Happy Jack

Sorry CV, but why exactly are you so obsessed with Doc Martens? Or is it Daily Mail? Whatever ... time to find a new slogan maybe?

I think we could all do with a break from this Cabin Fever.

Is Lockdown over yet?

Not many shuffles in jazz, eh Roger?

Far Canal! £72 to avoid having to miss a beat while you scroll down?

"I’d like to noodle along plugged or unplugged". You'll be playing at VERY low volume, then. None of those basses will produce much volume at all when played unplugged, and the solid-bodied TRBX605 pretty much nothing, even at home stereo or PC-with-speakers volumes. If you're particularly wedded to that selection of basses, then syphon off some of your budget for a headphone amp into which you can feed an Aux signal from PC or whatever and the 1/4" instrument jack from your bass. At least that way you'll able to hear yourself play without ripping the ends of your fingers trying to get enough volume.

Should I tell you about my allotment?

But how can she be sure that she'll be able to get what she came for? And with just a word, too!

We're bass players ... we all do that!

Is that actually a thing, or did I miss the joke?

Can you get me and @Silvia Bluejay on the Guest List?

If in doubt, it's in E.

OK, here is an upside down image (no, me neither) of quite possibly the worst tablet I've ever owned. Despite being a Samsung, it is easily the slowest device I've ever tried to use and I only have it because it was a freebie with a contract upgrade five years ago. This comes to every gig with me, so it's loaded with Gmail & Google Maps, iReal Pro & YouTube, even a way huge digital clock for use on NYE. It came pre-loaded with something called Polaris Office 5, where the spreadsheet is compatible with Excel so that I can dump my original straight onto the tablet without issues. At the gig I attach a phone holder to my mic stand, clip the tablet into it in landscape format, and enlarge the bit I need to see.

Excel. Seriously. Excel. Make your set list up as a spreadsheet, save it as a PDF onto your tablet or phone, then use the touch screen to enlarge the next few songs & scroll down as necessary. No need to buy anything, install anything, or learn new commands.

Yep. Who knows where a mic has been.

When we first wanted to call ourselves The Junkyard Dogs - oooh, 10 years ago now - we found that there was (i) a well-established covers band by that name oop North, and (ii) a sort-of scrumpy & western outfit in the West Country called Hobo Jones & The Junkyard Dogs. On balance, we decided to leave the name alone and went out for a while as The Brentford Nylons ("we do loose covers"). Then we discovered that the Northern band was folding and calling it a day. We waited a few months, and then re-named ourselves The Junkyard Dogs. Inevitably, the following year they re-formed! Too late ... the deed was done. In the last eight years we've never once been confused with Hobo Jones, and we've only ever had a single booking enquiry intended for the Northern band. The real issue is whether or not your marketing could possibly overlap with theirs. We use exclusively Facebook and Lemonrock. The latter doesn't seem to exist North of Milton Keynes so no problem there, and though it it is widely used in Hobo Jones country we're saved by the filing issue; we're a J and they're an H. That just leaves FB, and so far that's never been an issue.

And I have one downstairs right now.

Or even your NADs.

Every time I see a Topic entitled NAD, I always (and I mean always) think of

In two months time, Britain will be full of people who travelled on a crowded plane (with recirculatory air supply) to Spain, spent two weeks partying in pubs & clubs (mainly with other Brits), travelled back to the UK on another crowded plane (with recirculatory air supply), there to be greeted by reminders that it is awfully awfully unsafe to go and see a band play at their local. The sooner we abandon this hypocritical sham, the better. Will there be a second peak? Yup. And a third and a fourth. Get used to it. It's now part of your life, my life, and everybody else's life.