with one of my schools work dos, which was lovely but not a gig, so I won't bore you with the details of that either. Running on fumes by the end of the night.

That is hideous. I love it.

People don't believe me when I tell them I've got a favourite Spandau Ballet song, but it's True.

You should have said, I was in Tamworth on Saturday...

Yeah, the weather was abysmal! You didn't miss much TBH but it would have been nice to meet a fellow BC'er without handing over a stack of cash. 😀 I don't think the dying shopping centre/high street is unique to Tamworth - Kidderminster's looking pretty run down, as is pretty much every town centre. I blame the internet. 😟 And Tesco probably.

TODAY! AND TONIGHT! Two very different gigs! I use the term loosely. Up at unacceptable for a Saturday o'clock to drive to Tamworth (through Storm Darragh, mind you... pelting rain, high winds and yet *still* bellends (mostly in Audis, Beamers, Mercs and Teslas) screaming down (up? (actually, let's not get into that again)) the M6 at about 90, undertaking, tailgating some idiot fop (me) in a Hyundai who's just trying to stay alive... arseholes) for 11am to play carols in the Ankerside shopping centre with the mighty Tamworth wind band. (Em (the TWB Euph player and JJO (more about them later!) trumpet player) asked me to stand in so I couldn't say no). Imagine a depressed shopping centre in a modest regional town (with much to be modest about) with lots of closed units and not many shoppers around (it was supposed to be the christmas lights switch on but they cancelled it due to the weather) actually no, imagine dawn of the dead (is it dawn of the dead? Or day of the dead? The one where they're all stuck in that godforsaken mall with the zombies outside?) and you're probably closer to it. It was *feezing* cold (Em bought me some fingerless gloves in the break, which helped) and a pretty grim experience... we played loads of stuff from 'The Red Book' (not the Mao Zedong one), which anyone who's been near a wind band in December will know - they're all beautiful arrangments and in horrible keys - six flats, anyone?! We were supposed to play until 4 o'clock (!), but by about 2 we'd all lost the will to live, so the conductor suggested we just knock it on the head about half two (we all eagerly agreed) so we did. We played and sounded OK all things considered but it wasn't an experience I'm in a rush to repeat. Unless Em asks really nicely again, which she probably will. Then it was hotfoot to Brum for a quick pitstop at my Pa's place and to pick up Birmingham's finest Japanese non-binary morris dancing jazz trombonist and off to the Cameo Suite in Coleshill for the JJO Black Tie James Bond/Christmas (first set Bond themes, second christmas stuff. No idea why.) concert! It took ages to get there due to horrendous weather and a couple of roads blocked by fallen trees (!) but we made it in time for a quick top 'n' tail rehearsal. The first set (Bond) sounded fantastic - The main theme sounds great, Goldfinger was mint, Skyfall was really good, Writing's on the wall (how a man can sing that high is beyond me) sounded superb and Live and let die (the Stan Kenton big band arrangement) was a particular highlight, the trumpets reach notes that are far too high to reasonably exist. Oh and nobody does it better is an absolute belter - the flute in the intro which I'd never really been able to hear before was the glaze on the cherry on the icing on the cake. I drop D (Hipshot) on that one for extra phatness. Five differnt singers! Couple of minor flubs, but overall we sounded great. A friend of the BL who's a pro player (West End type stuff) said some lovely things about my playing at half time, which was nice. Second set was all the christmas stuff, not as exciting to play as the Bond themes, but a couple of good'uns in there... The opener was It's the most wonderful time of the year, which is ace to play, my part in Jingle Bells is bonkers - four pages of relentless FAST crochets... I even hit a couple of the right notes (purely by accident), we did a weird Latin style arrangement of God Rest Ye Merry Gentleman which is a taste I have so far failed to acquire, we did a lovely (Tom Kubis) arrangement of O Holy Night which is really weird and tricky but it all came together (Soprano sax solo by Sarah and Flugle solo by Steve) and a cracking playout/mashup which cracks along at about 800 bpm. Sold out audience of about 90-100 people (all friends and family, we're a 'community' band) who were all dressed up to the nines in black tie/dinner jackets/posh frocks and were very appreciative. Played the 70s (reissue mex) Precision -> small board (VTDI -> Thumpinator (the secret weapons!)) -> MB 802 which sounded cracking! I was at the front for some reason and the BL commented how good the Bass sounded which is always nice to hear. Full on suited and booted affair (Midnight Blue 1460 DMs with orange laces (the band logo is orange on black)). Packed up, dropped Brum's finest JNBMDJT off, The Wondermints on the way home, back about 1230 (avoiding more downed trees) for a *very* stiff V&T and the remains of yesterdays Jambalaya. And so to bed, and looking forward to a Sunday of doing absolutely NOTHING.

