Most of the deps I do are for friends and friends of friends. On a dep gig I expect to get the same rate as the rest of the band.
I always treat a new set list and playing with a new band as an opportunity to learn new songs, meet with different players and get my foot in the door for more gigs. I've come across some great songs over the years. I don't have a great memory, so I always chart the songs. Just in case.
One annoying thing bands sometimes do, send me a set list with MP3's and videos and then play (on purpose or not) different arrangements!!