I agree, if I can’t hear myself Theres no reference point and also no pleasure
Edit : I like to think “I’m doing that and it sounds amazing”. I watched a phone recording of myself, an acoustic guitard and a talented female singer. I sounded loud to me, but was inaudible on the phone. She’s always telling me to turn up, maybe she’s right
I get that phones don’t always capture bass well but you usually get something