That's what big foil wants you to think

Didn't he coat his fingerboard in yacht varnish or something?

Do we have to detail which handbag we're taking to the gig now?!

Love the fact that people are now including footwear in their rigs!

Oh my, she's pretty... Looks like an angel, sounds like a beast.

21st March 1992, Xaverian College Band Night with No Fat on a Turkey. We opened with Red Berry Joy Town by the Wonderstuff, we also did She Bangs the Drums (Roses), Crazy Little Thing Called Love (Queen) and three of our own. There's video evidence which shall remain encased in lead, buried under a volcano for all time.

When you drop Boss stuff, the floor will probably come off worse... I dropped a TU-2 down a flight of concrete stairs, still works fine!

I pronounce it 'Flanger' - never heard it pronounced 'Flanger' before.

They are beautiful... I need them!

Kudos to you for playing that live - killer Bassline!

LAST NIGHT! Azura (ignore the posters that say 'Azure band') at O'Neill's Leicester! We always have a good one here so we were really looking forward to it. We did it as a 3 piece due to the singer/guitarist being in the prcoess of being sacked (due to continued and sustained acts of egregious knobbery (with arseitude aforethought) and a complete lack of theology, geometry, deceny and good taste). Horrendous journey up (down?) the M6 through biblical rain courtesy of storm Bert (who names these storms? Seriously... 'Bert'?!), load in was the usual with the added fun of heavy rain, setup was good - the drummer and I had it 80% done by the time singer/keys/guitar had gone and dumped the van. It was pretty busy and the dancefloor was already packed when we started (I think the East Midlands Drop Dead Gorgeous Blonde Convention (EMDDGBC) was on in Leicester that afternoon) and the floor stayed full all the way through the first set, which was ace and went really well. Singer/keys/guitar (he's called Henry but it's probably easier to just call him singer/keys/guitar) had a gaggle of EMDDGBC alumni in front of him who were giving him loads (in a good way - asking for Justin Bieber songs, trying to put him off, asking him for mad announcements and suchlike), we got asked to sing Happy Birthday to Chloe (?) then someone else came up and said it was Alison's (or Alistair's?) birthday and they wanted Happy Birthday as well and before you know it, we're singing Happy Birthday *again* to NINE different people. I sang Shake Ratlle and Roll which we did in the wrong key so it was a Paul Robeson remix, I got all the words in Escape (The Piña Colada Song) right for (I think) the first time ever (singer/keys/guitar cocked up the BVs which is always hilarious (there are SO MANY words and all the choruses (chorii?) are slightly different)), the drummer got propositioned again (happens every gig, he always says no thank you (he's engaged)), quick vape and shandy break, second set was even better than the first (except some spunktrumpet grabbed singer/keys/guitar's mic which is attached to his keyboard and got some choice anglo-saxon from me, singer/keys/guitar and a bouncer), Country Roads had the whole place up and singing their hearts out, the holy trinity (Dakota, Sex on fire, Brightside) took the roof off, three encores (oh... go on then), we were all knackered and very sweaty by the end of it. Pack down (we have got way too much stuff), load out (bouncer gave us a hand with the big stuff), back down (up?) the M6 (rain: biblical), back to singer/keys/guitar place, stuff out of the van into my car, back up (down?) the M6 (the rain had somehow progressed from biblical to apocalyptic) to my Dad's place in Brum about 2am for a pint of Old Pa StingRayBoy's homebrew pear cider (ABV unknown) and the world's loveliest cat (and two other cats who are also very nice) and bed about 3. (Up at 10 and back down (up?) along the M6 to Jazz Orchestra rehearsal (with Birmingham's best japanese non-binary morris dancing trombonist) which was really good (first set Bond themes, second set christmas) but that's not really about last nights gig) I'd planned to take the P for a change but I picked up the wrong case and took the Sterling (no great hardship, it's a lovely Bass (did I ever tell you Ernie Ball gave it to me for nothing?)) -> small board -> amp board (VTDI set to fliptop) -> MB 802 -> PA (Newly re-soled cherry red DMs, foot fans). An absolutely top night.

And they say it's not a glamorous business!